Our Secret Lullaby
by Dean's Little Secret
Summary: Dean never put too much thought towards how he would die.He'd expected to die for someone he loved though, but never did he expect to die for the very thing he ilight xover
1. Chapter 1 Frozen

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or Supernatural or any of the lines I borrowed from the movie**

**Warning: slash, language and spoilers for the Twilight movie and book**

**Also I know Dean didn't know about vampires until the end of season one but let's just pretend he does know. Oh and this story is set four months after Sam goes to Stanford**

**We love our tragedies.  
We're both broken in our own little ways  
We're broken and we fit together just right  
You know I saw the black inside your eyes  
I saw they were eclipsed that night,  
And they looked just right.**

**Evans Blue: **_**Eclipsed**_**  
**_**  
**_

**Our Secret Lullaby **

**Chapter I: Frozen**

When John Winchester let his eldest son go on his first hunt, by himself, he was at the age of 24. He had spent every year since he was four travelling from town to town hunting the supernatural. He'd spent every day hunting something evil since his fourteenth birthday; he'd spent everyday under fourteen staying in dingy motels, with his younger brother Sam. He'd been trained as a soldier, Daddy's little fucked up, lonely soldier, but his Father didn't care, he was obsessed with revenge, obsessed with finding the demon that killed Dean and Sam's mother nineteen years and four months ago. It wasn't to say that Dean didn't want revenge, because he did, he really did. He wanted to kill the demon that fucked up his life and who had helped turn him into an obedient little soldier.

But some days Dean just wanted to be normal, the sad thing was he wasn't sure he knew exactly what normal was. Was normal living in a home with a white picket fence, laughing everyday, finding love and getting a job then getting your own home with a white picket fence? Well if that was normal then normal could stay the hell away from Dean. So why the hell did Dean want normal in the first place, but he didn't really know what it was like to be normal. So why care, why miss something he never had. He should just stop thinking and get to Forks before sundown and get over the fact that his father is an obsessed bastard and his little brother left him to go to collage.

Yeah, he should get over that.

When Sam left, Dean didn't know what to think. It felt like he had lost an arm or a leg, because Sam had always been there and he was meant to look after him. How could he do that now? How could he look after Sam when he was hunting a possible case of vampires in Forks and Sam was in California, how the fuck could he protect him? But hey, he was in collage, how dangerous could it be? The thing that pissed Dean off the most was that Sam was safe and he had left and Dean, _Dean_ was not safe. Sam left Dean behind, he abandon him and for that he hated him.

Sam had the courage to leave yet Dean stayed and he is the perfect fucking soldier, Daddy's perfect fucking soldier, and he wants to think for himself and he wants to love and he wants… _he doesn't want normal_. He wants to be free though, to be free of his demons, his past, his family, his life, but he can't run, he can't hide. For that he hated himself.

Dean turned the music up as loud as it could go and it should be hurting his ears but he was numb, always so numb. He looked up to see the sign that said Welcome to Forks and he felt relief wash over him. He could find a motel, get some rest then head out to the forest tomorrow. When he stopped at the lights he glanced around the town, it was raining outside, but hey it was Forks and it was under a near constant cover of clouds. He switched up the heat but he felt tense, perhaps it was the watchful eyes on him, seeing who the new visitor was.

The light turned green and Dean tore off, leaving the watchful eyes behind. He didn't like when people stared at him, he hated how they just looked and it made him feel like they knew, _knew _everything. But how could they? No one knew Dean like Dean, though sometimes he wandered how well he knew himself. He was sure he was becoming more damaged by the day and he was falling apart bit by bit and the numb feeling never left, hadn't left since the night he saw his mother pinned to the ceiling being consumed by flames. He should have felt burning heat against his face that night but all he felt was the ice freezing his heart.

Dean imagined he would be frozen forever, frozen so cold that he was numb. At the age of fourteen Dean met someone though, met someone who made him feel slightly less frozen but he was quickly whisked away, on another fucking hunt. He froze again after that and no one else could make him feel unfrozen. Not even his little brother, who could make him smile after the worst day but it was not enough to thaw him out. He was frozen, damaged and the perfect little soldier.

A motel came into view and for once it didn't look like a crap, it wasn't exactly five stars but hey it was good enough for Dean. He parked the car and he had to remind himself to turn the engine off, because someone was always sitting next to him, but not now. _Not now_. He walked into the office and a pretty dark hair girl served him and he should have flirted but he was tired of one-night stands and Dean loved sex but he was so damaged. He just didn't want to bring anyone else into his screwed up life.

He took the key then headed to his room, lucky number seven, _lucky number seven my arse_ where Dean's thoughts. He shut off the engine and the music stopped and silence fell over Dean. So quiet. _So quiet_. He flung his duffle over his shoulder and walked into the motel room, it was basic, a bed, a small kitchen and a bathroom. But it was clean or rather cleaner then the ones he'd stayed at. He shut the door and dropped his bag onto the bed, _the only bed_, and made his way to the kitchen. Coffee, he needed coffee.

As he made himself a strong coffee he listened to the silence and it screamed louder then a thousand cries of pain. It screamed the truth, it screamed that Dean Winchester was damaged and he was so fucking far from the perfect son but he so close to the perfect soldier and it was so screwed up. The silence was maddening. It was so maddening that he left half his coffee and headed to the nearest bar, so he could drown his sorrows and just forget the screaming silence and repeating thoughts.

**XoXoXoX**

By midnight Dean was ready to leave and head back to the motel. He was drunk and tired and he had a possible vampire hunt and he should get up and leave. But then a young woman walked over to him and she was not quit as drunk as he but she was nearly there. They started talking or rather she started talking and Dean didn't hear a word she said but she didn't care, she only wanted to go home with him. But he heard his thoughts, going around and around. It was like there was a freight train in his head and it was so noisy but it was better then the silence. He had shot after shot, trying to drown out his thoughts, trying just to feel something, anything. After awhile he did feel something, the girl's hand running up his leg and her breath in his ear, she said lets go back to my place and Dean had said no more one-night stands but he didn't say it now.

They left together, both using the other to keep themselves up right. Dean drove back to her place, both blind drunk and lucky as hell the streets were quiet. As she left Dean for a moment, he returned to his thoughts but he couldn't think anymore, he tried but he couldn't even form words let alone think about his pain and his suffering. He loved this feeling, the feeling of nothing, no numbness, no confusing thoughts running amuck in his head, just nothing. _Empty_. Just like he was.

When the girl came back, she pulled him towards the bedroom and he didn't have time to think again for the rest of the night.

He had time to feel though.

And all he felt was frozen.

**XoXoXoX**

The next day Dean stared at the local newspapers with a blinding headache and no memory of the night before. He remembered waking up beside some strange girl and he didn't need evidence to tell him what he had done. He needed coffee though, coffee and something to get rid of his pounding headache. One hour later and his head still pounded but he was no longer with the strange girl, instead he was back at the motel, eyes scanning the local paper for information on his hunt. He was pretty sure he was hunting vampires and all he needed was a machete and he'd be set. He didn't even have to wait for nightfall, the hunts happened out in the forests and since it rained most days he could head out now. If only he could keep his eyes open.

He cursed himself for drinking so much, he was working a job and he let himself get blinded. Yeah real fucking great of him, guess he was slipping away from the perfect soldier. That suited him just fine though. He was tired of being ordered around and being told to hunt this, hunt that and never did he get to do anything he wanted. No one listened to his dreams, his desires, no one cared that he had them, they just cared that he was good a hunter. Why would no one listen to his dreams, his thoughts? The silence listened though, it heard all his truths and it screamed them back at him.

You're pathetic, you're worthless, you're going nowhere, you have no future, Sam does, you don't, you're just a soldier in a never-ending war. The silence screams the truth to Dean and he grounds the palms of his hands into his eyes and begs, _pleads_, for the silence to shut up. But it screams and it screams and more truths pour out and Dean can't take it. He is walking out the door, keys in hand, jacket half pulled on. He is in the car and the music is chasing away the silence.

He has no idea where he is going but he drives and he drives, the town passes him by in a mass of colour. The music is blaring out but all he can hear is his heart pumping in his ears. He pulls the car to a halt, the large forest is surrounding him, the silence is surrounding him. He gets out of the car and he runs, he runs from the silence, he runs from his demons, his past, his family and he runs for himself.

By the time he stops, he is in a meadow, small white flowers blanket the ground and the sun seeps through the clouds. He doubles over and he takes in a deep breath, refiling his lungs and he stands back up and screams. He screams for his mother's death, he screams for the hard life Sammy had to have and he screams because he is lonely and all he wants is to find someone to love. He wants love. He never told anyone, not Dad, not Sammy, he just kept it to himself. So now he screamed for the love he longed for and the love he needed, God he just needed to feel love, _to feel loved_.

As his screams come to an end, he collapses to the ground, panting and sobbing for the first time since years. He wants to scream again, to look up at the sky and yell and _demand_ that he get some answers. Demand why God took away his mother and ruined his life, but he doesn't scream and he doesn't demand answers from the cloud filled sky. Instead he cries, he cries for his mother's death, for Sammy's hard life and he cries for himself.

He stayed in the meadow until the night air stung his face and chilled him to the bone.

**XoXoXoX**

The next day Dean found himself at a local diner, it was better then the ones he had been to, the food was decent and didn't taste like ass. The whole diner was better then the ones he had been to. There were people chatting, familles laughing and yet he was sitting on his own, eating a greasy breakfast and drinking coffee. He doubted anyone noticed him, he was most likely invisible to their eyes, he didn't need to be seen though, didn't need to be noticed. He felt invisible to the world around him, only being noticed when someone wanted something from him, but it was fine with Dean, he didn't need to have people asking him how he was or pretending to care.

He felt a fit rage spread through his body as fast as a bolt of lightening, he was angry as hell then he was calm. The flicker of rage left him with tears in his eyes and the need for someone to care about him. He just wanted to be loved, to have someone say they loved him and to make all the hurt go away. But as he watched the many faces pass him by he knew none of them were going to do just that.

He dropped his fork to the table then stood up and left, leaving some money behind. He stepped out into the cold, the rain was just a drizzle at the moment but heaver rain was to come. He tightened his jacket around him and stuffed his hands into his pockets. He walked down the street, taking in the smell of the fresh crisp air and the many faces that passed him by. As he walked along he wandered if he'd find the girl who'd make him feel human again, make him feel alive. He played over some images in his head. He'd turn the corner and he'd bump right into her, they'd each say sorry at the same time then their eyes would meet.

Dean shook his head to clear away the silly thoughts, it would never happen. He was more likely to turn a corner and bump into a possessed man or woman rather then find true love. But as the corner came closer and closer he couldn't help but hope that as he turned he'd walk straight into her. As he turned the corner he closed his eyes just long enough to feel a bump, his heart skipped a beat. Was this really happening? As he opened his eyes he saw a pale skinned teenage boy, he had thick dark brown hair that stuck out in all places but what caught Dean's attention were his golden eyes. They made Dean go weak at the knees.

"Sorry" he managed to say, his voice cracking slightly, as it used to do when he was nervous, but why the hell was he nervous? "Didn't see you." he couldn't help but stare at the young man, his pale skin seemed as white as snow and when he spoke his voice felt like velvet to Dean's ears.

"Mistakes all mine" he gave an odd smile with his perfect red lips then took off as fast he could.

Dean spun around but found that the young man was no longer there, no trace that he had been. But something hung in the air, a sweet smell, something so sweet he couldn't quite name it. He shook his head, he should get back to the motel, it was freezing out here but he kept staring, _waiting_, but the young man did not come back and Dean returned to the motel.

**XoXoXoX**

Dean stared at the ceiling, he'd been lying in bed for hours and sleep would not come. But he was so tired, so exhausted, but sleep would not come. He kept thinking, and it was stupid, but he kept thinking about the young man he walked into this morning. His skin so white, his eyes so bright and his voice, God his voice was like music to Dean's ears. Dean felt like he was going insane, he didn't even know the kid's name and he felt like he was falling in love. Which he couldn't be, no way, _no way_ was he falling for a guy. Dean was just tired and confused, right?

He couldn't stop thinking though, couldn't stop hearing his voice, seeing his face and it was crazy because Dean was straight and this man, _this kid_, was making Dean go insane. But he knew nothing about him, didn't know his name, his age, his favourite colour, he knew nothing. But every time he closed his eyes he saw his perfect face he felt his heart beat faster.

This was crazy; Dean was acting crazy, mental even. He didn't know a thing about the young man, he could be a killer for all he knew, possessed by a demon even. Dean had to clear his head and sleep. For God's sake he had a job to do and he had already wasted enough time. Dean closed his eyes and he willed himself to sleep. He would not think of the strange young man, he would not think of the hunt ahead of him. He would sleep and tomorrow he would do his job then leave this town.

And never, _ever_ come back.

**XoXoXoX**

The next day Dean is sitting at the same diner, he liked it, good food and great coffee, but it wasn't the real reason he was here. As he sipped his coffee he scanned the room, trying to find the mysterious young man from yesterday. He watches pretty girls walk past and they smile at him and one even winks but he doesn't really notice, he can't stop thinking, (can't stop seeing his face) He looks back down at his meal and tries to think of something else, _anything else._ He thinks of the hunt, of what he must do and what he should have done already. He is wasting his time, he should have this job finished, hell he should get up right now and finish it. (But he stays and doesn't move)

He stays for five more coffees and it is nearing midday and he should get up and hunt those damn vampires (but he doesn't move) he is waiting and he is praying that the young man will come back (he doesn't, but he stays) eventually the waitress walks over to him and she is pretty, tan skin and honey coloured hair and green eyes but all he sees his pale skin and golden eyes.

"You lonely hun?" she asks and her voice is sweet but not soft like velvet.

"I'm looking for someone," he says, meeting her green eyes (all he sees is gold)

"Who may that be luv?"

Dean chews the inside of his lip, should he ask, should he find out who the mysterious young man is? It might help him feel saner. "A young man, about seventeen, dark hair, snow white skin-"

"-And golden eyes" she says with a giggle "He just walked in."

Dean turned around to see the pale skinned man standing in the doorway, his golden eyes staring at Dean. Dean turns away, back to face the waitress and he looks at her (she's pretty) but he sees nothing. "Thanks" he stands then turns to face the young man, who is leaning against a booth; his firm arms were dangling beside him and his gold eyes hypnotized Dean. He wants to walk to him but he just stares and he can't make his legs work and he must look like a fool.

He doesn't have to move though; the pale skinned man walks to him. Even that makes Dean weak at the knees. He walks so gracefully, like he is walking on air. Dean wanders what the hell is wrong with him, he wants to know why he can't move or breath and he wants to know what the hell is happening?

"Hi" he says, voice so smooth and a sweet smell hangs in the air around them "I'm sorry for yesterday."

"Ah…" damnit! Why can't he find words? What the hell was happening? "It's ok…"

"No, it's not" he says and Dean feels his heart race and this is stupid so fucking stupid "I was rude and I apologise."

"Well apology accepted" he found his voice now, the only thing was it sounded different, sounded rough and dry (not like velvet.)

The man before Dean looked around the diner then back at Dean "I'm Edward" he stuck out his hand, "Edward Cullen."

"Dean Winchester" he said reached out and accepted Edward's hand, he jumped in surprise when he felt how cold it was. As cold as ice.

"Sorry" Edward said pulling his hand back "I get cold hands" he laughed softly "as most people do in Forks."

"As they would" Dean smiled then asked, "so you live here?"

"Yeah I do" he smiled and Dean had a funny feeling that Edward Cullen was an angel "but you don't, do you?"

"Just staying a few nights," he said with a smile of his own "I'm here hunting."

"Hunting what?" Edward asked.

"Deer" he lied "I was raised as a hunter." _Least it's half true_ he thought.

Edward went to speak when someone walked through the door, a gust of cold wind blowing through the diner. "Well good luck" he took a step back "Be careful though, strange things have been happening" he gave the same odd smile he had given yesterday then turned and walked off.

"Wait" Dean ran after him, slamming the diner's door roughly behind him (he didn't care though) but Edward was gone. Dean sighed then pulled his jacket around him, he had to get out of this town and leave 'Edward Cullen' in his re-view mirror.

If only he could stop seeing his face every time he closed his eyes.

**To be continued**

**Please leave a review and let me know what you think of this very different pairing :) **


	2. Chapter 2 Losing Myself to You

**I can feel you all around me  
Thickening the air I'm breathing  
Holding on to what I'm feeling  
savouring this heart that's healing**

**Flyleaf: **_**All Around Me**_

**Chapter II: Losing Myself to You**

When Dean Winchester woke up he was sure, _so very sure_, he saw Edward Cullen standing at the end of his bed. But when he turned around to switch the light on he was gone, but he had been there, _he was there_. Dean didn't sleep again after that, he kept thinking, kept seeing, Edward Cullen at the end of his bed. Skin so white, eyes so gold. He kept staring, eyes glued to the sport where he had been, but no one was there, no one came back. _No one was there_. When the sun rose, sleep took over Dean and his dreams were full of the mysterious young man. But as he dreamt, he felt… _alive_, felt wanted and loved. The dreams took him away from his hellish life and he found himself in a world so perfect and safe. He found himself staring into golden eyes, but as he dreamt, he lost himself. He was not Dean Winchester in his dreams, he was not a hunter and he knew nothing of the supernatural and the dangers of the world.

But as he woke, sun blinding him, his pain came back. The feeling of being frozen returned and he wanted nothing more then to return to his dreams (return to him). But as his senses came back to him he shook his head to clear away the dreams, to clear away the image of him. He was Dean Winchester and he didn't hide in his dreams. He pushed on. Pushed passed the pain and sorrow, he did what he was told and he did not need love. He couldn't fall in love, he never stayed in one place long enough to love someone, but he… he… did not love Edward. He would not think of him, he would do his damn job and leave and then he'd forget (_he'd try and forget_)

He found himself fuming with rage, storming to the shower and turning the water on as hot as it could go. He stripped off, tossing his clothes around, knocking over things and cursing. He stepped into the shower and the water cascaded over his body, washing away his anger and soothing his aching body. He made the water hotter and it should be burning him but he didn't feel the heat against his skin, he was far to frozen these days to feel it. He scrubbed harshly at his skin, trying to erase the memories of his dreams, of Edward, but his dreams, _his thoughts_, could not be removed like dirt. He could scrub and scrub but the images stayed and he could hear his voice (soft as velvet)

"Damnit!" Dean punched the wall, knuckles splitting and blood mingling with the water. "What is wrong with me?" he whispered, voice hoarse and broken. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to compose himself, shoulders heaving and heart racing. "Get a hold of yourself Dean," he told himself, he was losing it and now was not the time "You got a job to do."

**XoXoXoX**

Midday found Dean arguing with his father, he was pissed as hell that he had yet to finish the job. Guess he wasn't so fucking perfect after all. The strange thing was Dean loved the fact he made his Father angry, he loved the fact that for once he was doing something for himself. He ended the phone call with a rude comment and stormed out of the motel room. He had enough of being ordered around like a lap dog, he was not going to be Daddy's little soldier. Not at the moment anyway.

He was pretty sure though that John would end up coming here if he didn't get the job done and that would be worse then the phone call. He could actually kick Dean's ass if he were here. His father had never been abusive to Dean or Sam but he had been harsh, leaving them in the middle of a forest with no map and making them find their own way back. (Yeah, great way to show someone you cared for them) The sad thing was, he had done worse then that. Like Dean's fourteenth birthday for example, no 'happy birthday son', just 'it's time you start hunting' and what did he get? A broken arm, a busted lip and numerous bruises, but hey wasn't his fault he couldn't fight a fucking angry spirit. He managed to kill it though, got no 'good job son' though, just 'next time do it better'.

_Such happy times_ Dean thought bitterly as he paced back and forwards in front of his motel room. He wanted to go out, to see the sights of Forks, but was too afraid. What if he saw Edward again, he was already losing it and it was fucked to hell because he didn't know the first thing about Edward. What he did know was that he had to stay away. But people don't always get what they want, because it just so happens Edward appeared in front of him. He nearly gave Dean a heart attack as well, he'd turned around then when he spun back around he was there. Standing perfectly still, like a statue, eyes as gold as ever.

"Sorry" Edward said and Dean had to keep himself from running for the fucking hills "Didn't mean to startle you." Maybe he should say 'I didn't mean to make you go crazy'.

"It's fine" it was _so_ not fine.

"What are you doing today?" he asked and it sounded like they had been friends forever but he didn't even know this kid and he was standing in front of his motel room and he had been in his room. He had been, God he had been. "You're frustrated" he said when Dean didn't reply and God damnit he was spot on but he was sure he looked more perplexed then frustrated.

"It's my father" he said then bit his tongue, he didn't know this guy, he had to stop spilling his secrets.

"Treats you like a soldier?" he asked, raising one perfect dark eyebrow.

Ok, Dean was really freaked out now, how did Edward know that, was it just a lucky guess "yeah… he does" he said, voice low "I don't want to talk about it" he said suddenly, bitterness in his tone "You wouldn't understand." He wouldn't, no one could,

"I can try," he said, looking away then back "But… I'm just a stranger" he stepped back "I shouldn't be here" another step back "Stay out of the woods Dean" with that he turned around and walked away so fast yet so graceful and Dean was left confused, frustrated and to be honest, scared.

**XoXoXoX**

Dean stared out through the rain-splattered windscreen; the huge woods loomed over and around him, surrounding him in darkness. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and watched as the leaves danced over the hood of the car and took off into the air then disappeared. Never to be seen again. He wished he could disappear that easily, to just disappear off the face of the earth and go someplace safe. Yeah, right, like that was going to happen. Dean killed the engine then got out of the car and headed to the trunk, to collect his machete. The icy rain bit into his skin as he circled the car, taking in her beauty in the dull light. The car before Dean was a 67 Chevy Impala and it was the only constant thing in his life.

He sighed heavily then marched off, heading towards the path that ran through the forest. He was in the place where the vampire attacks had been taking place, so far three people had died and if he didn't kill them more would follow. He strolled along the path, feeling like a soldier walking to the battlefield, but hey, he was a soldier and this was his battlefield. Only he stood alone, no one at his side and if he were to die, no one in this town would ever miss him. His father might, Sammy would, he knew that, but if he were to die, well he'd never have to feel frozen again.

But then again, death might be just as bad. He shook his head for what felt like the hundredth time since he arrived in Forks. There must be something in this town making him crazy… oh wait there was: Edward Cullen. The strange, beautiful, not so normal young man whom Dean had walked into and now, _now_ he couldn't stop thinking about him. Dean had listed three reasons as to why he couldn't stop thinking of Edward Cullen. One: he was beautiful and anyone, guy or girl, could not get him off their mind. Number two on the list was that Dean had gone crazy and was in a coma and none of this happening, but that was just ridiculous of course. The third on his list was that Edward was so different and so strange and was like a puzzle to Dean and he wanted to figure him out. He just needed some more pieces to work with.

He liked number three the most; the second one scared him because if he were in a coma then Sammy was on his own. Ok, so Sammy was pretty much on his own anyway but if he needed help Dean would be right there. But Dean was sure he wasn't in a coma and he was sure Edward Cullen was real and he was going to figure him out. Which was harder then it seemed, because Dean couldn't even begin to understand why Edward would be all chatty then all of a sudden take off. It wasn't normal, but maybe Edward wasn't normal.

Dean stopped in his tracks, what if Edward wasn't normal? What if he were a demon? Well demons he could handle. But he didn't want him to be a demon; he wanted him to be human. To be something to Dean, which was fucked because Dean didn't need anyone, he could look after himself. (He could lie to himself) Dean stomped on the ground with his booted foot in frustration, this, _this_ was crazy, so fucking crazy! What had Edward done to him? Maybe he was a demon or something and he was under his spell.

But Dean didn't want that.

"Well, well" came an ominous silky voice "who do we have here?"

Dean swivelled around, machete held tight but there was no one to be seen and he had heard someone, right?

"He's cute" this voice was female this time, smooth and sweet "I like him."

"Who's there?" Dean shouted, "Show yourself you bloodsuckers."

Suddenly a man jumped down on the ground before Dean. He stood as tall as Dean, his white skin seemed to glow against the dark background and his shoulder length black hair clung to his face. "Well, well if it isn't a hunter" he hissed smoothly "I hate hunters!"

"And I hate vampires" Dean hissed back.

"What's your name?" he asked but Dean stayed silent "c'mon now, be polite."

"No manners these days" came a girls voice from above then she landed beside the male vampire "I'm Darcy" she said smiling with perfect red lips "this here is Michael" she gestured to the white skinned man "So…" she stepped forwards, her black hair falling over her eyes and shoulders "who are you?"

"Your end!" Dean swang the machete at her and she had no time to move, the blade made contact with her neck but her head did not come off, for a fact it left no mark on her. The machete however was in pieces. "Oh shit!"

"Oh shit indeed" Michael said grabbing Dean with ice cold hands that froze Dean's skin "that's my mate, that is" he said revelling his fangs "Lucky she's got an stone neck" his lips brushed over Dean's neck, sucking on his pounding pulse "Can't say the same for you."

"Guess it's my unlucky day" Dean quipped "hope I taste good."

Michael pulled back, staring at Dean through crimson eyes "Guess so" a devilish smirk played on the vampire's face and Dean felt his heart beat faster. He didn't want to die; not now death was breathing down his neck.

"I love the sound of a heart beating" said Darcy in her sweet voice "Love to hear the last beat" her fingers ran up Dean's back and through his hair. "Any last wishes?"

"Yeah" he said, closing his eyes and preparing for death "go to hell!" the next thing Dean heard was laughter then he was tossed, like he weighed nothing, through the air. He crashed down on the hard wet earth and the world around him spun, the trees, the grass and the sky all became one image, and he swore he saw stars. The pain in his head and body was unbearable and he must have fallen far, but how? Vampires were strong, yes, but not that strong. Right? Then again, he was lying on the ground in a puddle of mud with a blinding headache and the world was spinning way too fucking fast.

He closed his eyes and took in deep breaths, he had to get out of here, he couldn't fight these vampires, not like this anyway. Well not at all actually. So he took deep breaths and willed the world to stop spinning and when he opened his eyes it had and he saw Michael and Darcy staring at him, but they wont actually looking at him, more like looking past him. With all his strength, Dean turned his head to see what they were looking at and his jaw hit the floor. Edward Cullen was standing no more then six feet away; he stood tall, chest pushed out and chin held high.

Dean felt a smile grace his face at the sight of him. He went to stand up when the world started spinning and the trees, sky and ground decided to mingle together again but even as the mass of colours passed him by Edward was still visible. Dean went to walk forwards but the darkness took over and the last thing he saw was Edward Cullen running towards him.

**XoXoXoX**

When Dean woke he had a pounding headache and the beeping of a monitor was only adding to it. He groaned in pain, his head hurt, his back hurt, hell everything hurt, but why did everything hurt? What had he done? He tried to think back but it hurt way to much to think and he found himself burring his head in his pillow and wishing the fucking lights would just turn off. Actually what he wanted most was for the fog in his head to clear so he could remember what he had done to end up here.

He had to think, had to remember. He pushed passed the pain and searched his cloudy mind for the missing pieces. Images danced behind his eyes, images of a forest, a diner, a motel room then an image of a young man appeared and he was left breathless and he was sure the monitor was going off. As the image of the young man became clearer a name popped into Dean's head. A name that he wanted to say over and over but was afraid too. As soon as he remembered Edward Cullen's name all the missing pieces came back.

And his puzzle was built.

He opened his eyes and sat up, not caring that the light beaming down on him hurt his head more then being beaten unconscious. He looked around the small dull room, half expecting to see Edward, but he was alone. He had to find him though, hell he could be hurt. He'd… he'd saved Dean. Whatever the hell he had been hunting had attacked Dean and Edward come out of nowhere and saved him. How did he do it? He was only a kid and he had them shaking in their boots or was Edward not just a kid? Dean felt his head pound, there were too many question racing around his head. He had to just breathe and focus on one thought, not a million.

"Well Mr Walker I see you're awake."

Dean jumped in surprise then turned to face a pale skinned man with white blonde hair and the same golden eyes as Edward.

"Sorry" he apologised, voice so smooth and soothing to his ears "I'm Doctor Cullen-"

"-Edward's father?" Dean shook his head and composed himself "I mean are you Edward's father?"

"Ah… yes I am" he replied, giving a brief nod "do you know him?"

"No… well ah… sorta" Dean said stumbling on his words "we've met."

"Small town" he smiled "everyone knows everyone around here" he walked towards Dean, a black clipboard in hand "so how are you feeling?"

"Head hurts like hell" he admitted "otherwise I'm ok."

"Can you tell me where you live?" he asked "name and age."

"Dean Winchester" he said "don't really have a home" he said and he never said that, what was happening? Ever since he arrived here in Forks he kept spilling all his secrets. "I'm travelling, that's why."

"And no place better to see then Forks" he said laughing a musical laugh "do you know your age?"

"Twenty-five" he said, "Look Doc, I'm fine, so can I go?"

"You took quiet a fall" he said shinning a torch in Dean's eyes and Dean didn't even need to be told what do to, he'd done this one too many times. "But I don't see why not" he stepped back and smiled "do you remember what happened to you?"

_I was hunting something big and nasty and your son saved me._ "No."

"A ranger found you and it appears you fell from a tree," he said but Dean could see the lie in his eyes and hear it in his tone "You have quite a few bruises and a small concussion but you should be fine."

"I'm sure I will be" he said dryly "Well thanks Doc, but I got lots to see and a hospital wasn't on the list."

"Of course" he stepped back "I'll give you some privacy" he turned and walked out of the room, shutting the door softly behind him.

Dean let out a deep breathe and ran his hand through his hair then looked up the ceiling "God, what the fuck is happening to me?"

**XoXoXoX**

Dean stared out at Fork's High school and watched as the kids poured out, but he was just looking for one. He watched the many faces but none of them belonged to Edward. He'd done some digging after he left the hospital, snooped around until he found where Edward went to school and where he lived. The perks of being a hunter. But what Dean found was very little, only an address to a house that was out of town, located in the forest, and his school. He found nothing else after that, no hospital stays, no fines, nothing. So either Edward was squeaky clean with a great immune system or something else was going on.

Yeah, something else was going on.

Like why had Edward been in the woods? And at the perfect time, not to mention how did he make the vampires leave or stop, if they were vampires, which Dean doubted now. They were far too strong and their eyes were so red and their speed? Where did they get that? Either they were vampires on steroids or something else completely. Whatever the hell they were Dean was going to kill them, what Dean wanted to know more though was, what the hell was Edward.

He always seemed to come out of nowhere, not to mention the fact he had turned up in the woods and Dean was pretty sure that he hadn't been there when he arrived. So what was Edward Cullen? Superman? Spiderman? Batman? All ridiculous. Superheros weren't real; demons, vampires, werewolves and spirits were but heroes? No way. So that left Edward in the column of being normal or supernatural. And supernatural existed a lot more in Dean's life than normal.

But was he good or bad?

Everything supernatural Dean had ever met had been bad, which meant he would have to kill Edward. Which just didn't sit right with Dean. He liked Edward, which… well was crazy, because he knew nothing about him. Still it didn't change a thing. He liked Edward and it scared him. Because Dean was feeling something he'd never felt before and it felt right yet wrong and it made him happy and it made him afraid. There were way too many emotions and thoughts running through Dean at the moment.

"What are you doing here?"

Dean practically jumped out of his skin at the sound of the velvet smooth voice. He turned to face Edward, who was sitting in his passenger seat and he hadn't even noticed him open the Goddamn door. "I could you ask the same thing" he said smiling a cocky smile.

"Answer my question," he snapped, golden eyes turning dark.

"Calm down" Dean said rolling his eyes "just came to say thanks."

"For what?" he demanded.

"Savin my ass in the woods."

"I don't know what you're talking about" Edward looked to the windscreen, like he was searching for someone in the crowd.

"And I thought I was the one who hit their head" Dean quipped but Edward's eyes stayed glued to the windscreen. "Come on! You were in the woods and you saved me from the-"

"-Nothing!" he shouted, only now he looked back at Dean "I saved you from nothing!"

"Right, sure" Dean mused, "You believe that."

"I accept your thanks but it really is for nothing" he then got out the car and walked off.

Dean sighed then leant back in his seat "people in this town are warped!"

**Please review :)**


	3. Chapter 3 I’ll figure you out

**Disclaimer: some of the lines in this chapter are from the Twilight movie which (sadly) does not belong to me. **

**The truth is hiding in your eyes  
And its hanging on your tongue  
Just boiling in my blood,  
But you think that I can't see  
What kind of man that you are  
If you're a man at all  
Well, I will figure this one out on my own**

**Paramore: _Decode_ **

**Chapter III: I'll figure you out**

After a week in Forks Dean decided that he hated the rain and he hated the cold. The sky was blanketed in dark clouds everyday and when it looked like it might stop raining it would start again. Forks was a gloomy town and Dean should just leave, the vampires or whatever he was hunting hadn't been back since… _since_ Edward scared them off. Which was the main reason Dean was still in Forks, he wanted to find out who or what Edward Cullen was. He had theories but they were all ridiculous but the more he stayed in Forks the more he longed to know what Edward was. He should have guessed though, the answer had been given to him; he just chose not to see it.

He paced back and forwards in his small motel room, it was starting to make him go crazy. He was tired of the same dark wallpaper and the same stained carpet. He was tired of the rain and the cold and he was tired of playing guessing games and he was tired of waiting and expecting to see Edward again. He hadn't seen him in four days, he'd gone back to the school the next day to see if he were there but he didn't show and he hadn't been seen again. Dean had thought about going to their house, to see if he was ok, but something kept him away. A small part of him was scared to find out what Edward really was.

Dean flopped down onto his bed just as his phone rang, he answered with a bleak hello, too tired to bother with pleasantries.

'Dean!' came John Winchester's voice, 'Why haven't you finished off the vampire hunt yet?'

Dean chewed at his lip, forcing back his rage. He'd rang his father the other day, after the accident, but he never answered his cell so he left a massage. Saying that he had been hurt (but was fine) and that whatever he was hunting was not vampires. "Didn't you get my massage!"

'Yes I did' he replied 'but Dean, people are in danger and it's your job to save them!'

Dean rolled his eyes; it was his job to save everyone, his father, his brother and complete strangers. Why did he have to save them all? And why didn't his father give a shit that he had been hurt? "I don't know what they are" he mumbled, "They are strong and fast and-"

'Well if you did research like your brother you would know what they are already!'

"Don't compare me to Sam!" Dean shouted, "He left this family! I didn't! I do what you asked of me and I never asked for anything in return, I just give and give and you take and take! And I've had enough" he lowered his voice "I'm staying in Forks for awhile, the vamp- whatever they are have gone but they might come back so I should be waiting."

'I'm sorry son' he replied, 'I'm just stressed out with this job.'

"I hear ya."

'Be safe Dean and I'll ring Bobby and see what he can find out for you.'

"Ok" he sighed "Thanks."

'I'll call in a few days to see how you're going, ok?'

"Ok, we'll talk soon" he didn't wait for a reply; he just hung up the phone and dropped it down beside him. He wished he could ask his father about Edward, ask if he were anything unnatural but the thing was, if Edward happened to be unnatural then his father would order Dean to kill him and he didn't want that. He wanted Edward to be normal but a little voice told him that he wasn't but he didn't listen to what else it had to say.

He would not open his eyes and see Edward for what he was.

**XoXoXoX**

The forests in Forks were certainly something to see. They large trees touched the sky and the lush green grass swayed in the gently breeze that blew in the higher parts of the mountains. That's where Dean sat, somewhere high above Forks in a meadow that was blanketed in flowers and lush grass and the smell of rain hung in the air. The sun was shinning brightly, lighting up the large meadow and chasing away the shadows made by the trees. It felt nice to have the sun beam down, to feel its heat warm his cold body.

He lay back down on the grass, eyes tracing the dark clouds that would soon hide the sun. It was so peaceful here, he was away from everyone and everything, he could think here. He could breathe. Forks was truly beautiful, the large forest and mountains were a sight to see. But the beauty of Forks was not the reason Dean stayed. He stayed, _he waited_, for Edward to return, and then he'd figure him out. He just needed to see him again, needed more puzzle pieces to build with.

Then the truth would unfold.

**XoXoXoX**

Three more days passed and the rain had yet to stop and Edward had not returned. Dean sat on the bed, staring out the window and half expecting to see Edward walk through the car park and to his door. He wished he could clear his mind, wished he could just think of something other then Edward but whenever he tried his thoughts went straight back to the pale skinned man. He watched the rain pour down, heard the thunder roar in the sky and it wasn't long until he couldn't even see out the window. He peeled his eyes away from it then, looking back down at the local paper, there had been no more attacks and whatever had attacked Dean was gone.

He'd gotten a phone call from Bobby a few days before; he'd said that maybe Dean was dealing with a possession. Which was crazy, since when did demons feel like ice and have crimson coloured eyes. But the world was full of evil beings and maybe these demons were rare, which wasn't a good thing, since Dean and Bobby had no idea how to kill them. But for now the people of Forks were safe and it wasn't thanks to Dean, no, it was thanks to Edward. But he was not admitting to being the hero.

Dean bit his lip hard to force his mind to think of anything but Edward. But it was no use; he kept thinking of him, seeing his smile, his eyes. God this was insane, Dean was going insane and he had to leave Forks but he couldn't bring himself to. He had to figure Edward out; he had to know the truth, even if it killed him. Which, well, in Dean style life, would most likely do just that. But sometimes it hurt to know the truth and he knew Edward was keeping something from him and he would find out what.

Dean looked up from the local newspaper then got off his bed, heading to the small kitchen. He had only walked a few feet when he heard a knock on the door. He looked at the door with suspicion, years of being a hunter making him alert to any unseen dangers. He took a tentative step towards the door when a voice as smooth as velvet took away his senses. He didn't bother with precaution now, he ran towards the door and swung it open, there stood Edward Cullen.

"Why haven't you left yet?" he demanded, his golden eyes darker then usual.

"Was I supposed to?" Dean asked, pushing away his confusion and putting on a poker face.

"It's dangerous here" he said pushing past Dean with little effort then turning to face him in one swift movement "You know what, I am, so just go! I will do no harm to others as long as you leave."

Dean stared at Edward through wide eyes "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Edward went to speak but then he froze, his face set in an unreadable mask "Ok, my mistake" he looked away then.

"What I do know though is your hiding something from me" Dean slammed the door shut and walked passed Edward and into the kitchen "I also know you saved my ass the other day."

"I was not there," he hissed.

"Oh yes you were" Dean switched the jug on then turned back around "I'll make you a deal, I'll give you my sappy, crappy life story if you give me yours."

Edward turned to face Dean, his mouth pursed "I cant, damnit!" he shouted. His shoulder sagged and he ran his hand over his face "Look I'm sorry I'm being rude all the time it's just..." he trailed off.

"Just what?" Dean demanded "You have some big bad secret that will get me into some trouble, maybe even killed, huh?"

Edward took a moment to steady himself before replying "I… I think you should leave!"

"Sorry" Dean said grabbing a mug from the cupboard "Not going anywhere!"

"Why?" he asked through gritted teeth.

"Because I want to figure you out," he said with his famous cocky grin.

"Well I hope you enjoy disappointment" he swivelled around then walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Dean stared at the closed door until he heard the jug click off. He poured himself a hot coffee then walked back to his bed, sitting down next the paper. He stared out the window, almost expecting to see Edward watching him through it, or hiding somewhere near by so he could jump out and surprise Dean again. Dean knew he shouldn't trust Edward, he was lying to Dean and he was most definitely hiding something from him and it was something big, Dean could feel it.

Dean took a sip of his steaming coffee and an idea came to mind, oh yes, he knew exactly how to get his answers.

**XoXoXoX**

Dean surveyed the busy pub from his seat at the bar, there were some rough bikers playing pool and some couples sitting at the booths. Dean studied the big bald man carefully, he looked ridiculous in his tight jeans, white shirt and black jacket but Dean could tell by the look in his eyes that he was not to be messed with. But Dean intended to do just that. He took a swig from his beer then spun back around to face the bar, a young red hair girl was surveying, she occasionally glanced at Dean, a smile on her face. Dean smiled back and once he would have loved to flirt but that was before Edward came into his life.

He turned back around and headed towards the pool table, he sized each of the men up. They were all solid and it he wouldn't be able to take them on his own but he wouldn't have to, not if his plan worked. He made himself known by calling loudly to the leader then bumping one of the players who were about to make a shot.

"Sorry" he apologised "came to see if you wanted to have a game."

The leader eyed Dean with caution then gave a curt nod "Let him play boys."

Dean returned the nod and the game was on.

**XoXoXoX**

Dean fell to the ground with a heavy thud; he coughed and sputtered while taking numerous kicks to the ribs. It had only taken an hour and a half to piss off the bikers enough to start a fight. He'd been kicked out of the bar by the owner, yelling "meet me round the corner and we'll finish this" over his shoulder. Now he lay face first in the mud beside some bar in the middle of Forks on a fucking cold rainy night and he was trying to fight off five guys and he was losing. Big time. But he just had to hold on and Edward would come, he would come.

_He hoped._

He was hauled to his feet by the man named Jack and the leader, Vin, laid into him, each punch hitting a different part of his body causing a world of pain. Dean forced back the cries of pain and struggled to get free of their strong grip. He thought he wasn't going to make it out of this when the hits stopped and he was thrown sideways, hitting the wet ground hard. He opened his eyes to see a car, the beaming headlights blocking his view of the driver. He was then hauled to his feet again and before he knew it he was staring out a windscreen and watching the cars fly passed.

He fought off the darkness and turned to face the driver. His pale skin and gold eyes an immediate give away. He smiled softly at the sight, it had worked, he had come. He watched Edward for a while longer, letting the pain ease and the darkness disappear. His eyes were glued to the road, eyes shinning bright in the traffic lights.

"You could have been killed!" Edward finally said.

"They weren't going to kill me" Dean replied weakly.

"You don't know the vile, repulsive things they were thinking" he hissed, eyes now on Dean's face.

"And you do?"

"It's not hard to guess" Edward looked away "Can you talk about something else? Distract me so I won't turn around."

"You should get some meds to control your rage."

"You should get some meds to control your stupidity," he said with a dry laugh.

"I'm not stupid" Dean said with a smile playing on his features "just crazy."

Edward chuckled again "crazy is the right word."

Silence then fell over the car; Dean watched the lights fly by as his mind worked hard on the puzzle that was Edward Cullen. He managed to think straight for a while but soon the fog came then the darkness took him and the last thing he saw were the lonely roads that led through the forest.

**XoXoXoX**

Dean woke to the sound of the rain pouring down; a distant echo of thunder could be heard over the heavy rain. Dean groaned in pain, wincing as he moved to a sitting position. He looked around the dark motel room, the curtains were drawn and he lay under the cover. He noted that he was wearing sweat pants and a t-shirt, had Edward changed his clothes. Dean suddenly looked up his eyes searching for the pale young man. He studied each part of the room carefully, as though Edward could be missed easily.

He was alone in the darkness.

"Damnit!" Dean pulled the covers off then gently swung his legs over the edge, wincing as he did so. He was about to stand when the door opened and Edward walked in, a coffee in one hand and a brown paper bag in the other. He turned to face Dean, giving him a look that said "get your ass back in bed" and Dean didn't dare disobey. But he never disobeyed, because he was a fucking loyal soldier.

Edward walked to Dean and handed him the coffee and dropped the bag onto the nightstand. He turned around and paced forwards then turned back and sat himself down on the bed next to Dean. Dean stared at Edward silently, waiting to see if he would talk. He took a sip of the hot coffee and it was just how he liked it but how did Edward know that? Dean narrowed his eyes at the young man, he was full of secrets and Dean was walking on a dangerous road.

"You gave me a false last name" Edward said, eyes as black as night "or was your ID fake."

Dean gaped at Edward "what are you on about?"

"You gave my father the last name Walker," he said "and you gave me the last name Winchester. So did you lie to me?"

"No" Dean said firmly "The ID on me was fake."

"How come?" his eyes seemed to lighten, becoming closer to the gold Dean knew.

"Long story."

"I'm a good listener."

Dean looked away, mulling over what Edward had said, did he tell his sappy life story to someone he barely knew or put on his mask and say nothing. "I don't want to tell it."

"You're keeping something from me" he said tersely.

"Excuse me!" Dean roared, "You're the one who's keeping something!"

Edward glared at Dean through black eyes "We shouldn't be friends" he stood abruptly.

"It's a little late for that" Dean said calmly.

Edward stuck his pale hands into his jacket and sighed "It's not safe Dean" he then once again pulled his disappearing act leaving Dean alone in the dark.

**Please leave a review :) **


	4. Chapter 4 Even if it Kills Me

**Disclaimer: Some of the lines are from Twilight and do not belong to me and I just couldn't resist using them but they are they work of someone else**

**Somehow everything's gonna fall right into place  
if we only had a way to make it all fall faster everyday  
if only time flew like a dove  
we gotta make it fly faster than I'm falling in love**

**Paramore: ****_Hallelujah_**

**Chapter IV: Even if it Kills Me**

Sometimes sleep just never comes, sometimes you can spend hours on hours staring up the ceiling or at a blank wall. Sometimes when sleep doesn't come you think about things that you haven't thought of in a while. You let your mind wander to closed doors and you finally look behind them and all those thoughts and memories you tried so hard to lock away come pouring out. But sometimes when sleep doesn't come you find truths, and they scare you but only because you've never dared to do something for yourself. You unlocked the door to your rage, your sorrow and now you want to make it go away but there is only one way to do so. It means doing something that you know, without a doubt, is going to end in trouble but this isn't just about you anymore.

It's about him to.

You have a desire to figure him out, to break all rules and forget all logic and just see him for who he really is. But logic never really applied for you anyway but rules, _rules_ did and if you are to figure him out all rules must be broken. You know it won't take one night to solve this puzzle, it will take some time and thought but you don't have the time. You know if you stay too long you will be ordered away, on some new hunt, protecting some stupid person or family who know nothing about you and you'll never see them again. That is how this job should have been, come to town, kill the threat then leave town. Never to be seen again.

You met him though, his golden eyes hypnotizing you and you fell under his spell. You close your eyes and you see his face and hear his voice in the silent hours. You can't escape these feelings and you don't want to run from them, you can't bring yourself to. Your being pulled into something big and it scares and excites you. A new adventure is unfolding, secrets and lies are your roads and the truth is your palace that awaits you. But on this adventure truth is not the only thing to be found.

Dean rolled over onto his side and stared out at the dark sky, the moon just visible through the gap in the curtains. He closed his eyes, his thoughts had collided and he felt exhausted and he longed for the peace sleep brought. He took a few shallow breaths and he fell into his dreams.

**XoXoXoX**

When morning came Dean found himself wishing for the night to return so he could sleep some more. He didn't want to face the day, didn't want to be ordered and dragged around. He just wanted to return to his dreams, _return to him_. Dean's eyes fluttered open, the fogginess of sleep clearing, he was not going to be ordered around today. He was in the gloomy town known as Forks and his father, well his father was God knows' where. It didn't matter though, he was not here, and Dean was free to do as he wished.

And he wished to go find Edward and demanded some answers. Like how did he get to Dean so fast in the forest? How exactly did he know where to find Dean last night? Why were his eyes gold and his skin so white? Why did he disappear for so long? So many questions to be asked, but he found it hard to get the truth out of Edward. Maybe, _maybe_ he was hiding something bad, some deep, dark secret that should never be told. But the more Dean wondered what it was the more he wished to know it.

Edward's secret couldn't be as bad as Dean's. Right? Surely his mother was not killed by some yellow-eye demon and surely, _hopefully,_ he father was not an obsessed bastard. No, he'd met Edward's father, he was a doctor and he seemed a good man, but we all held secrets behind closed doors. Dean wished to unlock Edward's doors, to see what secrets he held inside, but would his curiosity get him killed?

**XoXoXoX**

"There you go Dean."

Dean looked up to see Julie, the diner's lovely owner "Thanks" he took a sip of his coffee, savouring the flavour.

"So hun" she placed a napkin down beside him "what has brought you to Forks? You're certainly staying awhile."

"I like it here" he said smiling up at her "Very nice people, very homey."

She smiled brightly at him "Where are you staying? If I may ask."

"Pine Forest motel."

"Well if you want, I mean if you're staying longer, I have a cabin at the edge of the forest and its up for rent but I'd be honoured if you'd stay there, while you're here."

"Well that's really kind" Dean said scratching the back of his neck "I… I'd love to but I don't want to be any trouble."

"Not at all dear" she said, placing her small hand on his arm and giving it a gently squeeze "Its all furnished and has a fireplace."

"Sounds wonderful."

"I have my lunch break in no more then a minute, I'll take you out there and show it to you, ok?"

"Ok" he said nodding "and thanks, so much."

"Anytime" she then turned around, leaving Dean to his thoughts.

Dean sighed heavily, he had no idea how long he would stay in Forks but he was tired of motels and hard beds. He could move into the cabin and stay here for a month or so, maybe get a job and… then what? Stop hunting, find himself a wife and have some kids while a demon war raged on. He couldn't do that, it wasn't him, but he couldn't leave either. Not until he knew the truth about Edward Cullen.

"You ready hun?"

Dean snapped out of his thoughts and looked up at Julie "Ready."

**XoXoXoX**

Dean lent against the Impala, Forks High School stood before him, the car park now filled with kids and Edward stood watching him from a distance. Four other people, whom Dean guessed to be his adoptive siblings, surrounded him. While Julie showed Dean the cabin he had asked about Edward and she'd told him that he and his family had moved here from Alaska a few years ago. He had two sisters, Rosalie and Alice and two brothers, Emmet and Jasper all the adopted children of Carlisle and Esme Cullen.

Edward talked to a blonde haired girl, her skin as white as snow, just like Edward's, the other three all had the same white skin and Dean now knew that the secret Edward held was not just his own. It was a silly thought, but Dean knew their too white skin was not because of the near constant cloud cover.

Edward left the blonde and started to walk towards Dean, his walk soft and graceful. Dean straightened up, feeling like a slouch compared to Edward. He braced himself, taking in a deep breath; he was about to get some answers. One way or another. Edward suddenly stopped walking and before Dean could wonder why his cell rang.

"Hello."

'Son I need you in Oakridge."

"Dad I'm busy here" Dean replied, feeling disappointed by the news.

'Son there is something big happening here.'

"Can't you get Bobby?"

'He's busy finding out what your hunting not to mention working his own gig!'

Dean sighed heavily "Fine, fine, I'll be there as soon as I can."

'No, leave right now and get here.'

Dean clenched his free hand into a fist and the other tightened around the phone "Dad… dad I can't do this" his shoulders slumped "I have to stay here in Forks."

'Damnit Dean, why?'

"It's complicated."

'I don't care' he hissed into the phone 'give me an answer or I'll come and get you and drag you here.'

"Then you're gonna have to do that" Edward's eyes were piecing Dean's, he stood just out of ears shot "I'm staying in Forks!" he then hung up the phone, taking deep breaths to calm himself. He stuffed his phone back into his pocket and when he looked up Edward was walking towards him again, at a faster pace now.

He stopped in front of Dean, he was shorter then Dean but he dominated Dean with eyes not his height.

Edward looked passed Dean, staring at the Impala with an impressed smile "67 Chevy Impala, nice choice."

"Yeah she's a real beauty" Dean said turning to face her and forgetting for one moment that Edward was a puzzle he was trying to figure out.

"Let's go for a drive" it was not a question but a statement.

"Yeah ok" Dean said. He walked to the car and climbed in. He turned to face Edward who was studying the interior with great interest. Dean smirked then turned the key and the engine roared to life and Led Zeppelin played softly in the background. The tyres spun as Dean pulled out of the parking space and tore off in the direction of the cabin.

They stayed in silence for most of the trip, the forest passing by in a mass of colours. Dean occasionally stole a glance at Edward, he wore an unreadable mask. Dean shifted uncomfortably in his seat; he could hear his heart pounding in his ears and feel it beat harshly against his chest. He felt nervous but at the same time ready for answers. Ready for the truth. He would get it out of Edward, one way or another. The truth was hard to find but the secret Edward kept hidden was worth patience, but Dean had very little of that and he wanted answers, to ease his own mind.

"What's in Oakridge?" Edward asked before Dean could speak.

"How'd you know about that? Dean asked. How did he know about that? He had been too far away to hear Dean's conversation with his father, unless he had super hearing? Which in Dean's world might just be true.

"You didn't answer my question." Edward said tersely.

"Well, you don't answer any of mine! I mean, you don't even say hi to me," he said pulling over to the side of the road.

Edward looked away then back "Hi."

Dean exhaled a sigh "My father's in Oakridge."

"Ok" He seemed to stretch out the word "So are you leaving?"

"I don't know," he said, staring down at Edward "would it make you happy if I did?"

"Look I'm sorry about what I said the other day" he sighed heavily "I only said it would be better if we weren't friends, not that I didn't want to be."

"What does that mean?"

"It means if you were smart… you'd stay away from me.

Dean chuckled bitterly "Well if you want smart then you're lookin at the wrong guy."

"Are you ever serious?" he demanded.

"I'll be serious if you give me some answers."

"Yes. No. To get to the other side. Uh, 1.77245…"

"I want answer's not a fucking headache" Dean growled.

"I'd rather hear your theories."

"Your superman?"

"No."

"Batman?"

"No."

"Spiderman?"

"No."

"Catwoman?" he smirked.

Edward cracked a smile "That's all superhero stuff, right?" he said and Dean nodded "what if I'm not the hero? What if I'm… the bad guy?"

Dean smiled "you're not, believe me, you're not."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I know good when I see it."

Edward sighed, "You didn't put much thought into your theories."

Dean laughed, "No, no I didn't… but I do have other theories."

"And they are?"

Dean went to reply when the sound of AC/DC came blasting from his phone "I gotta get this, excuse me" he pulled the phone out and answered with an irritated hello.

'Don't be shitty at me boy' came Bobby Singer's gruff voice 'I found out some stuff for ya.'

"Uh" he turned to face Edward who was staring at him through his gorgeous gold eyes "I'll be back in a few ok, stay in the car." Dean opened the door, the hinges squeaking loudly. He shut the door and walked towards a fallen log, the cold wind blow the leaves from the trees and bushes. Dean sat down on log and stared at the car, Edward stared out at the winding road ahead.

"Ok what do you have Bobby?" he asked, trying to focus.

'The things you were hunting were vampires' he said hastily 'they are just very old, centuries old and when they live that long they gain speed, strength and can't be killed like young vampires.'

Dean looked up at Edward, a sick feeling twisting in his gut "skin as white as snow and cold as ice?"

'Yep.'

"Gold eyes?"

'When they feed their eyes are gold, yes, but when the are angry they are dark and when they are hungry red.'

Dean swallowed the dry lump in his throat "are they territorial?"

'Some are, some aren't' he said and Dean could picture him shrugging 'If they have picked a permanent address then yes they are.'

Dean felt his heart beat faster "and vampires hear real good as well right? Have good eye sight and smell, yeah?"

'That they do.'

Dean gripped the phone tight "Thanks Bobby, I appreciate this."

'No worries' he said 'do you need a hand with it?'

Dean narrowed his eyes and took in Edward, his white skin; his gold eyes "Nah, I got it."

'Ok, well then see ya.'

"Yeah, see ya Bobby" Dean hung up the phone and walked back to the car, he could see Edward watching him, his eyes following every move he made. Dean could tell by the look on Edward's face that he knew what Dean had just been told. So he looked away and held his head high and back straight and he crossed the road and headed into the forest.

He stormed through the forest, stepping over fallen logs and rocks and making sure to avoid holes. He ducked and weaved under branches, the forest was so lush and green, the flowers were in bloom and there were animals scattered all over the forest floor but he was not sightseeing. He could hear Edward behind him, walking only a few feet away but no one spoke. Dean couldn't believe what he had heard, he'd thought of Edward being something supernatural but he wished, _God he wished_ it weren't true.

Why did his life always evolve around the unnatural and why did Edward have to be a… a vampire? Why did Dean have to long for him so much? It was all fucked and Dean had just revealed Edward's secret and he could very well be walking to his death but he didn't care. As long as Edward was here with him, he bit back a laugh, he longed for a vampire, a male fucking vampire and this was really fucked.

Dean came to a sudden stop in a clearing; the treetops grew together above Dean's head, forming a roof "How old are you?" he asked, chest heaving from rage and nerves.

"Seventeen" Edward replied.

"How long have you been seventeen" he tried to keep his voice even and strong.

"A while."

Dean took in a deep breath, why did this have to be true? "I know what you are."

"Say it!" he growled into Dean's ear "Out loud."

"Vampire…"

**Once again please review :) **


	5. Chapter 5 My Thoughts You Can’t Decode

**Disclaimer: Once again I took some lines from Twilight and they do not belong to me (if they did there would be no need for this story because this story would be the actual movie lol)**

**Take my hand  
I give it to you  
Now you own me  
All I am  
you said you would never leave me  
I believe you  
I believe**

**Flyleaf: **_**All Around Me**_

**Chapter V: My Thoughts You Can't Decode**

Dean could feel his heart beating fast, his mind was a whirlwind of thoughts. He had no idea what to do, what to think, his thoughts collided and nothing made sense. He heard a voice, his father's voice, it shouted at him, told him to kill Edward, he was dangerous. _He was a vampire_. But another voice told him that if Edward wanted him dead he would be, here they were in the middle of nowhere and yet Dean still breathed. Edward didn't want him dead. He _was a vampire_. Dean took a deep breath to calm his pounding heart, he tried to clear his mind but the thoughts just kept coming. Screaming at him to kill Edward, screaming at him not to kill Edward, screaming for him to run and leave Forks and forget Edward Cullen.

_He was a vampire._

He couldn't leave though, his thoughts screamed order after order, each more confusing then the other. But he stayed still. He could feel Edward's breath on his neck, he stood shorter then Dean though, the ground must dip he decided. But he had more worrying things to think then whether the fucking ground dipped. Edward was a vampire and Dean was infatuated with him.

"Are you afraid?"

Dean's thoughts came to a halt when Edward spoke. Dean straightened and turned to face Edward, he stood at his height, the ground did dip. He stared into Edward's eyes, searching for a reason to be afraid, a reason to kill him but he could not see one. "No…"

"You should be" Edward said resentfully.

"I should be afraid of a lot of things but I'm not" a smirk played on his features and Edward scowled at him.

"Be serious!" he shouted, the words echoed around the forest, repeating until they were just a distant echo. "I'm the world's most dangerous predator. Everything about me invites you in" he ran his ice cold hand over Dean's cheek "My voice, my face… even my smell. As if I would need any of that" he turned away after that then disappeared in a blur of colour, only to reappear by Dean's side. "As if you could outrun me" he disappeared again. Dean tried to follow him with his eyes but he was to fast. "As if you could fight me off."

Dean turned to face Edward who stood near a tall tree, he kicked the tree and it fell over, a loud crash filled the air. Edward then disappeared again then reappeared before Dean "I'm designed to kill."

"I don't care" Dean whispered and it was barely audible but Edward could hear it anyway.

"I'm a monster Dean!"

"No, you're not" Dean said and he didn't even need to think about it, "I've seen monsters… evil and you are anything but that."

Edward sighed angrily "I've killed people Dean."

"Yeah, well, so have I."

"I wanted to kill you."

"I've heard that before" he grinned.

"I can't make you see me for what I really am, can I?" he asked bleakly.

"No."

"Then ask me the most basic question, what do we eat?"

"Actually you don't eat" Dean said softly "You drink blood… human blood."

"You know this and you're still not afraid?" he asked slightly confused.

"I know a lot" Dean looked away "I'm a hunter."

Edward cupped Dean's chin in the crook of his fingers and titled his head up so he'd face him "Then you should do the right thing and kill me."

"No!" Dean pulled away "no."

"Why not?" he shouted, "You know what I am now! I'm a monster! I've killed people! So kill me!"

"I kill too, Edward" Dean said gradually "I kill all sorts of things and somewhere along the way I lost myself" he paused "and I didn't care who or what I killed and I've made mistakes and I wish, God I wish I could take them back… but I can't… so from where I stand, I'm more of the monster than you."

Edward shook his head furiously "You're not!"

"If I'm not then you're not" Dean pressed.

"Why won't you believe or accept me for the monster that I am!"

"Because I don't see a monster Edward," he replied, "I've looked evil in the eye and when I look at you… I don't see it."

Edward looked away then looked back at Dean "Will nothing I do or say make you afraid of me?"

"Nothing will change my mind" Dean said firmly.

Edward nodded again, a small smile gracing his face "I shouldn't have come to see you at the diner, I should have stayed away… I never should of put you in harms way-"

"Harms way follows me everywhere" Dean said tentatively reaching out for Edward's hand.

"I should leave now" he said taking Dean's hand into his marble stone one "But I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore."

"Then don't" Dean whispered.

Edward laughed softly "so the lion fell in love with the lamb."

"I'm not a lamb" Dean grinned "more like the lion fell in love with the zebra."

Edward chuckled softly "so the lion fell in with the zebra."

"What a stupid zebra."

"What a sick, masochistic lion."

**XoXoXoX**

Night found Dean and Edward sitting in front of the fireplace in the bedroom. The room was lit with a warm glow and Edward and Dean sat in silence watching the red and organ flames dance. They sat a few feet apart, Edward too afraid to move to close and Dean to unsure of what to do. He'd never had these feelings before. He had no idea what to say or do and it was silly because Dean always knew what to say and do but right now, he had no idea. His mind was once again a whirlwind of thoughts, but it was not screaming at him. Just telling him that Edward, _Edward_ was right here, just a few feet away and if he reached out he could touch him.

Dean stole a glance at Edward; the flames from the fire reflected in his eyes making them look brighter then ever. His skin looked so smooth and soft under the low glow, smooth like merble. He sat still, like a statue, a _perfect_ statue. Dean smiled then without realising it he scooted closer to him but Edward didn't move, just gazed intently into the fire.

"Is there something you want to ask?" Edward spoke, his voice cutting through the silence like a knife.

"Did you follow me the other night?" Dean asked "to the bar."

"I" Edward looked at Dean now, his eyes locked with Dean's "I feel very protective of you."

"So you followed me?"

"I was trying to keep a distance unless you needed my help and then I heard what those low-lives were thinking-"

"So what, you're a mind a reader?"

"I can read everyone's mind in the whole world" he looked down, ashamed.

"Including mine?" there was irritation in Dean's tone.

"Sometimes" he said looking up "I find you hard to read, your thoughts are jumbled and I miss them… and it… it frustrates me."

"Is there something wrong with me?"

"See… I tell you I can read minds and you think there's something wrong with you?" he said trying to suppress a laugh but failing.

"Well I've suffered a lot of head trauma, could that be why?"

Edward laughed loudly "No, I don't think so."

"Then what?"

"I don't know" he said, the laughter gone and his serious expression back "but I can chose not to read people's mind and if you'd like I won't pry into yours even though it's tempting."

"Because it's hard to read?"

"Yes and… I can't figure you out."

"Then just ask" Dean said with a hint of a smile.

"Why are you a hunter?"

Dean looked towards the fire, hiding his grief stricken eyes "when I was four my mother was killed by a demon… the Yellow-Eyed demon to be exact" Dean paused to swallow the dry lump in his throat "He was in my brothers nursery and mum walked in and… I heard her scream and I got out of bed and I ran to her… Dad gave Sam to me and told me to run outside but not before I saw her…" he paused to wipe angrily at his eyes "she was pinned to the ceiling, burning" hatred tainted to his voice "she was still alive, her stomach had been ripped open and she was burning but she was alive… and I couldn't save her… dad couldn't save her" he forced back a sob, a single tear sneaking a path down his face "she didn't deserve to die!"

Dean glanced at Edward from the corner of his eyes then a split second later he was gone, he turned back to face the fire only to find Edward sitting before him. He placed his hands on Dean's, which rested on his knees "I'm sorry Dean" carefully he brings his other hand up to Dean's face and sweeps a calloused thumb over a tear as it runs down his cheek. "I wish I had the words to make the pain go away."

"I don't need words" Dean whispered "I just need you here… you make me feel human."

Edward chuckled softly "Amazing how it takes a vampire to make someone feel human."

Dean chuckled softly then wiped away his tears and put back on his poker face "Enough of the chick flick moments."

Edward laughed, "Ok, ok, so what do you want to do?"

"Tell me more."

"About?"

"Being the undead."

"It's not all that" he replied soberly.

"Well what about you're family" he hedged "why do you hunt animals rather then people."

"I don't want to be a monster."

"So you hunt…?

"Mountain lion" he answered promptly "and other things."

"Does it satisfy you?"

"Not as much as drinking human blood" he pulled away from Dean, moving back a few inches "We consider ourself vegetarians, little inside joke, but drinking animal blood is not enough, it sustains us but it's like living on tofu, you're never really satisfied."

Dean nodded then looked down "why did you hate me so much at first?"

"I did," he said with a nod "But only for making me want you so much."

"So do I smell good to you?" he looked up with a grin and wiggled his eyebrows.

"You smell so good to me and it's hard to resist you… but I couldn't live without you, that's what keeps me from crossing the line."

"I told Sammy I was irresistible!"

"Sammy's your younger brother, right?"

"Yeah."

"Why is he not with you? If it kills you to know he's not safe."

Dean frowned at Edward "did you take that from my head?"

"Uh… no" Edward looked away sheepishly "I heard you mumbling in your sleep, you were having a nightmare about someone hunting him."

"So it was you in my room" Dean said, relieved yet irritated. "How long have you been doing that?"

"A while."

"That's creepy."

"I apologise."

"Accepted."

Edward smiled his dazzling smile "so where is Sam?"

"College" Dean murmured, "Went to Stanford to become a big shot lawyer."

"And you don't have a desire to do something else?"

"The hunt is my life" Dean stood abruptly "My father needs me and I wont leave him like Sam."

"But shouldn't your dreams count?" Edward asked standing up after him "it's your life Dean, not your father's, not Sam's, just yours."

Dean turned to face Edward "I know… but the hunt is all I have… all I know."

"It doesn't have to be the only thing."

"I don't need to go to college though or get a fancy job or a flashy house I just need… what I have now" he placed his hand on the side of Edward's face and stroked his marble cheek softly.

"I wanna try something" Edward titled his hand towards Dean's "don't move."

Dean stayed perfectly still and Edward's head titled closer and closer until their lips met in a soft short kiss. They broke apart but only for a second. The kiss was deep this time, filled with burning passion and desire. It didn't take long and their hands started to roam freely, exploring the others body. The burning kiss came to a sudden stop when Edward jumped back and screamed 'NO.' Dean stared at Edward with awe, he looked like a wild beast panting and heaving against the wall

"I can never lose control over you," he said turning away from Dean.

"Don't go" Dean called after him "stay… please."

Edward turned back to face Dean, his wild look now gone. "I don't want to hurt you."

"The only way you'll hurt me is if you leave."

Edward nodded absentmindedly "I'll stay… but I… I don't sleep."

"Ever?"

"Not since 1980."

"Wow."

"But you sleep" he announced "and you look tired."

Dean stiffened a yawn "if I sleep will you be here when I wake up?"

"Yes" he stepped closer to Dean "I promise."

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter and if you have time please let me know :) **


	6. Chapter 6 Diamond

**Tell me you're here  
That You will watch over me forever  
take hold of my heart  
Show me you'll love me forever**

**Fireflight: **_**Forever**_

**Chapter VI: Diamond**

Dean woke to the smell of coffee and bacon and eggs cooking. He sat up, eyes still half closed and groping blindly for his shirt. He pulled the black worn out shirt over his head then pulled the blankets off. He swang his legs to the side and placed his elbows on his knees, he rested his face in the palm of his hands and sighed. Another day in Forks, another rainy day in Forks but today, _today _it didn't matter that it rained a little or a lot because today, _today_ Edward was here. He knew the truth now as well, he should have suspected it but part of him hoped it wasn't true yet he didn't care. So what if Edward was a vampire. He didn't kill people and yeah, sure he was a supernatural being and Dean was a Goddamn hunter and he should kill him but he didn't hurt anyone. He didn't ask for this, he thought himself a monster when Dean could clearly see he was not.

Dean knew what monsters looked like, knew what they did, what they were capable of and Edward would never do such things. He would not willing tear a family apart; he would not kill without mercy. He was not a monster, he was not evil, he was a vampire, yes, but he had the heart of an angel. And Dean would make sure that he knew that. He would make sure Edward knew that he had saved Dean, he had been lost and lonely and then Edward walked into his life, brightening it up and showing him a whole new world.

Dean looked up, staring out at the large forest that surrounded the house Julie had let him rent. Rain splattered on the window and the leaves danced past and Dean no longer wished he could just disappear like that. It was amazing, he barely knew Edward but he felt like he had known him all his life and Dean trusted him completely. Which was rare, especially for Dean. Trust had to be earned and even then Dean still didn't trust someone but Edward he trusted, Edward he loved. Which was even stranger, because Dean didn't love but now, _now_ he knew what love was like, to truly love someone. Sure he loved Sammy and his father but this, _this _was magic.

Dean stood, stretching his back and popping numerous joints. He looked around the room; it was like nothing Dean had ever seen. It was huge, as big as the motel rooms Dean had stayed in. The bed, the bed was heaven, the mattress was soft and it didn't have the words most ugly doona cover. No, it had a black and white cover, with matching pillows and it didn't look cheap, not that Dean new anything about this sort of stuff. But he felt like he was living like a king, he had a huge window the showed off the beautiful forest and mountains.

The other side of the room featured a large couch, CD player and a door, which led to the bathroom. At the front of the room was the fireplace, where Dean and Edward had sat last night. Enjoying the warmth and the comfort they brought to each other. Dean smiled then headed out of the room. He walked out into the large lounge room, with soft couches and a TV bigger then a box, Dean really felt like a king.

Dean walked through the room, eyes glued to the kitchen. Edward was moving so fast that he was a blur to Dean, going back and forwards from the stove to the table. When Dean came to a stop so did Edward, a smile on his white, handsome face. He offered Dean a coffee, which he took without hesitation. He then gestured to the table, where a plate of bacon, eggs and toast sat awaiting to be eaten.

"Wow" Dean exclaimed, "You did all this?" he walked towards the table and took a seat Edward beating him.

"Of course."

"I didn't know vampires could cook."

"Well we don't cook but we can" he grinned.

"This is great" Dean said with a mouth full of food "don't you miss it?"

"Miss food?" he asked.

"Yeah" Dean said, swallowing his food.

"No" he shook his head "once you become a vampire… food doesn't even interest you, blood is your stable diet."

"Can you eat?"

Edward picked up Dean's toast and took a bit, swallowing before speaking "if someone asked if you could eat dirt, would you?"

"I have" he said "wasn't nice."

"I can imagine."

Dean took a sip of his coffee "This is really good, thank you."

"It's my pleasure," he said in his velvety smooth voice "I want to show you something today."

Dean looked up from his meal "show me what?"

"You'll have to wait and see."

"Can I guess?"

"No" Edward said stiffening a laugh "You'd never guess."

**XoXoXoX**

Dean clung to Edward, his hands around his neck and his legs around his waist. They ran through the forest, at speeds not possible by any manmade machine. Dean closed his eyes, the forest moved passed too fast, becoming nothing but a blur but he didn't need to open his eyes, he trusted Edward. When Edward came to a stop Dean kept his eyes closed and his hands wrapped tightly around his neck. Edward chuckled and pulled Dean around so he was on the ground. He slowly opened his eyes and he saw Edward smiling at him with his perfect red lips.

"I want to show you something."

Dean nodded. Edward took a step back, his movements so graceful and smooth. He walked backwards, stepping out from under the trees that covered the ground in darkness. He stood in a beam of pale light when suddenly the sun shone down on him, his skin sparkled like millions of tiny diamonds were glued to his body. Dean gasped; his skin was beautiful, like nothing he had ever seen before. Edward unbuttoned his shirt, revealing his toned chest, it too sparkled like diamonds.

"Wow" Dean said in awe "Your skin… it's like diamonds" the words he spoke were dumb but he was lost for words; dazzled by Edward's beauty "You're beautiful."

Edward rolled his eyes "This is the skin of a monster" he started to button up his shirt.

"You're not a monster Edward" Dean said in a no nones manner "You may be a vampire but you choose not to let it rule you and you don't drink human blood so I see no reason to label you a monster."

"Not so wise words for a hunter" he said stepping out of the sun and walking towards Dean "I am a danger to you."

"And I've told you I don't care" Dean said, grinding his teeth together, he had enough of this.

"Sorry" Edward said suddenly "I just want you to know-"

"-I know Edward" Dean said promptly "I know you're a vampire and if you smell my blood you might not be able to stop yourself but I live with danger ever day of my life and if for once danger brings happiness then I'm all for it" he paused to steady himself "I barely know you but I already know I can't live without you and I am here and I am yours and I don't care that you are not human, cause sometimes I don't feel human either."

Edward stared at Dean through golden eyes that said they understood what Dean was saying "Hang on." Edward moved in a blurred mention and flung Dean onto his back and they were off. Dean closed his eyes not wanting to see the world go by so fast, he gripped on tight and waited for Edward to come to a stop. He felt Edward jump up into the air, he gripped even tighter, he could feel Edward climbing straight up and he felt his heart race. He didn't like heights, _but he trusted Edward_.

After what felt like minutes but were only seconds Dean and Edward came to a halt. He felt Edward take him off his back and place him on something, a branch he guessed. He gripped it tight, knuckles going white but Edward still held him. He heard him chuckle and he opened his eyes, only wanting to see his face but he was faced with something so amazing. He and Edward sat high, so very high in a large pine tree that seemed to touch the sky.

He could see the many trees below him and in the distance he saw a large lake, its waters murky and dull, but the sight before him was beautiful despite the dull colours. He could see the sun shine down, the light catching Edward's skin and the diamonds were visible again. This was not the skin of a monster but the skin of Dean's saviour. _His salvation_. He watched Edward climb higher and he forgot all fears and followed him, climbing higher and higher until they came to a stop, both staring into each others eyes and no words were spoken but none were needed.

As Dean gazed into the pools of gold he felt like for once he was not frozen. No thoughts of his dark past raced around his mind and no thoughts of the orders and jobs he had to do were present. He was free, no voice was telling him what to do, no memory kept him form leaning forwards and kissing Edward and no fear kept him from loving him.

With no words spoken Dean gave his heart and soul to Edward and in return Edward gave him his life back.

**XoXoXoX**

The silver moon illuminated the bedroom, Edward's pale skin shimmered in the light and the silver reflected in his gold eyes. His ice-cold hand rested lightly on Dean's, his thumb occasionally stroking the palm of his hand. Dean stared into his eyes, the world around him disappearing and only he and Edward were left. The room was full of bliss and Dean felt… he felt human, alive, warm, he was not frozen and he was not being tormented by the memories of his haunting past. It didn't matter that the world was full of evil and was slowly coming to an end, it didn't matter that his father was an obsessed bustard and his brother abounded him, all that matter was that he had Edward.

For once in his life he felt truly happy, he felt human. He'd longed for the day that someone would hold him in their arms and show him, _tell him_, that he was not a lone. Edward's lips brushed over Dean's, his strong arms pulling him closer. Dean drank in the kiss and the moment, wishing he could just freeze it and never leave it.

He'd been searching all his life for someone to love, for someone to love him and in the gloomy town of Forks he found it. Sure Edward wasn't the most suitable lover, he was a vampire, a teenager but what did Dean care? All life brought him was pain and if for once it brought him something good, then he'd stop everything and just take it. He'd grasp it with both hands and never let go, he would treasure it while it lasted or maybe he would make sure it lasted forever. Edward sure had forever.

"Go to sleep" Edward said suddenly "I can't think straight."

"Sorry" Dean smirked "I thought you won't going to go through my thoughts?"

"I'm trying but I want to figure you out" he whispered, "They are so scrambled… always different, never making sense. It's giving me a headache."

"Dude you're like dead how do you get a headache?"

"Figure of speech."

"So my mind is driving you crazy, aye?" he asked wiggling his eyebrows knowing that Edward would see it "why do you think that is?"

"I really have no idea" he sighed "but maybe it's not me, it might… be you."

"Me?"

"Maybe you just don't know what to think or what you want so it's just a mess."

"I know what I want," Dean snorted "sometimes."

"Do you know what you want right now?" Edward asked carefully.

"I don't even need to think about that," he said sitting up, so he could look down at Edward "I want you."

Edward nodded, he was just visible in the moonlight "I've been searching for someone for so long, I've seen so many faces and had so many opportunities to find myself someone but I never felt anything…" he looked at Dean, his eyes piercing Dean's "Until I found you."

Dean smiled, his lips brushed over Edward's softly, feeling the fire that burned between them, even though they were both so cold.

**XoXoXoX**

Morning came and Dean was brought out of his peaceful sleep by the sound of someone pounding on his door. He opened his eyes to find an empty room; he sat up, not at all concerned by the person at the door. He looked around the room and Edward was nowhere to be seen. Dean shook his head to clear away the cobwebs; he might just be in the kitchen or outside. No need to panic. The banging on the door got louder and Dean grumbled them got up, pulling on a jumper, it was colder this morning.

He made his way to the front door and pulled it open, irritated by the rude visitor and the absence of Edward. However all irritation at Edward left when he opened the door. He'd open the door only to find his father; he was staring at Dean through eyes filled with frustration. He pushed passed Dean without a word and headed to the kitchen, cluttering around until he found what he was looking for.

"I thought you had a job?" Dean said slamming the door shut and walking to the small kitchen.

"I did" he muttered "took care of it."

"Well that's great" Dean muttered back just as bleakly "so why are you here?"

John didn't look at Dean, he kept his eyes glued to the coffee he was making "To sort you out."

"And I need sorting out why?"

John looked up now, anger written on his face "Because I asked for your help and you refused to help me! What if the thing I was hunting was the demon that killed your mother? Would have you cared? Do you even want to get this demon?"

"Yes I do" Dean snapped "But not at the cost of my happiness or friends or..." he trailed off.

"Or what?" he demanded

"Or love" he looked away, looked at anything but his father.

"Is that it Dean?" John asked and he didn't sound mad but it still didn't ease Dean's nerves, because if he weren't mad he'd want to know who it was and, well, he'd most likely have a stroke if he knew the truth. "You're in love, is that why you wouldn't leave?"

Dean took in a deep breath, if he denied this what excuse would he have, but if he told his father he was in love then he'd want to know who with and Edward Cullen certainly wouldn't be welcomed with open arms. But did he care what his father thought? Hadn't he taken enough away from Dean already? His life, friends, love. He took that away and now Dean finally had a life and a lover, who was his best friend, so why should he not have that? Because Edward was a vampire and he was a freaking hunter and he should have killed him the first time he laid eyes on him.

Instead he fell head over heels in love and Dean didn't think he could feel such emotions but he did, _he was_. He was happy and for the first time in his life he didn't feel frozen. He didn't feel alone or feel like he had to face the world by himself, he had someone to share the burden with and a shoulder to cry on and a loving face to wake to. He had a life here in Forks and it was all thanks to Edward.

"Yes" he said, "I'm in love."

"Well who is she?" John asked, seeming less annoyed, well for now.

Dean opened his mouth then closed it, no words came out. "E… Edward… his names Edward."

"He?" John gawked at Dean "you're joking right?"

"No I'm not" Dean said flatly "and if you don't like it then that's fine but I'm happy for once and after everything don't I at least deserve that?"

John was still staring at Dean through wide eyes and his jaw hanging like it was broken, Dean was just waiting for him to faint. "You do" he said gradually "Of course you do son… it's just… I didn't expect this."

_You're not gonna expect the rest either_ "I know, I… I didn't either it just happened… but I'm happy."

"Then that's all that counts," he said, his eyes slowly returning to normal "so… do I get to meet him?"

"Of course" Dean said only to want to take it back; what if Bobby had rang John and told him about what he was hunting? He'd know Edward was a vampire and then all hell would break loose. Dean then looked at the clock; it was after nine on a Tuesday morning and Edward… Edward was at school. So he hadn't just got up and left, he'd gone to school and most likely left a note. Not that any of this solved Dean's problem, it did however buy him time "He's at school."

"School!?" John exclaimed, "How old is he?"

_About the same age as me_ "seventeen. He's mature for his age though."

John took a sip of his coffee, his expression said he needed time to wrap his head around all this "Ok" he said, "I'd like to meet him."

"I'll bring him here after school" Dean said, his heart pounding away.

"Do you have a spare room?" he asked looking around the cabin.

"The couch is comfy" Dean said glad for a subject change "so how did you know where I was?"

"Didn't," he said dryly "I went to the first motel I saw and thought you might be there but the owner said you'd moved out to the words to stay in Julie's cabin. So I came straight here."

"Yeah, sorry I didn't tell you, been busy."

"That's ok," he said nodding "well I'm gonna unload the trunk."

"Do you need a hand?"

"No I'm fine" John said departing from the room.

Once John was out of sight Dean dropped down into the chair and sighed heavily. This was just fucking perfect, all he fucking needed, his father here while he dated a vampire. Fucking fantastic.

**Please review :)**


	7. Chapter 7 I Love You So

**Disclaimer: some more lines from Twilight and as you all know I don't own them.**

**This world is always trying to take a piece of me  
But You are always there to make me feel complete  
If I can keep my eyes on what You have for me  
I will face the truth and never look away  
You'll show me the real me**

**Fireflight: _Its You_**

**Chapter VII: I Love You So**

Dean stared at his father; he sat on the couch thumbing through the local paper. He would have looked calm and relaxed to the untrained eye but Dean could see the lines of frustration on his face. Dean didn't know if his father was just stressed because of the last job or because his perfect little soldier was disobeying orders and finally doing things for himself. And that made Dean smile, because for once he was doing things for himself and he wasn't some soldier who did what he was told. He was breaking all rules now, he'd crossed the line and there was no going back and he didn't want to go back, he wouldn't change this. He didn't know what was to come but he didn't care, as long as he had Edward he would be perfectly fine.

Ok, so maybe fine wasn't the right word to use, because as soon as John found out Edward was a vampire he'd demand Dean kill him and that Dean would not do. He wouldn't, _couldn't_ do it and he saw no reason too. Edward may not be human but he did no harm and he couldn't change who he was so why should he be killed for it? He called himself a monster but he wasn't, if he were a monster then Dean was too, he'd killed people, he'd done some bad things but no one wanted him dead. No one he knew anyway. The point was Edward didn't deserve to be killed and Dean would not do it if he was ordered and if he had to he'd stop his father from doing it.

Dean was taken out of his thoughts by the sound of a car engine; he looked out the window to see a black Hummer pull up beside the Impala. Edward jumped out of it, his movement so graceful and so unhuman, shit; John would expect something right away. Dean raced to the door, running down the stairs and meeting Edward before he could make it to the house. Edward didn't seem surprised to see Dean come busting out of the house; then again he might have caught Dean's thoughts.

"Act human," he said hurriedly "like fall over or something."

Edward's brow furrowed in concern "Your father's here" he said flatly "He thinks you've been put under a spell" Edward said, looking passed Dean "Thinks I'm a demon or something, thinks you're in danger."

"Well that I should of suspected" he sighed "well let's prove him wrong."

Edward looked at Dean, a hint of a smile on his face "Betta try hard."

Dean rolled his eyes "I think we can manage" he turned around then, walking back into the house, only to find John standing in the doorway. He stepped aside and allowed Dean to enter and his eyes narrowed when they caught site of Edward. He stood up straight, making himself look bigger then he was, clearly he really did view Edward as a threat.

"Hello" Edward said offering his hand and Dean was thankful to see he wore a glove "I'd like to formally introduce myself, I'm Edward Cullen."

"John Winchester" he said accepting his hand.

"I've heard a lot about you" Edward said.

"Oh really?" John asked looking up at Dean.

"All good stuff though" he stepped back next to Dean taking Dean's hand into his own "Well I've got a surprise for Dean so it was nice to meet you and I hope to see you again soon" he squeezed Dean's hand and Dean shot him an irritated look.

"See ya later dad" Dean said feeling like a schoolboy rather then a twenty-five year old.

"Be careful Dean" John said and Dean could hear the alarm bells going off in his father's head, great he didn't need this right now, _not now_, things were finally good in his life. "I'll be here when you get back."

"Ok" Dean nodded then walked off, pulling Edward behind him. He stopped once they were outside and let Edward guide him towards the Hummer; he climbed in and stared out the windscreen. The rain and fog had made it impossible to see out of but he didn't need to see through it to know his father was watching him. Dean heard Edward climb into the car and the engine roared to life but he didn't speak. He just kept staring, the windscreen was now see through but the house was no longer before him, instead the winding roads that led through the forests were.

Dean sighed heavily and sunk deeper into the seat, he didn't know what to think right now, he was pissed at Edward for acting like a… a vampire and he was pissed at himself for letting this happen. He should have denied that he was in love, said he was just tired of hunting and needed a break; he shouldn't have put Edward in danger. His father would stop at nothing to kill Edward, he saw the world in black and white and Edward was a monster in his eyes and monster didn't live long when John Winchester was in town.

"I'm sorry" Edward said lifting the silence "I didn't act very human, but your father is certain that I'm not."

"Well you could have maybe helped out and acted normal" Dean growled.

"I… I'm sorry" he apologised "I just don't like him."

"You don't even know him," Dean said looking at Edward through fierce eyes.

"I know enough."

"Which means?"

"I heard your thoughts, you were thinking about the time he left you and Sam in the woods" Edward's hands tightened around the steering wheel "what kind of father does that? Anything could of happened to you!"

"Well nothing did" Dean snapped "I was fine, Sam was fine, we made it out and we were fucking fine! And I wish you would stay out of my head" Edward went to speak but Dean silenced him with a wave of a hand "don't say sorry! I don't want to hear it!"

Edward pulled the car over to the side of the road and turned to face Dean, an unreadable expression on his face, nothing new there "To be fair that was before you asked me to stay out of your head and I will say sorry because I am, but I… I get angry when you think about all the stuff you had to go through, you were robbed of your childhood and you didn't deserve to have that shit laid on you! You were a kid and it wasn't fair."

"It wasn't fair but what do you know about it?" Dean demanded "Doctor Cullen is the model father and you have a home, a family who loves you and I bet they would be there for you if you needed them. They wouldn't control your life!"

"Yes I do" Edward looked away and sighed "well sort of, it's not exactly the same, but I know what its like to have a bastard father."

Dean chewed at his lip, his heart was racing fast and he could see Edward shift uncomfortable in the seat "What was the surprise?" he asked, he needed a subject change, this was too deep for Dean. Too many secrets were coming out and neither really wanted to tell them.

"I'm gonna take you to my place," he said through shallow breaths

Dean smiled half-heartedly "Thanks… Er, wait, like with your family?

"Yeah."

"What if they don't like me?"

"So you're worried, not because you'll be in a house full of vampires, but because you think they won't approve of you? Edward chuckled.

"I'm glad I amuse you" Dean said frowning.

Edward turned to face Dean, a smile gracing his handsome face "They'll love you, so don't worry."

**XoXoXoX**

Dean arrived at the Cullen's, the large glass and pine wood house stood out brightly against the dense forest that surrounded it. Dean and Edward walked into the house and up to the kitchen were the Cullen family cluttered around. Dean nervously approached the door, he felt Edward's ice-cold finger's brush his hand in reassurance. They entered the kitchen and Dean saw Doctor Cullen cuddling a sandy haired woman, her eyes the same gold as Edward's and her skin as white as snow. She was extremely beautiful, her skin flawless and her voice sweet as a song.

Edward introduced her as Esme, his mother in many ways, he then introduced Carlisle Cullen, though Dean had already had a brief encounter. The other two people – vampires in the room were Rosalie Hale and Emmet Cullen, both had the same eyes and skin and both were breathtakingly beautiful. Dean felt plain all of sudden, ugly even. He'd always said he was good looking, called himself a chick magnet, mainly to stir Sam, but now he truly felt boring. They were all so beautiful and perfect. Unlike Dean, who's body was marred with scars from numerous hunts.

"Are you hungry?" Esme asked taking Dean out of his thoughts "we brought food especially for you."

"Uh-"

"-He already ate" Edward interrupted.

"Sorry" Dean said glaring at Edward "just knew you guys didn't eat so…" he trailed off, looking down at the ground feeling uncomfortable.

"Is this uncomfortable Dean?" asked a smooth yet sharp voice "I mean you're a hunter and you're in a house full of vampires, so you instincts probably would be kicking in, telling you to make the kill" Dean was looking up now and he stared at Rosalie through narrowed eyes.

"Actually no" he replied, "I'm just not to used to being invited back to my friends houses." Friend? Funny word. Dean had never really used it, but was Edward a friend or something more? Sure they'd kissed and it was obvious they both desired each other but was this more then friendship? "So I'm a little shy" he continued, eyes never leaving Rosalie's "being a hunter I'm not used to having friends" he looked back at the family now "But I won't hurt Edward, I wont hurt any of you, I know you's are different."

"Thank you Dean" Carlisle said with a smile.

"You killing us isn't the only problem" Rosalie injected.

"Rose" Edward said in a warning tone.

"No! Edward!" she hissed, "if this ends badly then it's over for all of us! Other hunters will come and we'll have to move again!"

"Stop it" Esme ordered, her singsong voice no longer there "Dean, this is dangerous" she said, her voice softer now "but we want you to feel like part of the family."

Dean smiled "I know… and thank you."

"This is great" Rosalie exclaimed, "why don't we ask him to move in next?"

"Ignore her" Edward said to Dean "I do."

"Rose" Dean said with his cheeky grin "can I call you that?" she glared at him "I will not hurt your family, I swear."

Before Rosalie could say any more a beautiful pixie-like girl appeared in the room, a blonde haired young man was beside her. She walked to Dean and embraced him in a hug, catching Dean off guard. She pulled back and smiled at him with soft pink lips and her gold eyes wondered over his body. She took another step back; her short spiky hair blew in the breeze that came in through the window.

"You do smell good," she said in a sweet soft voice that was soothing to Dean's ears.

"Alice" Edward glared at her.

"It's ok Edward," she said smiling "Dean and I are going to be friends."

Edward rolled his eyes "This is my sister Alice" he said to Dean "that's Jasper."

Dean looked to the pale skinned man; he stood as still as a statue, yet he looked so handsome. His blonde hair spiked out like Edward's and he stood about the same height. He didn't move though, he stayed still and he looked like he was in pain.

"It's ok Jasper" Alice encouraged "You won't hurt him."

Dean looked to Edward then "He's new to our family" Edward said, "He's harmless though" he looked passed Dean to his brother and gave him an assuring smile.

"Hello" he said in strong smooth voice "Nice to meet you."

"You too."

"Why is everyone acting like this is fine?" Rosalie suddenly shouted.

"Ok that's it" Edward growled grabbing Dean's arm "c'mon I'll show you the rest of the house."

**XoXoXoX**

Dean sat down on Edward's couch and stared out at the forest through the large glass windows. He looked back to Edward who had just shut his door, he sighed heavily and lent against it. Dean looked away from Edward and studied the room, there was a large CD player sitting on a shelf and hundreds of CD's lined up on both sides. Dean stood up and walked to the CD player, his fingers lingered on the button before he pressed it and a soft music filled the air. Dean suppressed a laugh then went to look at Edward but he was no longer there. He was suddenly twirled around and was now facing Edward. He chuckled softly as he took Edward's hand then brought it to his lips and kissed.

"You know we're more then friends Dean" he said, swaying their bodies to the music.

Dean looked down at Edward "So we're together, together?"

"Yeah" he said wrapping his arm around Dean and pulling him closer "You don't know how long I've waited for you."

Dean didn't say anything; instead he pressed his lips to Edward's in a passionate kiss. Their bodies swayed to the music and they poured all their love into the one single kiss. Edward pulled back and Dean licked his lips and pouted, disappointed at the shortness of the kiss.

"Sorry" Edward apologised "I have to be careful, I can't bear the thought of living without you."

Dean laughed, "I can't believe this."

"Believe what?"

"That I'm in love with you" they stopped dancing to the music and Dean stared down at Edward with a longing look.

"I'm in love with you too," he replied "guess we're breaking all the rules now."

"I'm a rule breaker anyway" Dean quipped.

Edward pressed a quick kiss to Dean's lips then stepped back "I should get you home, your dad will get worried."

"What am I? Five?"

"He does love you" Edward said soberly "Not much as I do though."

Dean stepped back towards Edward and pulled him into his arms, resting his head on his shoulder and taking in the sweet perfume that was his natural scent. They didn't say anything, just enjoyed the comfort and the burning fire that swelled between them. No one needed to say anything because in this moment both knew they were unconditionally and irrevocably in love.

**Reviews are loved :)**


	8. Chapter 8 Tales from a Vampire

**This time we're not giving up  
let's make it last forever  
screaming "hallelujah"  
we'll make it last forever**

**Paramore: **_**Hallelujah**_

**Chapter VIII: Tales from a Vampire**

To be in love, well to be in love was truly amazing and every time Dean closer his eyes he saw Edward smiling at him. He saw the person that saved him; saw the person who reminded him why he fought for so long. And it was all crazy, insane even, because Dean spent his life hunting, hating the supernatural and yet he was in love with a supernatural being. God this was all so crazy, all so surreal, but still perfect. Dean only hoped it stayed this way, things had a habit of falling apart in his life. His walls always came crashing down too often and he feared it would happen again and he couldn't bear the thought. Edward was Dean's world and that statement in itself was crazy because since when Dean need someone to be his world? Couldn't he stand on his own two feet? Couldn't he make himself happy?

Was he losing too much here? Losing all sense and control, would Edward become the very air Dean breathed? Would, if something happened to Edward, Dean not be able to survive? Would he wallow in sorrow or become an obsessed bastard like his father? Was that was love was? A stones throw away from insanity? Dean shook his head, he wasn't sure if that even made sense. Love didn't make people go crazy; losing a loved one did however. What would happen if he lost Edward? Would he crumble? Would he die?

_He would die._

Dean sat up straight. Oh God this was crazy, love was making his life great but if it ended would it be the last straw? Would he not have the will to live, to keep fighting? But Edward loved him and he loved Edward and vampires mated for life and for once that didn't scare Dean. The idea of eternity with Edward sounded just right and usual he would be running in the opposite directions if someone said 'let's be together for always'. But Dean would grow old and die, hell he could die just walking out the door. He didn't want to die, not because he was afraid but because he didn't want to miss anything. Edward would live forever and Dean would slowly fade away.

There was only one thing to do.

Become a vampire himself.

Which went against all his better nature, because vampires were evil or some were and he was a hunter and he was meant to kill them not become them. But for Edward he would, for Edward he wouldn't hesitate, and besides, living forever might be fun. He could still be a hunter, he would just be unstoppable, he could save so many lives and never have to worry about losing his. He and Edward could have forever. Forever to be in each other's arms, forever to kiss, forever to love.

Forever with Edward sounded perfect and forever with Edward is what Dean would get.

**XoXoXoX**

"So how long have you known Edward?"

Dean looked up from his breakfast to find his father hovering over him "A while."

"What do you know about him?" John pulled out a chair and took a seat.

"That he's a good kid" Dean said tersely "has a kind heart and is really smart and funny" _Oh, he's a vampire._

"How long has he lived here? What was his surprise yesterday?"

"I don't know and he took me to meet his family, what's with the twenty questions?"

"There's something about him."

"He's not a demon dad" Dean snapped "he's just a kid, ok, and he makes me happy and isn't that enough? Must you question everything? Why can't you just let it be?"

"I'm just worried about you son," John said sighing heavily "I'm your father, it's my job to protect you."

"There's no need to protect me from Edward, I can assure you."

"Ok" he said looking down.

Dean rolled his eyes "Dad."

John looked up.

"I swear he's just a normal guy."

"I believe you" John said and Dean could see that he trusted his words completely

Dean swallowed the dry lump in his throat, God he hoped John never found out the truth "Well I have to go" he stood suddenly.

"Where are you going?"

"For a drive" he said shrugging "the forests are amazing here."

"Since when did you like forests?" John asked suspiciously.

"Since now" Dean grabbed his faithful leather jacket from the back of his chair "Well see ya later."

"Just be careful son."

"Yeah, I will."

**XoXoXoX**

Dean drummed his fingers against the steering wheel, his mind a million miles away. He'd seen trust in his father's eyes this morning, saw that he believed Dean's every word and he had just spun a bunch of lies. What would happen if he found the truth? He would be beyond angry that Dean lied and of course he'd do whatever it took to end Edward's life. Would he not stop there? Would he kill the Cullen family? Rosalie had been worried that that would happen and Dean assured her it wouldn't but could he stand against his own father? Would his father see what Dean saw? A harmless family or murderous vampires?

Dean closer his eyes and his head dropped to the steering wheel. What had he done? Had he just caused the Cullen's death. No, he was overreacting, John didn't even know, he thought Edward was human, because of Dean. Dean had lied to his father; he had looked him in the eye and lied. If the truth ever came out Dean would be dead. But hey, if Edward was going to be dead (for good) then Dean wanted to be dead too. Which reminded Dean, he wanted to be like Edward, to be a vampire. To live forever be his side, and even forever didn't seem long enough to Dean. He was so in love, his heart and soul belonged to Edward and ever second apart was hell.

Dean lifted his head and gazed out at the lush forest. The rain splattered down and soon the ground was soaked and puddles of muddy water littered the path that led deep into the forest. It had rained ever day since Dean got here, and when the rain did stop, it wasn't for long. This dark and gloomy town seemed a ridiculously place to fall in love. It looked like a town that would be crawling in demons and angry spirits, a small town filled with secrets. This didn't seem the place for a love story. But it was the prefect place for secrets and the Cullen family was the secret this town held.

But for once the secret was not getting people killed, it would if something went wrong. But Edward and his family would never let anything happen, they were fully in control. Even if Edward found it hard to be near Dean, his blood so sweet to him, his kisses all he needed to lose control but Dean trusted Edward. He would not loss control, he loved Dean too much and that was what kept his blood lust at bay. Speaking of lust, Dean was hoping he and Edward could go farther, if at all possible. Would sex be his undoing, would it turn Edward into a beast?

No, no way. Edward was in full control and no matter how far they went he would never kill Dean. But what if there was an accident? What if blood was spilt? Could he resist it? Could he turn Dean into a vampire without killing him? He could, he was strong, he would be able to, but did he want to? Edward didn't like being a vampire himself so would he turn Dean? Could he? Was Dean rushing this? He barely knew Edward and he was ready to give his life up become a vampire and spend eternity with him.

Dean shook his head to chase away the thoughts. Edward was right, he did think too much. His thoughts were always muddled and unclear. Never knowing what he wanted or what to do. Turn left, turn right, go back, go forwards, he couldn't decide. His thoughts circled until they screamed at him to end them. Until they became the deafening silence. The silence that had kept him awake for hours on end but he didn't hear it any more, not since Edward. Still didn't mean he knew what he wanted. Stay human, become a vampire, stop hunting, continue hunting, it was a whirlwind in Dean's mind and only Edward could make it cease.

"Hello."

Dean jumped then turned to face Edward who had just climbed into the car.

"Sorry" he apologised "didn't mean to startle you."

"It's fine" Dean said, "Well kinda, you nearly gave me a heart attack."

"I have that effect on people."

Dean snorted, "Some of my charm is rubbing off on you I see."

Edward laughed "I find your witty remarks very amusing but I know it's just a cover up."

"For?"

"What you really feel."

"Yeah, well" Dean turned the keys and the engine roared to life "I'm more of a suffer alone type."

"But you don't have to" Edward said reaching out and placing his ice cold hand on Dean's arm "I'm here for you."

"Yeah I know" Dean said, "It's just how I am though" Dean sighed, "So what are we doing today?"

"I thought we go to Port Angels and catch a movie?"

"A movie?" Dean asked "wow, been a long time since I've been to a cinema."

"Well allow me to re-show the joys of it," he said with his heart-warming smile "it's our last day together for awhile."

"What?" Dean exclaimed, "Where are you going?"

"Hunting" he said bleakly.

"Oh" he mouthed, "how long will you be gone for?"

"We usual go for at least four days, depends how much we catch."

"How often do you go hunting?"

"We usual hunt every three or four weeks."

"Could I come?"

Edward looked away suddenly, his eyes as black as night "No, it's too dangerous and I… I don't want you to see the monster that I am."

"The monster that you're not" Dean insisted.

"Dean I am a killer" he said sharply "if you were to be bleeding right now I don't know if I could restrain myself."

"I bet you could" Dean said, eyes leaving the road to look at Edward "I have faith in you and that's something, cause I don't have faith in well… anything."

"Besides the murderous vampire?" Edward said in light humour.

"Besides you, yes."

"Well thank you" Edward said scooting over closer to Dean "I wish I had faith in myself."

"I wish the same thing."

Edward laughed softly "It's amazing that we have faith in each other but not in ourselves."

"Ha, well guess that's just us" Dean paused for a moment, thinking of a way to show Edward he really had faith in him, but the answer was at his finger tips "Tell ya what, I'll let you drive my baby" he patted the dashboard "just to show how much faith I have in you."

Edward looked at Dean with an unreadable expression and Dean wished he wouldn't do that "You have that much faith in me, that you're willing to let me drive your most cherished object."

"That I do" Dean pulled the car over and turned to face Edward with a grin "she's all yours."

**XoXoXoX**

Dean and Edward reached Port Angels in no time at all. Edward drove faster than superman; Dean decided as they pulled up at the cinema, and he did, well he seemed to drive faster than superman, never slowing down. Amazingly he got them there in one piece and not even a scratch on the car. Edward drove like a maniac but he sure knew how to handle a car, even one as heavy as the Impala. Though when you never sleep you probably have lots of time to learn how to drive. Or maybe it was just because Edward was good at everything, yeah; it was because he was good at everything Dean decided.

"So hows your dad?" Edward asked taking a seat on the hood.

"Worried" Dean said sitting beside him "asking lots of questions too."

"His worrying isn't for nothing," Edward said looking away "I am a danger to you, especially today."

"Why?"

Edward turned to face Dean and his eyes were darker then usual "I'm getting hungry… I should have stayed away from you… but I needed to you see one more time before I went."

"I could just come" Dean said shrugging, knowing he was trading on thin ice.

"You know why you can't," Edward said through gritted teeth "Besides your father would be even more worried."

"Hmph, he's gonna worry no matter what."

"Well we don't want to give him extra stress" Edward stood up "so stay here where you are safe."

Dean bit his tongue, forcing back the words he wanted to say; "Well since this is our last day why don't we do something else" a subject change is what they needed.

"What do you have in mind?"

"I don't know" he shrugged "Let's just go somewhere and talk or something."

Edward smiled softly "I think that's a good idea."

**XoXoXoX**

The smell of the salty sae air greeted Dean as he arrived at the top of the hill, the large grey ocean stretched out before him. The wind blow harshly against his face and the grass swayed at his feet. The salty air was nice, the air seemed fresh and the sound of the ocean lapping against the shore was soothing. The serene surrounding was just what Dean was looking for, a quiet, peaceful place to talk. He and Edward headed down the sandy hill, Dean nearly slipped but Edward caught him and held on to him until they reached the bottom.

The sand was only partly dry where they stood. The continuous rain and high tide kept the sand wet most of the time; only occasional it was sunny and dry. But not today,_ today_ clouds covered the sky and the sun was nowhere to be seen, not even a glimpse. It didn't matter though, all that matted was that Dean was with Edward. It could be snowing for all he cared; he just wanted to be alone with him.

They sat in silence on a fallen log, each to their own thoughts, or maybe Edward was listening in. If he was, he would most likely have a headache, Dean thoughts were a mess. He was regretting lying to his father, regretting telling him about Edward and regretting that he might have put Edward and his family in danger. He should have never said anything, shouldn't have lied, shouldn't have fucking lied. Now he believed Dean that Edward was human and if he were too find out Dean would be in trouble and Edward… Edward would be in danger.

But John did believe Dean, so maybe, _just maybe_ he might not find out. Bobby had no reason to ring him and if John didn't ask about the hunt he could keep this a secret. And if he did ask about the hunt then he could make up some bullshit story and hope, _hope_ he's father brought it. Which would be unlikely, since John always knew when Dean was lying, but this morning, he bought Dean's lie. Believed every fucking word of it.

Dean ran his hands through his short spiky hair; he just wished he could control his thoughts. Edward was right; they were a mess, a whirlwind of confusion, worry, anger, regret and sorrow. He had to clear his head, had to think of something else. He thought of the man – vampire – who sat beside him, how perfect he was and how he made Dean's life so much better. Everything about Edward helped ease Dean, his voice, his eyes, his hands, his smell and his touch. It took away his pain and crazy, messed up thoughts.

"How long have you lived here?" Dean asked, voice slightly cracking.

"Two years" he said "but we lived here about… twenty years ago."

"So you just moved back," Dean said looking at Edward, his gold eyes easing his pain.

"You could say that" he said with his perfect smile "We have to move a lot, the downside to living forever I guess."

"Do you always go to places like this?"

"We have gone to isolated places before" he explained "where nobody else is, so we don't have to hide, but it cuts us off from the real world, so when we come back it's harder to resist the human blood" he paused, eyes tracing the ocean and grey sky "the more we are around it the easier it is to handle."

"So Carlisle, he's a doc, so hows he go about it?"

"He has a heart of gold" Edward said leaning back and looking up at the sky "He just wants to help people and that is the strength that keeps him for losing it. He is the strongest of us all in that sense. The rest of us would have to really focus, but his passion for his job is worth more then the taste of blood to him."

"So how did you become a vampire?" Dean asked, the conversation was easing his worries or maybe it was just Edward's voice and presence.

"Carlisle found me dying of the Spanish Influenza" he sat back up and gently took Dean's hand into his own "My family had already died and I was all alone and Carlisle saved me. But he could of very well killed me doing so, but he put all his will power into saving me."

"What's it feel like to be bitten?"

Edward closed his eyes and sighed "Excruciating. The venom is like fire running through your veins" he reopened his eyes "I screamed for three days straight, three excruciating days. It does no good to scream though, the burning spreads through your body, runs through every vein and every muscle. It's the worst thing someone could ever feel, then at the end… it all creeps towards your heart" he placed his hand on Dean's chest, right over his thumbing heart "then you take your final breath and feel your last heart beat."

"Ouch" Dean shivered at the thought, could he stand that? Could he burn for three days? For Edward he could "was it worth it?" he found himself asking.

Edward bought Dean's hand to his mouth and his lips brushed over his knuckles "it is now."

Dean smiled at Edward, a smile that said 'I love you and yes, I can, _I will_, burn for you'.

**Please review my lovely readers**


	9. Chapter 9 Burn

**I keep asking myself, wondering how  
I keep closing my eyes but I can't block you out  
Wanna fly to a place where it's just you and me  
Nobody else so we can be free  
Nobody else so we can be free**

**TaTu: All the Things **

**Chapter IX: Burn**

The chilly breeze rustled through the trees and the cold rain soaked the muddy ground beneath Dean's feet. The wind and rain bit at his face, the ground beneath him seemed to be getting wetter by the second, Dean hated the rain. But the hike through the forest was going to be worth it, so Edward had said, but he was a vampire, he could do anything. Dean kept stumbling and tripping and he was really done with this little adventure, if it weren't for the fact Edward was leaving tomorrow he would have turned around and gone to some place dry. He was with Edward though; his very presence had Dean dragging his ass through the forest. It better be freakin worth it.

Dean continued to trudge through the forest, Edward hovering near him in case he slipped. Which he'd done about… a million times already. He was cold from the rain, soaked through and his teeth chattered together. Maybe Edward was trying to kill him? Just a slow death. Dean forced back a laugh, he'd hunted a lot of things and if they wanted him dead all they had to do was making him fall for them then drag his sorry ass through a forest. But Edward didn't want Dean dead, if he did, Dean would not be breathing. Edward turned to face Dean and in a blink of eye he was swept into his arms and they were running up the hill.

Dean closed his eyes and rested his head against Edward's chest. He didn't even have much time to think, Edward came to a halt and Dean no longer felt the rain, he felt warmth, the warmth only a fire gives. He opened his eyes too see a large timber room, a king sized bed occupied the right side of the room and a large window gave view to the mountains and there was no more rain. No, there was snow. He gasped and walked towards the window, he placed his hand against the cool glass, it felt as cold as Edward's skin.

He turned to survey the rest of the cabin, a fire burned at the foot of the bed and a kitchen took up the other side of the room. It reminded Dean of a cottage out of some fairy tale book, not that he'd admit to reading fairy tales. He shrugged off his jacket and placed it down near the fire to dry. Edward was watching him from the other side of the room, his eyes seemed to be darker then earlier. Dean felt his heart skip a beat, maybe this was a bad idea, Edward was hungry or close to being hungry and Dean was a meal on legs.

Edward wouldn't do that; Dean pushed away the thoughts, locking them up like so many others. He watched Edward walk gracefully towards him, he stopped before Dean, his lips hovering near his. Dean closed the gap, their lips touched and the fire burned between them. Dean gripped Edward's jacket and started to peel it off as he kissed him hungry. As Edward's lips moved with his, Dean realised Edward was his life, he had become the very air he breathed and his kisses fed his hunger.

Dean went to pull Edward's jacket off when he suddenly found himself gripping at air. He opened his eyes to find Edward up against the kitchen table, taking in deep breaths and once again looking like a wild animal. Dean stayed where he was, counting the breaths Edward took and studying him carefully, waiting for the right time to go to him.

"Stay!" Edward said throwing his hand out "Please Dean, stay."

"I'm sorry" Dean whispered, "I didn't mean to-"

"It's not your fault" Edward said straightening up "I shouldn't have you here, I'm a danger more then ever today."

"No" Dean said darkly "you're not."

Edward looked up at Dean and chortled, "You're crazy."

"Only for you."

Edward smiled half heartily "Why don't you go take a shower" he heaved "get warm and I'll dry your clothes."

"Or you could join me" Dean hedged but regretted saying it "sorry, I don't realise how hard this is for you."

"It's ok" Edward said soberly "Go shower then we'll talk, ok?"

Dean nodded and forced a smile "yeah, ok."

**XoXoXoX**

The warm water ran over Dean's skin, tracing the scars made by his many battles with the supernatural. He could close his eyes and name every spot where a scar was. His skin was marred with various scars from demons, spirits, knifes, bullets, even teeth marks, all from putting his life in harms way. None from a silly mistake, like falling over or from a pet, he couldn't look back at them and say, 'hey, I was having fun when I got this scar'. All he could say was 'I put my life in danger for some people who I didn't even know and who might not even be worth saving'.

He'd saved so many people, lost just as many; he never forgot how bad it felt to lose someone though. The first time he fucked up a hunt he was eighteen, too young to have the right skills, but John said he could do it. He was wrong, so very wrong. He was trying to get a family out of a haunted house; some young girl killed herself, wait she was murdered? God he didn't even remember, but what he did remember was the blood of Abby Moss. She was their daughter, seven years old.

_Too young to die._

It had just been her and Dean in the room; her mother and father had been shut out. The doors had slammed shut and he could still hear the thud in his mind. A shiver ran up Dean's spine and he pushed the memory away, he didn't want to remember. Not now. _Not now_. Dean shut off the water and stepped out, his clothes sat neatly folded on the bench. He grabbed a towel and quickly dried himself, hoping Edward's voice would erase the screams, the cries. He dressed himself in a hurry, telling himself not to think.

'_Forget it'_ he ordered himself '_fuck!'_ He shouted in his mind, God he screwed up that day, scratch that, he'd fucked up and it didn't matter how many seconds or minutes ticked by, didn't matter how many day, months or years passed, it was all still so clear. Their screams, his screams, its menacing laugh. Dean balled his hands into firsts, digging his nails into his palm so hard that he drew blood. It didn't matter though, didn't fucking matter if he bleed, it meant he felt something. Something other then frozen.

Edward made him feel unfrozen.

Edward couldn't fix this though.

Dean took a deep breath to force back a sob; he couldn't lose it, not now, _not now_. Everything was better now, everything was ok, well as ok as his life could get. But it was ok, it wasn't as bad, so why was he thinking of this, why was he bringing it back? It was a long ago, he had to move on, it wasn't his fault, so they said. Sounded more like lies to him.

It was his fault, _God it was_.

"Dean."

A serene feeling washed over Dean at the sound of Edward's voice, all thoughts were chased away by the soft velvety tone and he relaxed. _He forgot_. For the moment. Dean smiled at Edward, it most likely came out half heartily but it was an attempt.

"Are you ok?"

"Never better" he said putting on his mask.

**XoXoXoX**

The fire burned and cracked, Dean watched the flames dance, lost in the moment. He and Edward sat quietly, like they had before, both lost in the world of thoughts but surrounded by the presence of each other. Moments like these were what Dean had needed for years; he needed to feel the love roll off someone, needed to hear those words whispered to him. To feel the passion and fire in a kiss, the lust and desire when he looked into his eyes. He needed to feel this for so long and it was better then he had ever imagined. Not that Dean would ever admit to imagining about love.

Dean never did love, sure he had plenty of girlfriends, if you could call them that, but never did he love them. Just wanted them, to feel something, but now he thought about it, he never did. Sure the sex was good, great even but there was no love or passion to fuse it. Not like with Edward, the burning fiery passion was rolling off his skin and warming Dean to his core. Unfreezing his frozen heart. Dean couldn't bear to be without Edward, he was his air and to lose him would be like living in a world with no air.

He was Dean's life support and if someone or something took him away he would die. He had made up his mind; he didn't need more time to think about it either. He knew what he wanted. No ifs, no buts, he would become a vampire. He would burn for three days, he would live off animal blood, he would do anything to be with Edward forever. It was finalised.

He would be a vampire.

He just had to ask or did Edward already know? He turned to face Edward, he stood as still as a statue, not even breathing. Dean sucked in a deep breath; he hoped Edward didn't get mad. He was asking a lot, but surely Edward would want this too, right? He wanted Dean forever, right?

"Of course I do" Edward turned to face Dean, his unreadably mask in place "but I will not end your life for you."

Dean regarded himself before speaking "My life has nearly ended many times, what I hunt might, _will_, get me killed and I really don't want to die but that's just how it is. If you change me I wont ever have to die, we can have forever."

Edward shot to his feet and Dean followed suit "You don't have to keep hunting Dean, you can stop, stay here with me."

"And grow old?" Dean asked bitterly "while you stay young? Are you really gonna love me when I'm sixty?"

"I will love you always."

"But not forever" Dean turned around and pulled his jacket back on "I will die and I doubt I will die old, now I love you" Dean placed both his hands on Edward's stone cheeks "and I will do this for you, I've made up my mind, I have."

Edward pulled away "I will not end your life" his face shadowed with rage "I won't turn you into a monster."

"I already am!" Dean shouted "I am a fucking hunter and I have gone off the deep end, I have done so many bad things and I wish, I wish to God every day I could take them back but I can't, I have to live with it for the rest of my life."

"If I change you, you'll have to live with it forever."

"It doesn't matter, when I'm with you the pain goes away" his whispered "you make it easier."

"I still can't change you."

"Fine" Dean stormed past Edward.

"Where are you going?" Edward asked grabbing Dean's arm.

"Back to the house" he said "I'll see you when you get back."

Edward didn't loosen his grip on Dean's arm "It's to far for you to walk on your own, let me take you back."

"I can manage" Dean said through gritted teeth while pulling his arm free of Edward's vice like grip. Dean walked to the door and pulled it open, the icy wind and snow sending an instant chill down his spine. He turned to face Edward, his face was set in stone, he would not change Dean then Dean would not stay "See ya Edward."

**XoXoXoX**

Dean stared at the ceiling, it was dark, the house silent. His father had gone somewhere and he was grateful for it, he needed time. He closed his eyes and all he saw was Edward, standing so still, then he closed the door. He'd left. Fuck he'd left. Trudge through the forest for hours until he found the car and drove home. Music blaring and thoughts screaming. He'd left, God he'd left. What if he had ruined this? The best thing he had and he might have fucked it up? He should have kept his mouth shut; actually, he should have kept his thoughts away from it. Of course Edward was listening, Dean was 'hard to figure out', whatever the hell that meant.

Dean sat up and started to pace the room, he couldn't stay still. He felt terrible, God, why did he leave? He should have tried to see this from Edward's point of view, but Dean didn't really understand. If Edward loved him then surely he'd want to turn him. Did he not love Dean? Was he just using him? Interested in the fact he couldn't unravel Dean's thoughts. Was this all a lie? A game? Dean kicked the bed and forced back a scream that was building in the back of his throat. Edward did love him and this; _this_ was not just a game.

It was special.

What they had, it was special. So why wouldn't he turn him? Was that so hard? Did Edward think he was such of a monster that he refused to turn Dean. Even though if he didn't Dean would eventually die and Edward would be alone. Dean wanted forever with Edward, not a few months or years, forever. Eternally.

Dean flopped down on the bed and stared out at the night sky, the moon was visible through the clouds for once. It was a beautiful night and he was alone, no one to share it with. He closed his eyes and sighed, the silence started screaming. His eyes snapped open and a silhouette appeared at the window, then vanished.

The silence screamed.

Dean shot to his feet; he shouldn't have brought this back up. He'd locked it away, hid it with so many other painful memories. He had to get out and get some air. He pulled on his thick black coat and left in a hurry, hoping the sound of his shoes against the ground would be enough to make the silence leave.

The night air bit at his skin and sent instant chills down his spine, he wasn't going back inside though. He pulled his jacket tighter around him and shoved his hands into his pockets as he crossed the lawn and headed towards the forest that loomed over the house. The wind rustled the trees and the long grass swayed at his knees. He quickened his pace; hoping the forest would hide him from the icy breeze.

Dean reached the forest and walked aimless, just trying to escape the screaming silence. He found himself humming Metallica to try and drown out the silence but no matter what, it stayed. Screaming at him that he had lost Edward, he'd screwed up, that he was a screw up, not a perfectly little soldier, just a mess. A useless, fucking mess. All he did was screw up, he'd screwed up hunts and now he'd screwed this up. He was good for nothing and the silence made sure he knew it.

Dean stopped and stared up at the night sky through the tops of the trees. The moon shone down brightly, showering him in its delicate silver beam. He took a deep breath, he wanted to scream. He wouldn't though. He'd lost it once before, he wouldn't do so again. He looked away from the sky, staring straight ahead at the dark forest. He was following no path; he had no idea where he was or even how to get back. He could die out here, but once again he didn't care. He'd lost Edward. Lost his everything.

He'd let the dark night swallow him.

"Long time no see."

Dean spun around only to find the rustling trees. But someone had been here. Right? He took a shuddered breath then turned back around only to come face to face with a pale skinned man. His crimson eyes pierced Dean's and his black hair blew in the wind. "Well if it isn't Mitch, or is it Myles… no, wait… Mark?"

Dean was backhanded across the face "Michael, actually."

"Oh" Dean spat blood into his face. Yeah, Dean really screwed up sometimes. "Oh shit" he went to take a step back when Michael grabbed his wrist, his eyes glowing bright as fire. He pulled Dean towards him; his fangs pierced his flesh and an instant scream cut through the silence like thousands of knives. The bite was not the worst part though. The venom burned, _burned_ beyond words. Dean had burnt himself on an oven before but this, _this_ was excruciating. Fire attacked every nerve and vein in his neck sending waves of fire into his throat and down to his shoulders.

He was dropped to the ground. _It burned_. He felt hands on him, grabbing him roughly but nothing was worse then the fire. It felt like he was lying on a bed of hot coals. It was spreading but it was only dull everywhere else but his neck pounded. He screamed, he screamed and groaned and cried for it to end but his screams fell on deaf ears. He just hoped Michael hurried up and killed him. But where was he? There were no more rough hands on him and he couldn't hear anything other then his pounding heart.

He was going to die.

No. He was going to become a vampire.

Whether he was ready or not…


	10. Chapter 10 The Truth

**Don't tear me down for all I need  
Make my heart a better place  
Give me something I can believe  
Don't tear me down**

**Within Temptation: _All I Need_**

**Chapter X: The Truth**

_It burnt…_

It felt like been stabbed with a knife made of fire and the pain didn't ease. It only got worse. Spreading down his neck, slowly, _so slowly_. It touched his shoulder and a cry escaped but he wasn't sure how loud it was. He could only hear his beating heart. Beating its last beats. Everything was about to change for Dean. He was about to die, well sort of, he was about to become one of the very things he hunted and now, _now_ he was afraid. It wasn't just the burning that made him afraid, it was what lay ahead. He hadn't really thought this over, yes he did want to spend forever with Edward but now that it was happening all his other thoughts came to him.

What would happen to Sammy and his father? Could he still protect them or would he be weak and let his blood lust get the better of him? He'd screwed up enough to know he could very well screw this up. He could lose control and hurt Sammy or his father or maybe even Edward? Oh God, he wasn't ready for this yet. He wanted Edward, yes, but he didn't want this yet. Maybe in time, when he knew he could deal with it and still look after Sam and his father. It was too late now.

He was turning and he was all alone. Lost somewhere in the forest, left to burn. But where was Michael? He had been here; ready to kill him, to drink the very blood from his veins. So were was he? Why wasn't he ending the pain, the burning? Dean was withering on the ground, crying, screaming in pain and no one heard it. No one was going to make it go. His screams, pleads and tears went unnoticed and the fire spread lower and lower. No one heard. No one came.

_It burnt._

"I'll make the pain go away Dean."

Dean's eyes snapped open, a blurred face appeared before him. Edward.

"Hold on my love."

Edward's voice did little to ease the pain but Dean was no longer consumed with fear, Edward was here, he was saved. He felt Edward's fangs pierce his neck and for a second it burned worse then it slowly eased. The fire left his shoulder and headed back to his neck, were it pulsed. It was unbearable. He felt the world slip from around him and with great graduate he let the darkness take him.

**XoXoXoX**

Dean felt like he was floating, through a land of nothing. A place were he felt no pain or fear. Oh shit he was unconscious. Even in a world of unknown and no sense's Dean knew he was out cold. Maybe he'd been knocked unconscious by some pissed off spirit or demon or werewolf? No, all that was wrong. He wasn't hunting, he was… running? His head pounded and he couldn't make sense of his unclear memories. He rolled over, he was coming too but the cobwebs were still clouding his mind. He felt hands on him; ice could hands, sending chills through his body.

Cold hands? Cold hands went with Edward. His foggy mind became clear and his memory came flooding back to him. The burning pain, the venom running through his veins. Slowly changing him into a vampire. The pain had stopped through, Edward's words had carried his fear away and the fire burning in his veins disappeared, leaving him to be swallowed by the darkness.

Cold hands brushed over his forehead and soft words were whispered. He slowly opened his eyes, taking in his surroundings. His vision was slightly blurred but he guessed he was somewhere in the Cullen house. He looked up at the pale face that hovered over him, slowly his vision cleared and the face hovering over him became known. Edward's sweet smile and cool touch sent Dean's heart racing and his breath hitched.

"Easy Dean" Edward's velvet voice calmed Dean "Take it easy."

"Where's Michael?"

"Dead" Edward said soberly "his mate, was no where to be seen."

"How…" Dean shut his eyes tight, a blinding headache seared behind his them "how'd you get the venom out?"

"I was forced to suck it out."

Dean opened his eyes, ignoring the pain "You mean you tasted my blood without losing it?"

Edward stroked Dean's cheek "I am stronger then I thought" he smiled half-heartily "or maybe it was just the thought of living without you, I know I couldn't bear it."

"Maybe I just don't taste that good" he quipped.

Edward laughed wryly "Trust me, you do."

Dean slowly sat up, taking Edward's hand into his own "Thank you."

"There is no need to thank me" Edward brushed his lips over Dean's knuckles "I thought you might be mad, actually."

"Cause you didn't let me turn?"

"Yeah."

"I wanted too" Dean looked down "I want to be with you but I don't know if I'm ready to become a vampire yet."

"To hear that makes me feel a lot better" Edward said smiling.

"But one day I will be" Dean looked back up "and when that day comes I want you to turn me."

Edward bit his lip "Maybe."

Dean scowled "maybe?"

"Can we not talk about this now?" he said standing "I nearly lost you, so can we just be grateful that you're-"

"-Not a vampire?"

Edward bit his lip and looked away, making Dean regret his words. He rubbed his eyes and sighed heavily, he should learn to keep his mouth shut. He couldn't win with Edward, was there a way he could meet him the middle? He was happy Dean wasn't ready to become a vampire but he was still annoyed that one day in the future he would want to be one. He was not going to stay human forever, in time he would ask to be changed, ask to spend a lifetime with Edward. Which was a lot for Dean, to give up everything, to watch his father and Sammy get old and die while he lived forever. The thought of that made his heart ache but when he looked up at Edward the pain went away. He wanted to spend forever with Edward, but he wasn't ready, not today.

**XoXoXoX**

Dean walked back into the house that he was renting from Julie, it was silent. He shrugged off his jacket and hung it on the coat rack then made a beeline to the kitchen. He switched on the jug, needing a coffee fix ASAP. He slumped against the counter and stared out the window, it was sunny today. The sky had patches of grey but for once it was partly clear, no rain. Just sunshine. Today was beautiful but it felt spoiled by the lack of Edward's presence. He and Carlisle, Emmet and Jasper had gone out hunting and would not return for a few days and already Dean longed for Edward's touch.

Dean took one last longing glance at the window then turned around and set to work on making his coffee. Everything seemed a chore today, his muscles ached and his head pounded, side effect of being bitten he guessed. He fingered the bite on his neck, it still hurt to touch and was visible but Edward said it would disappear fast. Vampire venom healed wounds at rapid speeds; he just hoped it was gone before his father returned, from wherever the hell he was.

He hadn't seen his father since yesterday morning. He must be worried about Dean, he hadn't been home, perhaps he was looking for Dean. Most likely already assuming a supernatural being or Edward had taken him. Dean took a sip from his coffee, the boiling heat bring moisture to his eyes and burning his throat. No more burning. He placed the mug down and headed to the phone when the door swung open. Dean felt himself go rigid as the door slammed shut. He heard heavy footsteps before he was faced with his father. Relief was visible on his fathers.

"Where have you been?" he asked, "I've been worried sick about you."

"I was out" he said, picking up his coffee and taking a sip, he needed whisky. "With Edward."

"Dean you have to know something about him" John said gradually.

_Oh shit!_ "What is it Dad?" Dean's heart was racing and he could feel sweat beading at the back of his neck.

"Dean… he's not human" he sighed heavily and Dean could see he didn't want to be saying this "he's a vampire."

Dean bit his lip, his heart was racing so fast and he felt his head spinning "Dad he's different, he's not like other vampires."

"Dean" John's suddenly stopped, his eyes practically bulging out of his head "what happened to your neck? It looks like you've been-"

"Bitten by a vampire" Dean placed his mug back down "I have been, Edward saved me though, nearly became a vampire. But I want too, not yet but maybe soon" _might as well let the truth pour out_ Dean thought and that is what he was doing "see I already knew about Edward, Bobby told me awhile ago but I know Edward is different. He won't hurt me or anyone else."

"How do you know?" he demanded, "they are vampires Dean and you are defending them! You want to be one of them? Look what's already happened" he gestured to Dean's neck.

"No, that was Mitch… Mark… whatever, it wasn't Edward" he folded his arms over his chest "he saved me though, sucked the venom out, tasted my blood and didn't attack."

John seemed to be reeling with emotions, rage, confusion and concern. "Dean we have to kill them! They are dangerous."

"You kill Edward you might as well kill me too," Dean said darkly.

"Dean what is wrong with you?"

"Nothing" he shrugged "well I'm in love."

"With a monster."

"With Edward" Dean growled, "Please, dad, they are not monsters, they don't drink human blood."

"Then what do they drink?" John's face was shadowed in rage.

"Mountain Lion, Deer, stuff like that" Dean said nonchalantly.

"So you really believe that they are harmless?"

"Yes."

"And you knew about Edward and you lied to my face!"

"I had too," Dean yelled, "because this would have happened."

"So you tried to hide this from me? Hope I didn't find out?"

"Yes" he lowered his voice and his body sagged "Dad, please, I love Edward, please just trust me that he won't harm anyone."

"How can I trust you?" he took a step back "when you lied to me about this."

"Dad I'm sorry."

"Sorry isn't good enough Dean. This is something that you shouldn't have kept a secret, you and a… a vampire. It just can't be. It's not right, it's not natural."

"Since when did we deal with the natural anyway" Dean said in audible tone "I have spent my life alone, never having anyone to love and all the supernatural brought me was misery but now, after everything, it has brought me Edward and I will not stand aside while you take the best thing in my life away from me. I can't do that, I've lost too much and I will not loss Edward, not while I can help it."

"So you would really stand beside a monster?"

"Yes."

"Right" John sighed, "Then, I will go and you can stay."

Dean stood motionless, no words were spoken.

"Goodbye son" John turned around "be safe."

**XoXoXoX**

He'd left.

Said four words and left.

Dean stared out the window, expecting to see his father return any moment. Return to demand that Dean killed Edward or he would. But as the day went on, he didn't return and Dean was left pacing the house. He had imagined that when his father found out, he would go straight for the kill, stopping at nothing until Edward and his family were dead. He never thought he would just leave, say goodbye and go. Dean was glad that Edward was safe but was he really? Was his father sudden disappearance just a trick? Was he just making Dean think he had left when really he had gone to kill Edward or had he just gone?

He'd taken his belongings and gone. Said goodbye son and gone. Said be safe and then he was gone. Dean was confused; this didn't seem like his father. Shouldn't he be out there trying to kill the Cullen's? Shouldn't he have dragged Dean out of this town kicking and screaming or did he really believe Dean? Did he believe they were harmless? He said he couldn't believe Dean though, after he lied to his face. Dean couldn't blame him though, he had always been honest and the other day he lied straight to him. He'd gone behind his fathers back and started dating a creature, a vampire. _Edward._

But Edward was Dean's life now. He couldn't live without him and nothing his father said or did could change that. He was in love and nothing in this world would ever change the way he felt. He would have stood before Edward, protected him from his father as long he lived. Because he loved him. Dean sighed and turned away from the window, John was not coming back and Edward would not return for a few more days. So he just had to stay here and go crazy until Edward returned and brought his sanity with him.

**XoXoXoX**

It was just after sunset and Dean watched the last of the sunny day disappear behind the mountains. The day had been beautiful, crisp and cool. He'd grown bored of sitting in the house and headed out into the forest, despite nearly being killed last night. He couldn't stay in here though, he was going stir crazy. The howl of the wind and the rustle of the trees in the forest kept the screaming silence away from him and eased his worries. The trek through the forest was what he needed to keep his mind off everything but he couldn't help but let his thoughts wander to Edward. He was already missing him, seeking his touch and feel of his lips against his own. But he would have to wait.

And waiting was not something Dean enjoyed.

He sat at the kitchen table; finishing off some greasy hamburger he'd bought from some take out shop. He wasn't very hungry, he was mainly stressed and it took away his appetite. He left half of his meal and threw it into the bin before grabbing a beer from the fridge. He took a swig of the bitter liquid then rested against the bench. He tried to ignore the little voice in his head, the one that was telling him that Edward was in danger. His father had left though, he hadn't even seemed that angry, more hurt then anything. So maybe, _hopefully_ Dean was just stressing for nothing but whatever the reason it wasn't going to let him relax.

He just wanted the serene feeling to return to him, the one only Edward brought with him. Dean closed his eyes and imagined he was here, his soft voice chasing away the screaming silence and whirlwind of thoughts. His every touch easing the aches in Dean's body, his kisses feeding Dean's hunger. Dean felt himself relax somewhat by the thought of his lover but it wasn't the same as Edward's very presence. The feel of his ice-cold skin, the colour of his gold eyes, his sweet smell, he needed it all. He didn't want to have to wait for it. He had no choice though.

A knock at the door broke the silence and Dean found himself reaching for a knife. He quickly withdrew his arm and shook his head, too many years as hunter. He headed to the door, still alert. He opened the large timber door too find a pixie like girl standing before him. Her large gold eyes glowed brightly in the dim light and her skin seemed blue under the moonlight.

"Alice?" Dean guessed, hoping it was the right name.

"Dean" she smiled softly "How are you feeling?"

"Ah, fine… fine."

"Edward asked me to come and check up on you," she said "just to make sure you're doing ok. You're stressed about your father leaving, you think he's gone after Edward but I can assure you he has gone and Edward is not in any danger."

Dean stared at Alice with confusion, how did she know all of that? "Can you read minds too?"

"I have visions," she said in her chipper tone "Edward hasn't told you" her smile faded "sorry, I assumed he had."

Dean sighed, "It's fine. So you see the future" he stepped aside and gesture for her to come in "I bet you saw me coming."

Alice crossed the threshold, her walk more like a dance "They are subjective" she turned to face him as he shut the door "I can only see something once a person has made his or her mind up."

"So you didn't see me coming?"

She shook her head in a no manner "I did see you once Edward met you though" she smiled again, her smile both bright and stunning "It's magic what you two have. Edward has been alone for so long, it's nice to finally see him with someone" she tilted her head to the side "you are very handsome, and… your smell, it's so unique. I've never smelt anything like it."

Dean laughed sheepishly "Thanks, I guess."

"You will make a beautiful vampire one day."

Dean felt the smile die from his face "you see me as one?"

"Yes" she nodded her head delicately "your time to join us is both near and far."

Dean chewed the inside of his lip "What else does the future hold for me?"

"That's all I see" she looked away, her eyes darting towards the windows "For now."

Silence fell over the room. Alice stared out the window and Dean stared at her, she stood motionless, like a statue. Dean struggled to find words, they had escaped him. He was left with the vision of himself as a vampire, skin as white as snow and eyes as bright as gold. He wasn't sure when this was going to happen. It wasn't soon but it wasn't far. What the hell did that mean? Stupid vampire and her nonsense. Couldn't she just tell Dean when? Maybe she didn't know, her visions were subjective. So he would have to deal with the fact that one day he would become a vampire. But it wasn't today.


	11. Chapter 11 Dean’s Lullaby

**Everything that you feel  
Is everything that I feel  
So when we dream  
We shout...**

**We shout...**

**TaTu: **_**We Shout**_

**Chapter XI: Dean's Lullaby**

The fire crackled and danced before Dean, the orange glow illuminated the room. He drew his legs up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. The nights were getting colder. He found himself thinking of Edward; he wondered how he was doing. Had he caught food yet? Would he return soon? Dean felt lost without him, incomplete. Edward was his soul mate, the other half of him. He was everything Dean had never dared to dream of. He was the person Dean had told himself didn't exist. The one thing that bought the love he needed so desperately. Dean smiled; he could see Edward smiling at him, his eyes bright and his lips hovering near. Then their lips would touch and the fire would burn, even though they were both so cold.

Dean opened his eyes and sighed heavily. Everything he once thought nonsense was now ever present in his life. Dean found himself laughing, his life had changed dramatically, but it was for the best. He no longer felt frozen or alone, Edward was the fire that kept him warm and the one person who made every day so much brighter, even if the sky was blanketed in clouds. Dean rose to his feet and crawled into bed, soaking in the warmth. Everything was so much better now.

Everything was perfect.

**XoXoXoX**

"Alice where are we going?" Dean shouted after collapsing against a moss-covered rock. Alice had come over early in the morning, bringing with her muffins and coffee. For someone who never ate anything she sure knew what to cook. After Dean's breakfast he and Alice set out into the forest, the sun beaming down and turning Alice into a walking diamond. She danced through the forest, ducking easily under fallen branches and jumping over rocks and roots. She made this look so easy, Dean was half wishing he had been turned. He was slipping and tumbling behind her, with no idea of where they heading.

"A little further Dean" she shouted back, her singsong voice clear as a bell.

"How much further?" Dean whined "I can't take this any longer."

"You're doing fine" she appeared beside him "You will like it!"

"Is that a guess or do you actually know I'll like it?"

She giggled and even that sounded like a song "Just trust me Dean, please?"

"I do," he said taking a deep breath, "just don't trust my sense of balance."

"You are doing fine" she said again "Now, hurry along, we are almost there" she twirled around and ran up the hill.

"We better be" Dean groaned "Or I'm quitting."

Dean and Alice continued to make their way through the forest. They reached a large open field just as the sun touched the center of the sky. The ground was mostly dry here; a few raindrops clung to the leaves and grass. Dean took in a deep breath; the air was fresh and crisp. He watched Alice as she walked to the middle of the field, the grass swaying at her feet and the wind blowing her hair about. She turned to face him, a smile on her face. She walked back to Dean and took his hand, leading him across the field. They came to a stop at the edge, Dean looked through the trees and saw a rug on the ground, a picnic basket and some pillows lay with it.

Out of the forest came Esme and Rosalie, to Dean's surprise. Alice led Dean through the trees and too the mat, where they took a seat. Dean could smell food, his mouth watered. He was hungry from his long walk. He was surprised to find he didn't feel awkward or uncomfortable around the Cullen's. Amazing how he got along better with the supernatural.

He ate his food while asking Esme and Alice questions about their past. Esme had died forty years ago at the age of twenty-five. She had lost her husband and child and thought the only way out was to end her own life. So she threw herself off a cliff, only she didn't die. Carlisle found her and turned her, longing for a mate himself. It had taken awhile for her to get used to being a vampire but she couldn't be happier now, she had have everything she had ever wanted.

When he asked Alice how she turned she told him she had no clue. She couldn't remember it, her past was a mystery to her, but like Esme she was happy. Dean couldn't help but feel comfortable with them; he didn't have to hide who he was and when they asked him about his past he could answer truthfully. Clearly he was their family now and he truly felt like he belonged. Even with the cold shoulder from Rosalie, who sat away from him, eyes downcast. He didn't know what Rosalie's problem was but he knew it had something to do with what she was. He could tell she didn't want to be a vampire. She was longing for something else, Dean didn't know what though. He wouldn't intrude though, he still kept secrets himself, they were locked away though. Hidden so he never had to deal with them.

But now, he didn't have to think of anything. Didn't have to think of where his father was or how Sammy was doing. He was relaxed and enjoying the moment, in a funny way, this was the most human Dean had ever felt and he was at a picnic with vampires. Funny how things work out. Dean smiled as Alice and Esme talked about something he wasn't sure of. They had lost him a while ago, they had been talking about their time in Alaska when Esme or was it Alice? Whoever it was, said something, which started a whole new story all together. But he didn't care what was being said, he was happy, truly happy.

He wanted to feel this way forever. He wanted to become a vampire, even though he had changed his mind once he had been bitten, he still longed for this. To live forever like this, to be happy forever. He still would think about this, a few weeks of thought and if he still felt the same, then he would ask Edward to turn him. It would be hard though, to burn like he did, for three days. It was pain beyond words but for this it was worth it.

For Edward it was worth it.

For _love_ it was worth it.

**XoXoXoX**

Alice, Dean and Rosalie trekked through the forest; Esme had gone home to clean the house. Apparently, she lived with very messy vampires. Dean had laughed, he never thought of being friends with vampires let alone them doing chores. It was like Dean was in a whole new world and he loved ever little part of it. Even the long tiring trek back to the house. Alice was ahead, dancing about gracefully, Rosalie trudged along beside Dean, though more delicately. She never looked at him and kept her eyes down and arms folded over her chest. Dean had been wrestling with the urge to say something, a smart mouth comment or a bad blonde joke. He couldn't resit any longer, but he decided against the joke.

"I've seen demons who hated me less" he said smirking, she kept her eyes down "am I that bad?"

She looked up now, her eyes dark with anger "You're a fool" she hissed "and a danger to this family."

"You know I won't hurt you, any of you" he assured "besides, aren't I the one who should be worried? In case I end up as the meal."

She chortled "If that happens then we are over" she stopped to face him now, standing tall "we will be hunted! Your father most likely will be the one who kills us."

"Well he's gone" Dean said dryly "and unless you ring him to let him know you ate me, he ain't coming back."

"You are a joke" she turned and stormed off.

"Don't like humour?" he called after her, trying to match her supernatural pace "well you're a bore."

She spun to face Dean, her eyes darker then before and her face clouded with rage "your jokes wont save you if Edward loses control and if you somehow manage to survive, they most certainly will not save this family!"

"Edward won't lose control" Dean said promptly.

"We all make mistakes."

"Believe me I know" he said soberly, "Look, Rose," she hissed at him, looking furious, making him choice his next words wisely "Rosalie I won't bring any harm to this family."

"This family?" she stepped closer to him, her face inches away, "you say it like it's your family too."

"Someday" he said with a smile playing on his features.

"Like I said" she stepped back "You're a fool" she twisted around and in a blink of any eye she had disappeared.

Dean sighed heavily then continued to trudge along; he could hear Alice up ahead. He ducked under a fallen branch while stepping over another. He really hated hiking. He found himself in a denser part of the woods; the trees grew together, cloaking the sky above. He spotted Alice standing in the middle of the clearing. She was frozen where she stood. Dean rushed to her side, stepping in front of her only to find she had unfrozen.

"What was that?" he asked in awe.

"A vision" she replied, "Edward has caught enough food to return tomorrow."

"Really?" Dean exclaimed, "That's really good. Right?"

She laughed, "Yes, it is" she brushed a strand of hair behind her ear "I miss Jasper as much as you miss Edward."

Dean smiled "Cool, so can we go some place warm now?"

She smiled back "Of course."

**XoXoXoX**

The sound of rain woke Dean; he rolled over to face the window. Rain splattered against the fog-covered glass and pounded down on the roof. Dean sighed heavily, he had enjoyed the sunshine but it hadn't lasted long enough. Forks was once again shadowed in darkness but it didn't matter, Edward was coming home today. He'd only been gone a day or so, but he had caught enough to return to Dean and he couldn't wait to feel his lips against Edward's. To feel his cold hands caress his face and to hear his soft voice, which soothed his worries.

Dean slowly sat up, just in time to see the bedroom door swing open. Edward appeared, dressed in a grey coat with a black shirt underneath it and light denim jeans. His clothes however were not important, Dean longed to gaze into his eyes and he found himself staring into the golden pools. They were very bright, sparkling in the dull light. His perfect red lips formed a smile and he made his way to Dean, sitting down beside him and pressing his lips hungrily against his.

Edward pushed Dean back against his pillows and gently crawled on top of him, pinning him beneath his icy body. Dean moaned into the kiss, drinking in the passion and the burning fire. Dean felt Edward's hand slip under his shirt and run over his toned chest. Edward ended the kiss and sat up, straddling Dean. He swiftly removed his jacket, letting it drop to the floor before he returning his lips to Dean's. His tongue slipped into his mouth but there was no battle for domination, just the need to fill their hunger.

Dean's fingers caught the hem of Edward's shirt, tugging it upwards. Edward gripped Dean's hand and pushed them down, his lips never leaving Dean's. Edward took his shirt off in a blink of eye and it disappeared before Dean even realised it was gone. He ran his hands over Edward's marble chest, feeling the coolness beneath his fingertips. Dean sat up, taking a fistful of hair and pressed his lips to young vampires in a feverish kiss. They fell back onto the mattress, Dean rolled them over so he was on top, pinning Edward beneath him.

He started to nibble at Edward's neck while fumbling with the zip on his jeans. Edward made a small noise in the back of his throat, as Dean's hand brushed over is erection. He pulled the zipper down, slowly, so damn slowly, and Edward made a noise that seemed to say 'go faster' and Dean willingly obliged. With one swift motion the vampire's pants were around his knees. Dean's hands ran up Edward's inner thigh, his fingers lightly brushed over his entrance before slowly bringing them back up. Edward took Dean's hand into his own, kissing each finger tenderly. Dean withdrew his hand then reached over to the bedside table to pull out the lube.

Edward took Dean's hand and squeezed the gel onto his fingers. Dean then slid his hand back down, tracing softly around Edward's entrance before he slowly slipped the digit in. Edward gasped and bucked against Dean's touch. Dean slowly slipped in another finger, making Edward moan loudly which caused his own erection to ache. Dean had longed for this and it was tempting just to strip off his sweat pants and go for it. He had to get Edward ready though. He added a third finger, stretching him even wider. Dean scissored his fingers, brushing against the bundle of nerves just so, driving his lover crazy.

"Just… God Dean, just do it already!" Edward panted, looking up at Dean with pleading eyes.

Dean kissed his lover then wiggled out of his pants, throwing them to the floor. Dean stared longing into Edward's pools of gold; a perfect smile graced the vampires face just as his icy hands stroked his erection. Dean groaned loudly as Edward coated his member in the cool gel. He positioned himself then entered the vampire slowly, giving his body time to adjust to the new feeling. Edward gripped Dean's hips and forced him in deeper, a cry escaping them both. They both took a second to adjust then Dean started to thrust in and out, slowly at first then he quickened. Dean took Edward's member into his hand, slowly stroking it in time with his thrusts.

Dean kissed Edward hungrily while the pleasure took hold of him, pulling him into a world were there were no troubles. Each thrust was ecstatic, each kiss heaven. He became so lost in the passion, the world around him slipping away. Dean cried out Edward's name as he reached his end and Edward followed after, Dean's name leaving his lips. Dean collapsed panting heavily next to Edward, who was gazing. He pulled Dean into his strong embrace and kissed his forehead. Dean closed his eyes and drank in the love.

"I love you" Dean murmured.

"I love you too," Edward said, his voice lulling Dean to sleep.

**XoXoXoX**

The rain fell heavily against the windows, thunder roared in the night sky and the only light was coming from a few candles that sat on top of the large piano. Edward's fingers danced over the keys and a beautiful melody filled the air. Dean watched Edward from a couch that stood near the large window. He closed his eyes, the soft music carrying him to a place where he felt safe. Dean had always had a taste for rock and would have laughed at the thought of listening, let alone liking, someone play the piano. But Edward's music took him to a place where he felt safe, a place where evil didn't dwell.

He opened his eyes and walked over to Edward, taking a seat beside him. He glanced up at Dean with his sparkling eyes, a smile gracing his face. Dean mirrored the smile before kissing the young vampire passionately. The music ceased, Edward's hand left the keys and found Dean's beatings heart.

"It beats for you" Dean whispered.

Edward's eyes meet Dean's "If I had one, it would surely beat for you."

Dean's lips whispered over Edward's "Keep playing."

Edward turned back to the piano and the sweet music filled the air. Dean closed his eyes and let the melody take him away, take _them_ away. Dean reopened his eyes and sighed heavily. Edward's hands left the piano; he turned to face Dean, his gold eyes clouded with concern. Dean smiled at him, a smile saying 'I am fine'.

"Are you sure?" Edward asked.

"Positive" he replied, "What are you playing by the way."

Edward looked away sheepishly and if he could blush he probably would have "Its something I wrote… for you."

"For me?" Dean asked surprised.

"Yeah, it… it's a song about how much you mean to me" he took Dean's hand "how you are my life."

Dean smiled "does it have a name?"

Edward chuckled "Dean's Lullaby."

Dean squeezed Edward's hand "Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me."


	12. Chapter 12 My Heart

**You got it, You got it  
Some kind of magic  
Hypnotic, Hypnotic  
You're leaving me breathless**

**Paramore: **_**I Caught Myself**_

**Chapter XII: My Heart**

Dean stared up the ceiling, the sound of rain the only noise. His fingers stroked the figure in his arms, running over the icy skin of the vampire who he loved more then life itself. He felt his lover shift then he rolled over to face him, his eyes bright in the morning sun that was trickling through the curtain. The sun kissed his skin, turning it into thousands of diamonds. Dean ran his hand over Edward's arm, feeling the smooth merble skin beneath his dried and cracked fingertips. Edward's lips brushed over Dean's, sending chills through his body. Edward led a trail of kisses down Dean's neck, leaving small marks behind.

His lips meet Dean's again, this time the kiss held burning desire. Their naked bodies pressed close together, Dean's heart beating against Edward's still one. The passion slowly pulled them away from the world, taking them to a place where they both felt safe. Dean ended the kiss and pulled Edward into his arms.

The sun disappeared behind a cloud and the room became shadowed in darkness. Dean breathed in Edward's scent, the smell never growing old. Edward chuckled softly, his cool nose rubbing against Dean's. Their hands entwined and the legs tangled. Dean closed his eyes and drank in the moment, a moment that he would remember forever.

"Forever is a long time" Edward whispered "Didn't mean to pry but your thoughts… they are getting easier to read, but not much" he chuckled softly at the last part.

Dean smiled "well it's good to know" he slowly sat up, stretching his back "I need a shower" he stood up then turned to face Edward.

"And I'll make you something to eat" he said pulling on a long sleeve grey shirt "and" he looked to the window "if it storms today we can play baseball."

"Baseball?" Dean exclaimed, "Vampires play baseball?"

"That we do" he grinned "now, go shower and I'll cook."

"Alright, alright" Dean returned the grin then walked to the bathroom, laughing under his breath about vampires playing baseball.

**XoXoXoX**

The cool breeze drifted through the open windows, the curtains swayed to the wind and the broken chimes rattled. The smell of rain clung to the air; ice had formed on the front porch, making the steps slippery. Dean sat in the lounge room, a hot chocolate to his left and Edward to his right. The TV was on but Dean wasn't paying it any attention, his mind elsewhere. He was still fretting over his father, he'd been so calm, far to calm and that scared Dean more then the thought of his father in a murderous rage. He was John Winchester for God's sake and he just turned and left while knowing very well that vampires in fact inhabited the town. John Winchester killed the supernatural; he had for nineteen years and five and a half months and he had just left.

Why, was the burning question Dean wanted to ask but he knew he'd get no answer. Well ok, he didn't know, he hadn't tried calling his father since he left, but Dean figured he didn't want to talk to him. Since he had lied to him, kept a deadly secret, hell he crossed the line. He did this all for love and as he gazed at Edward his steam train of thoughts came to a halt. He didn't know what it was or how he did it, but Edward's presence always eased Dean's worries. His kisses took away the pain and his love kept him breathing. He was Dean's life and it was all so cheesy to Dean but it was true and it didn't bother him.

He felt the tension vanish but the echo of his worries still clung to him. He couldn't change what happened, he decided, his father left and if he was going to kill Edward he'd have to come back and Dean would know about it. No point of stressing over something that had yet to come and might not. He turned his attention to the TV, some sappy daytime TV show was on and he found himself laughing. To someone on the outside that was what Dean's life must have looked like, a sappy daytime soap. Only it was R rated.

"What's so funny?" Edward asked.

"Oh nothing" Dean said smiling "So, are we getting that storm?

Edward went to speak when his phone vibrated; he picked up the fancy device and answered the call, only sharing a few words. "In about ten, fifteen minutes" he said to Dean as he pulled him to his feet. They grabbed their coats then headed outside, climbing into the large hummer. The engine roared to life and the tyres spun, as Edward tore off at speeds no human would go at. Dean watched the forest go by as he and Edward drove deep into the forest. The tree loomed over hiding them in darkness.

As they neared the end of the winding road Dean could see a large open field. The sky was even darker now; it occasionally lit up with sheet lighting, which was followed by a loud crash of thunder. The car came to a stop in the open field, the Cullen family stood a few feet away, Rosalie, Emmet and Jasper all held bats and Alice, Esme and Carlisle wore baseball mitts. Dean and Edward jumped out of the car and went to join them, Dean could feel the resentment roll of Rosalie as soon as he stepped out of the car. He didn't care though; he wasn't out to impress her.

"So glad you came" Esme said cheerfully to Dean "You're gonna love it."

Dean smiled his cocky grin "well the idea of vampires playing baseball amuses me, so I'm sure I will."

"Funny" Rosalie muttered as she walked past Dean "Got a real comedian there Edward" she scoffed over her shoulder.

"Ignore her" Edward muttered "and just have fun."

"I do" he smirked "and I will."

"Alright, oh just stand back and cover your ears."

"My ears, why?"

"You'll see" he mirrored Dean's previous cocky grin before departing out onto the field, where Rosalie, Alice and Emmet stood.

"Let the game begin" Carlisle shouted above the roar of the thunder.

Dean watched the game with bewilderment. It wasn't like watching any normal baseball game, they moved around the field so fast, in nothing but blurs but it was exciting. Whenever they hit the ball they sent it flying, literally, it would knock down any tree in its path and they had even distorted it at one stage. Lucky they had spares, and lucky they had the thunder. When Edward and Emmet had jumped into the air after the ball they had collided with one another and it was as loud as the thunder in the sky. It also helped to hide the crush of trees caused by both the ball and the vampires. To sum it all up, this was the best baseball game Dean had ever watched. It was everything sports should be; if only the world would accept vampires; think of the money they'd make.

Vampire Baseball? The world wasn't ready for it, the truths that were hidden in the night where hidden for a reason, but maybe one day the world would be ready to know. But for now, the Cullen family played baseball in thunderstorms and Dean sat watching and maybe one day, soon but far, Dean would be playing too.

**XoXoXoX**

The game ended a few hours later and Dean and Edward were heading back to the Cullen's. Dean was driving this time, since he didn't get to play; he got to tear up the road instead. He enjoyed the feel of the bumpy road beneath him and the quiet sound of the engine, he'd never get rid of the Impala, she was Dean's baby, but he wouldn't complain about the Hummer. He saw Edward twitching beside him, Dean wasn't used to this vehicle and he wasn't about to go full speed through the muddy forest. Which annoyed Edward since he always sped in a cars and hey, Dean was a speedster too but he didn't know this car like he did the Impala and he'd much rather live then die in a horrible car crash.

"Esme will cook your food" Edward spoke, ending the silence "she loves being able to cook for someone, just make sure Rose doesn't poison it" he added with a laugh.

"Do you think she will?" Dean asked seriously.

"If she does she won't be breathing, not that we breathe anyway."

Dean's eyes shoot to Edward "You don't breathe?"

"Ah… no" he sat sitting up straighter "didn't I tell you?"

"Ah no" he said looking back to the road "so you never sleep, never breathe and you can sit as still as a statue, oh and you're the best at baseball, great at playing the piano and cooking and so, _so_ much more."

Edward laughed dryly "I'm not great nor I am good, I can just do those things and I am certainly not the best of anything."

"Yes you are" Dean protested "and you're smarter then Sam, now that's saying something there."

Edward shook his head and waved away the complements "you're angry with Sam for leaving, aren't you?"

Dean bit his lip, his eyes staying glued to the winding road "Yeah I was… I guess."

"He made you feel abandoned" Edward spoke softly "Left you to face this world by yourself."

"Pretty much" Dean said nodding his head absentmindedly "But, hey, he's my kid brother, I'd do anything for him and he never liked this life, always wanted to be 'normal', so good for him."

"Do you want to be normal?" Edward asked cautiously.

Dean pulled the car to the side of the dirt road then faced Edward "No… no I don't" a hint of a smile lightened his face "I mean, I'm dating a vampire so I can't be too worried about normal right?"

"No, I guess not" Edward sighed deeply "are you still thinking about becoming a vampire?"

Dean grinned now, his cocky grin that would light up any room "Only if you'll have me forever."

Edward lent over and kissed Dean, a kiss that was alive with timeless passion. He pulled back and smiled at Dean, who was smiling back with a smile that said _I love you_ and so much more "I'll have you forever and beyond."

**XoXoXoX**

The thunder roared in the night sky, the rain poured down, drenching the ground and anyone caught in it. Dean watched as the rain splashed on the many windows of the Cullen's home. Dean and Edward sat in a large lounge room, a fire burning before them, spreading warmth through the room. Dean lay with Edward, their bodies close together. Dean's heart beating against Edward's frozen one. They occasionally shared kisses but mainly stayed silent. Enjoying the comfort and love they bought to one another.

Dean felt all his worries slip away, fading to blank, all this possible just because he was in Edward's arms. He had _needed_ this for so long, he had been dying, _fading away_, all from the lack of love in his life. He had been frozen, turned colder than Edward but all he needed were three words whispered to him. To feel the passion and fire of a kiss, to feel the pleasure of true love, to have someone hold him in their arms. He had needed love to survive and without he would have died.

Edward's lips pressed against Dean's, the fire ignited and he felt another piece of ice fall from his heart. He felt Edward's tongue trace along his lip, asking for entrance. They explored each other's mouths, not fighting for domination, just savouring the passion. Dean pinned his lovers body beneath him, his hands slipping under his buttoned up shirt. Dean ended the kiss to nibble at his lover's neck, biting and sucking the icy skin. Dean felt Edward shiver beneath him and his hands found the hem of Dean's shirt before pulling it half way up. His short nails scratching at Dean's skin and sending shivers through Dean's body.

Dean's jacket and shirt was ripped off and he was on his back with Edward pinning him down before he knew what happened. He kissed Dean with heated passion, his hands roaming freely over Dean's toned chest. Dean found himself fumbling with Edward's buttons, trying to get them off fast but failing. Edward took his hands and pushed them to his side. Edward removed his shirt without breaking the kiss then moved onto unzipping Dean's jeans. His hand brushing his growing erection.

"I'm going to make you forget everything," he whispered into Dean's ear "I'll make every bad memory go away, I promise my love."

Dean's only response was a moan that was silenced by Edward's perfect lips. This kiss truly did take away all of Dean's memories, forcing all the bad days, the bad hunts into a remote corner of his mind, where they would stay until Edward was done. He could feel Edward remove his jeans; they were gone in no time, vampires in their damn speed. The next thing to be removed were his boxers and he was lying naked under Edward's iced body. The fire and the heat of the passion the only thing keeping him warm.

Dean felt Edward shift, sliding lower and lower until he was only an inch away from Dean's hard member. Edward ran his tongue over Dean's member, a shiver ran up Dean's spine and he gripped his lover's hair tightly. Edward opened his mouth and took all of him in. Dean cried out and started to thrust into the wet heat. He was shivering with pleasure and moaning incoherent words as the vampire worked his magic. Dean was sure he was calling out Edward's name over and over and he was sure as hell every vampire in the house could hear it but he didn't care, just as long as Edward didn't stop.

But he did. He was kissing Dean feverishly; he could taste himself in the kiss but longed for Edward to stay. He longed to feel Edward's mouth wrapped around his aching member again. He heard Edward chuckle and he said something about he wasn't finished. Edward's lips left Dean's but only for a second then he was kissing him and Dean was forgetting the horrors of the world. He felt something being applied to his fingers and he opened his eyes to see Edward was coating them with lube. He smirked at the vampire before running his palm down his stomach and slipping it between Edward's legs. Edward groaned softly as he pushed his body down on Dean's finger. He added two more and slowly pulled them in and out, making Edward cry out.

Dean kissed Edward softly as he removed his fingers and helped him position himself above Dean's member. His lover slowly lowered himself taking a few seconds to get use to the still new feeling. Once everything felt right he lifted himself up then back down then repeated it until he picked up a steady rhythm. They kissed feverishly, their tongues battling each other. Dean's hands rested on Edward's hips, helping him to lift himself up, not that he needed it. Dean took Edward's shaft into his hands and stroked it in time with each thrust.

They kissed, nibbled and bit at each other's skin as they neared the end. They held each other close, their lips pressed together in a tight kiss. Finally they both came. Dean came hot and sticky inside of Edward and he followed after, coming on Dean's stomach and his own. Edward slid off Dean, grabbed the blanket from the foot of the couch before nestling beside him on the large couch. Dean snuggled into Edward, enjoying the coolness from his skin on one side and the heat of the fire on the other. He closed his eyes and was lulled to sleep by Edward's soft humming and the peace of not having one haunting memory in his mind.

**XoXoXoX**

Dean woke to find himself tangled in the blanket and covered with sweat from head to toe. He panted heavily and all he saw was red, all he saw was blood. He could hear her scream in his mind, hear their screams, images of a girl flashed in his mind and he ground the palms of his hands into his eyes in hopes of making them leave. They only got worse. The screams grew louder and the images became clearer and he fought so hard for so long to keep them at bay, but this town, it reminded him of it, _of her_. The rain, the roaring thunder, the darkness, it bought back the one memory Dean had tried to hide for so long.

He felt cold hands on his body, a voice smooth as velvet called to him. The soft voice chased away the images and the screams and he found himself staring into gold. Gold eyes filled with concern. Edward pulled Dean into his arms and for the first time in what felt like a lifetime he cried. He let out all the pain, the sorrow, the fear and the anger. His body shook from sobs and tears soaked Edward's shoulder but he only held him tighter. Rocking them both back and forth gently. His voice the only clear thing to Dean.

After a few minutes Dean wiped the tears away from his now red eyes and stared at Edward. Edward smiled sympathetically at Dean before lying them both back down and covering them with the blanket. He stayed silent and Dean composed himself. He turned to face him now, the last of the dying flames shimmered in his eyes. He looked into Edward's eyes and saw undying love and with that he felt comfortable letting out the story he had kept for so long.

"It was on a hunt a few years ago" he started, his voice low in volume but Edward didn't have to strain to here the words "I was eighteen and… and dad came home… back to the motel and said he had a hunt. I was up for it, the town was some backwater shit hole and I wanted to get out, I was going insane. So I said let's go and Sammy" Dean chuckled bleakly "Sammy got so mad, he had just made a friend and he wanted to stay" Dean paused, he spoke louder now "I dragged him to the car, practically kicking and screaming and I was _so_ mad at him" he shook his head "anyway we drove off, heading to our new 'home' and 'job'. It was a haunting, some poor bastard had just moved into this house and he got ganked by his wife… God I don't remember how or even who was haunting it I just remembered that… that it fed on anger."

He looked away now, his eyes clouding with shame "They had two daughters, Jane and Abby, and they were so happy. They had a home, a mum, a dad, friends" he wiped angrily at his tears "Dad and I had arrived there after we heard they had complained of strange things happening… we usual tell them bullshit stories… but these people… _this family_… they believed, they new, it was a spirit" he took a shuddered breath. "They let us in and I watched those girls all day, they were normal and I was so angry! Why couldn't Sammy and I have this, why couldn't we have a home and a family."

He looked at Edward now, the flames now longer shined in his eyes "That night the spirit showed and… and it put me under a spell or something and… and I killed Abby" Dean let a single tear run unchecked down his cheek "I was so pissed that I, that Sam and I, couldn't have this life that I killed her and I would have killed them all if it weren't for dad" he choked on a sob. "He killed the spirit and the spell broke and I… I remember looking down at her… there was blood everywhere, on the walls, the floor, her" another tear fell "me… and I just screamed and I could hear her parents scream and I wanted to stop screaming and just run but I couldn't. I was so horrified at what I had done."

Edward cupped Dean's chin in the crock of his fingers "It wasn't your fault Dean, you were under a spell."

"But I was angry with them for being normal" anger flickered in his eyes "I had no right to be!"

"You had every right Dean" Edward spoke gently "it's not fair that you had to become a hunter, it's not fair that your mother died and it's not fair you never knew a home, a safe place to return too. You were angry for all you have been wrongly taken of and you _have_ every right to be but it is not your fault." he smiled half-heartily and Dean mirrored it "anger is what gets the better of us Dean" he chuckled dryly "It's what makes us so vulnerable."

"I shouldn't have let it get the better of me" Dean choked.

"We can't help it sometimes" Edward kissed Dean's forehead "it wasn't your fault, that spirit would have targeted someone else in the family and they would have all died if you didn't show."

"I still killed her" he looked away again "I killed her because I wanted them to know what it felt like to feel loss."

"The spirit still made you do it, it infused your anger and it drove you to kill her, it wasn't you Dean."

"How can I forgive myself?"

"You've already started" Edward said pulling Dean close to him "Just by telling me, you've started to heal and you will forgive yourself in time."

Dean wiped away another stray tear then snuggled into Edward, feeling exhausted from the emotions. He closed his eyes and he no longer saw the blood or heard the screams.

He saw a way to forgive himself.


	13. Chapter 13 Final Decision

**They don't know  
They can't see  
Who we are  
Fear is the enemy  
Hold on tight  
Hold on to me  
'Cause tonight  
It's all about us**

**TaTu: _All About Us_**

**Chapter XIII: Final Decision **

Everything was perfect.

Dean felt like he was living a whole new life, all the pain and sorrow long gone, all the fear and loneliness gone, all replaced by love. Life was in every way and every sense perfect. No more demons, no more shabby motels and no more hunts. Dean had found his home, he had found the family he had wanted for so long and he found the love he had needed. For Dean Winchester life was perfect and it was normal, even though it was far from it. Edward was what he had needed, he had _needed _to feel human, loved and cared for. He had been breaking when he arrived in Forks, frozen from the pain. He'd been a lost soul looking for someone to love, to treasure, to hold forever.

To _have_ forever…

Dean had been with Edward for five months now, five _perfect_ months. He'd seen all of Forks, from high above and down below, he'd sat at the tops of trees, staring at the large forests and lake. He'd been in caves that no one knew of, he'd been to places he never imagined he would see. He'd found the life, the family, he had wanted for so long. He felt for once like he belonged in this world, he knew his reason to be here was no just to fight demons. He'd found the life he was meant to live, the life he would live forever.

He'd made up his mind, spent a long time thinking about it, wondering what would happen, what would change, everything would change, but for the best. Dean had made his mind up, he wanted to become a vampire, he wanted to live forever with Edward and the Cullen's. He wanted this, no, he _needed_ this. He was ready to become a vampire; he was ready to spend forever with Edward and as he gazed into the fire and listened to the rain come down, he smiled. He could see his future, it was bright, he knew it.

**XoXoXoX**

The sky stretched out before Dean, the smell of rain clung to the damp air and thunder roared loudly in the distance. Dean stared at the sky, at the dark clouds, it was quiet, silent. It didn't scream at him now, it was just silence, no whirlwind of thoughts and no images of haunting memories, just perfect silence. He closed his eyes taking in the smell of the rain and the smell that was Edward. Dean opened his eyes to stare into Edward's golden orbs, they were dull today, he grew thirsty. Tomorrow he would go hunting, leaving Dean behind but not forgotten. He smiled at Edward, who mirrored it, only Edward's smile could, _would, _make any persons heart jump. Dean wondered what he'd be like as a vampire. Would he be as beautiful as Edward, as strong or as fast?

"You are beautiful," Edward said propping himself up on his elbow so he could gaze down at Dean.

"Mind readers" Dean scoffed jokingly.

"I still can't read you correctly, even though I now that your mind is clearer now, you must just have a thick scull."

Dean laughed, "I must" he agreed, "I've fallen on it enough."

"I know you want me to turn you" Edward said suddenly "are you one hundred percent sure on this?"

"Yes" he propped himself up on his elbow and stared at Edward levelly.

"Then I will" he bowed his head, his lips inches for Dean's "when I return from hunting, I will turn you."

Dean closed the gap between them. Dean lost himself in the kiss, in the passion and love that ignited every kiss and every touch between them. The world around them disappeared; it was about them, all about them. They were soul mates, made for each other and their love would burn for all eternity.

**XoXoXoX**

The sun was out, shining brightly through the large windows of the house that Dean had moved into five months ago. It wasn't just a house though, it was a home, one of the things he had so _desperately_ wanted. He'd gotten everything he wanted; a life, a home, a family and most importantly he found some to love. He had every thing he needed in Forks but he still struggled with the thought of leaving his father and Sam behind. He would live forever after Monday and Sam and his father would die. He'd have to watch them grow old, watch them die and that thought made him think again about living forever. He would gain a lot though, he would have a new family, he would have Edward, the most important person in his life.

His father and Sam would die though. He hadn't spoken to Sam since he left for Stanford and he hadn't seen or heard from his dad since he learnt Dean's secret, learnt of his love for a vampire. He'd just gone and Dean hadn't heard a word from his since, hell he hadn't even heard from Bobby. It was like he was forgotten. After he did so much for his dad and Sam they just forgot him. They didn't care, didn't give a damn about him. He didn't need them; he had Edward and the Cullen's.

On Monday morning Dean Winchester would become a vampire and that was that. He wasn't changing his mind; he would become a vampire, no ifs or buts.

**XoXoXoX**

Dean and Alice walked through the main street of town, once again she, Esme and Rosalie had gone hunting earlier so they could stay with Dean while Edward hunted. The sun had disappeared after midday and Alice had come to Dean's and asked if he would like to head into town. He'd had nothing better to do then sit around the house and his time with Alice was always, well different. She was a unique person or rather vampire and Dean enjoyed her company, she was in many ways the sister he never had.

They walked down the street, the rain still holding back. Alice had taken Dean to an antique bookshop, which he didn't find overly exciting but it reminded him of Sam. He would have loved the place; it was filled with books on just about everything. Sam would differently have loved it. Maybe, _maybe_ Dean could show Sam it one day, if Sam would even come near Dean after he became a vampire. And as he and Alice headed to another shop Dean wondered if Sam would still see him the same after he changed. He was Dean's brother and surely he'd love Dean whether he was a vampire or cat, right?

Dean cleared his mind of his worries, he hadn't heard from Sam in ages, why would he suddenly come back? He wouldn't, he had a new life now, most likely a new family as well, but so did Dean. Only his wasn't normal, which Dean accepted, he was never going to fit in with normal. As he and Alice entered the coffee shop he let all thoughts leave him, he'd enjoy his time with Alice.

They sat in a booth, Dean ordered a coffee, as did Alice, but she would not drink it, it was more for show. Alice turned to gaze out the window as Dean stared down at his hands. He'd left some worries behind but something still troubled him. The thing that troubled him the most was what would happen after he became a vampire. Edward had said new born's were hard to control of not impossible, but Edward had assured Dean he would not let him harm anyone, but it would be a long time until he was himself again.

Which meant he probably wouldn't even be interested in Edward, he'd just be after blood. He'd seek it, _need it_, he'd want it more then anything and Dean couldn't imagine wanting anything more then Edward. They had said he might not be himself though; he'd be consumed with blood lust and for a long time it would control him. He didn't want that, he hated the thought of not being with Edward but not being in control, not being able to love him. Though in the end he would return to normal (well as normal as a vampires gets) and he and Edward would be fine.

"Alice?"

"Yes Dean?"

"How can I stop myself from having so much blood lust after I turn?"

"I really don't know Dean" she said, "I don't even remember being turned let alone the aftermath of it."

"What do you remember?"

"Waking up in a field," she replied, "God knows what happened before that, I don't even know how long I've been a vampire."

"I wonder what happened" Dean pondered aloud.

"So do I" she sighed "every day I do."

"Maybe you forgot for a reason" Dean said gradually.

"I suppose so" she said looking away then looking back with cheer in her eyes "But I am excited, to have you become one of us."

"Well thank you" Dean said smiling "Bet Rose isn't though."

"She'll get over it" Alice assured "well maybe… just ignore her."

"I feel bad though, she'll be my family, I don't ignore family" a knot twisted in his stomach, he doesn't ignore family? Well he did and he betrayed them as well, he was about to do something that neither his father nor Sammy would approve of. But he needed this, he needed this new start, God he _needed _Edward and one lifetime was not enough. Maybe he should try and call them, say goodbye or something, God what the hell was he meant to say. 'Oh hey, just calling to let you know I'm being turned into a vampire on Monday, come visit me soon.' Yeah, that wouldn't work, but that was the truth and they deserved that at least.

"Dean" Alice's sing-song voice broke into his muddled mind "You'll be ok."

He smiled half-heartily at her "Thank you Alice."

**XoXoXoX**

Dean stared at his cell, he had gone to call his dad five times already but on each time he recoiled his hand and started to gnaw at his lip. He had to do this; he had to at least tell his father what he was doing. He wanted to tell Sam but he lived in the 'normal world' now and a phone call from Dean, to say he was going to become a vampire just didn't fit Sam's new life. He didn't have to know; he hadn't called Dean since he left, so why should he get to know? He wouldn't tell Sam, he had to tell John though. He was Dean's father he had a right to know.

Dean reached a shaky hand to his phone and dialled the number before he changed his mind. With no surprise his father didn't answer and Dean was left searching for words. His head spinning and his stomach churning. He took a gulp of air and forced himself to speak, to tell his father what he was doing.

"Dad" he said, his voice quivering "I know you're pissed at me and you have every right to be but… but I want you to know that I'm happy… I really am… and… and I… I've decided to become a vampire" he felt his hand shake "You can hate me, hell you can even come here and try and kill me but I am so happy right now… I have Edward and it's what I've wanted, what I've _needed_ for so long" he cleared his throat and blinked away the tears "I love you dad and I hope you can forgive me, but I have to do this."

He hung up the phone and placed it back on the table. He drew in a deep breath and composed himself, he would be ok, his dad would get the message and… well Dean had no idea but he didn't care. After Monday he started his new life.

**XoXoXoX**

Dean found himself staring at the ceiling, it was ten past two in the morning, the only sound the drizzling rain. He found himself thinking about Monday and what would happen after. Everything was about to change, he was going to become something he had hunted, something he had hated and it was terrifying and exciting all at the same time. He was excited to become a vampire, the way they moved was so easy and they could run and jump fast and far and he was excited to do all that himself. The part that terrified him the most was the blood lust and the fact he would live forever and one day he'd have to burry his father and Sammy and he'd keep living, _forever_.

He wouldn't get to say goodbye, he doubted he'd ever see them again. His father would want nothing to do with them and Sam wanted normal, so Dean rocking up, as a vampire, would certainly be un-normal and Sam didn't want that and he didn't want that for Sam. Sam had normal and Dean had the un-normal, they were both happy, well he hoped Sam was happy, the point was they both had what they wanted and they could be happy. Dean could become a vampire and Sam would be some big shot lawyer. They could live happily every after. God that sounded stupid, 'happily ever after' that wasn't what Dean would have thought awaited him.

But happily ever after did await Dean.

So why couldn't he just close his eyes, go to sleep and accept his fate. He wanted so much to be a vampire, to be with Edward forever so why the hell did he keep wresting with these thoughts. Sam and his father didn't care, they'd left, _they'd left_ Dean and they weren't coming back and they didn't care about him. The Cullen's were Dean's family now, a family who loved him and would do anything for him and they would do anything, after all they were turning him. And for the last time, he was being turned, he would be. He closed his eyes and willed himself to sleep, oblivious to the danger that lingered in the future.

**XoXoXoX**

When morning came Dean awoke to a somewhat sunny day. The sun forced its way through the clouds, shining down on the house and drying the damp grass. Dean sat at the kitchen table drinking a strong coffee and flipping through the morning paper. A smile graced his face as he remembered how five months ago he sat down to the paper and found this hunt. He'd come here to kill not to find love, he'd been shattered and broken and he felt as cold as his lovers skin. He'd found comfort in alcohol and one stands, seeking the numbness of the booze and the comfort of a human touch. He'd missed it, he'd longed for it and now he had it all.

He took a sip of his coffee and sighed heavily. Life was perfect now, it was everything he had wanted but never dared to dream of. He was in a world of perfection; a dream that was never ending and all the dangers of the world seemed to disappear. He'd found himself relax so much in the last five months, he didn't look around the room at the slightest noise, he was still a trained hunter, a trained killer, but he no longer saw evil everywhere he looked. He saw the world the way it should be seen.

A sudden bang startled Dean and he was grateful that he still had the skills of a hunter; he just no longer had the obsession of one. He stood up and walked to the door where the bang had come from, he was caught off guard and knocked to the ground by a swift kick to the gut. He crumpled to the ground, he felt like he had just been kicked by a man made of steel, though you didn't have to be made of steel to kick with such force. He looked up to see Rosalie standing above him, her blond hair fell messily over her face and she had a look of despair in her golden orbs.

"What the hell?" Dean wheezed.

"Why are you doing this?" she hurled him to his feet, holding him two feet off the ground "why are you giving away your life?" She pulled out a chair with one hand then dropped him onto it "You are so lucky Dean! You should be grateful."

"What the fuck is your problem?" Dean tried to shout "You've hated me since day one and now you're beating me up, what did I do to you?"

"You came to this town" she pulled out a chair and sat down gracefully, despite her anger "you fell in love with Edward, you're a hunter, your brother and father are hunters and Daddy dearest knows about us so if Monday goes wrong he will come back here and our family will be slaughtered" she paused to calm herself, here eyes had turned black from rage. "You will kill us Dean Winchester."

"No I won't" he said darkly "this isn't about me, it's about you" he leaned towards her, ignoring the sharp pains in his stomach "ever since I met you, I knew you didn't like being a vampire, I knew you'd rather be human. But I don't, I want to be like you."

"No you don't" she said, and her shoulders were shaking as if she were crying but no tears fell "You have to watch your family die, you have to watch the people you meet and befriend die while you live forever. You can never have children of your own, you have to watch women, mothers and… and you get to watch their children grow old and die and you never get to have that" she looked like she was going to cry or was already crying but still there were no tears "you don't want this."

Dean cleared his throat; he had no idea what to say so he asked the question that had been burning since he met her "How did you become a vampire?"

She looked away, shame clouding her eyes "When I was eighteen, it was back in the 60's, I was attacked, abused and left for dead" Dean could see she was still hiding something but he didn't press his luck "Carlisle found me and turned me… I never saw my family again, not face to face, they thought I had died. I never got to have the children I so desperately wanted."

"We don't always get what we want" Dean said cautiously "but we get what we need."

She looked back now; anger and sadness clouded her eyes "You wouldn't say that if-"

"-If I were abused?" he asked softly "I have no idea what you must have felt but I know what it's like to feel pain. I lost my mum when I was four and I never had a childhood, I never had a home or a real family, what I did have was shady motel rooms and the biggest responsibility. I had to look after Sammy, I had to watch him be a kid when I couldn't, I know what it's like to want and _need_ something so desperately."

"So you think this is the answer to your pain?" she asked, her soft voice quivering with sobs that had no tears to go with them "you think living forever as a blood sucking monster will make everything ok?"

"No" he said promptly, "I think living forever with Edward will though" a smile graced his face "he brings me happiness and I want to feel that forever."

"Even at the cost of everything else?"

"Well I don't have a lot of everything else, but yeah, even at the cost of everything else."

She nodded curtly then rose to her feet "Tell no one I was here" she went to turn away then stopped "Everything else is a lot Dean, make sure to remember that" and with that she was gone.

**Reviews are love**


	14. Chapter 14 Forever Will Have to Wait

**I'd give my heart, I'd give my soul.  
I'd turn it back, it's my fault.  
Your destiny is forlorn,  
Have to live till it's undone.  
I'd give my heart, I'd give my soul.  
I'd turn it back**

**Within Temptation: _Jillian_**

**Chapter ****XIV: Forever Will Have to Wait**

Sunday night found Dean and Edward high in the mountains, the bright stars twinkling above them. Edward had returned from hunting only hours ago, he'd been gone four days, making sure he was well fed for when he turned Dean, which would be tomorrow morning. Tonight Dean breathed his last breaths and his heart beat its final beats. He would not die tomorrow but he would be re-born, re-born into the family he dreamed of having. Tomorrow his life would start again and this time it wouldn't be filled with tragedy.

He gazed longingly at his lover, he breathed in his sent and felt himself fall into bliss. He wrapped his arms tighter around his love, bringing him closer, if it were even possible. He kissed Edward's softly on the head, his spiky hair brushing against Dean's face. He inhaled Edward's sent deeply; it was the most amazing smell. He found himself fighting sleep, it was perfect laying here, it was all he needed, and Edward's soft humming was lulling him to sleep. He felt Edward shift and before he new it, he was kissing him intensely, feeding on the burning passion.

Edward ended the kiss, Dean opened his heavy lids and stared up at him, he was smiling, the smile that made Dean's heart skip a beat. He felt the young vampire rest his hand on his chest; he knew Edward was listening to the thud of his heart. He lifted his head and kissed Dean again, the fire burned and the desire and lust spread through them like a disease. Dean lost himself in the moment, only stopping when he needed air.

Dean panted beneath Edward; he was gazing down at him, something unreadable in his eyes. Dean placed his hand on the side of his face, letting his lover lean into the touch. Edward seemed to be struggling with something, like he was trying to say something but the words wouldn't come to him. Dean waited though, and every second that ticked by made him more anxious.

"Remember how I said my father was a bastard," he finally said.

"Yeah" Dean said nodding, concern lacing his words.

"I never told anyone" he looked away "But I want to tell you" he looked back now, pain shining in his eyes.

Dean sat up, pulling Edward close to his body. He pressed his face into his lover's hair and waited for him to speak. The story Edward told Dean had him fighting back tears and holding him tightly against his chest. Edward spoke of his time alive, the life, like Dean, he was glad to leave behind. His family had been poor, his mother cold hearted and his father a monster. He had physically and verbally abused Edward from the age of five right up until he died of the Spanish influenza. He hadn't been a cruel man, he'd been a demon, only he was not being possessed. He'd abused Edward's mother, she had been constantly covered in bruises, as had he.

He'd been made to sleep outside or have freezing showers as certain punishments. He'd been called a loser, a brat, a horrible monster all his life; Dean knew who the monster was though. He'd suffered for years until he fell ill and was saved by Carlisle, spared from the pain and given a second chance. He'd spent many years getting over his childhood abuse and even know, many, many years later he still had trouble dealing with it. In the end Dean had tears running unchecked down his cheeks, he cried the tears that Edward could not.

The fell into silence after that, both lying on the rug, snuggled close together. They didn't need words, just the comfort they bought to each other. Dean stayed awake with his lover; he didn't dare close his eyes. He wanted to hold Edward forever and after tomorrow he could. _He would_. They stayed like this for hours, each to their own thoughts. Dean fought of sleep; he was so relaxed in his serene surroundings. He felt Edward tense suddenly, he could feel panic rolling of him.

"What's wrong?" Dean whispered inaudible, Edward could hear it though.

"We gotta go" Edward moved like lightening, standing up, pulling Dean onto his back all in a blink of an eye.

"What's wrong?" Dean shouted, he was moving through the forest at speeds beyond human.

"We're being hunted," he yelled back.

"By what?"

"Your kind!"

_My kind??_ Alarm bells rang in Dean's head and panic and fear twisted in his gut, he felt himself grip Edward tighter. Oh God, what had he done, he'd called his father and told him what he was doing and now, _now_ he was trying to kill Edward. Fuck. Why did he ring him, why did he tell him, fuck! He was about to lose everything, all because of his father's selfish obsession. He wasn't taking this from Dean, no way; _no way in hell_ was he taking Dean's family away from him. He'd die to keep the Cullen's safe; he'd _kill_ to keep the Cullen's safe.

Edward came to a sudden stop, Dean nearly flue over his head "what are we stopping for?"

"He's here" Edward whispered.

"What?" panic laced itself around Dean "How? How the hell did he move that fast?"

"I don't know" Edward said looking around "He's human, I can smell it, but… but he has speed to match mine."

"What do we do?"

Edward jumped into the air, landing gracefully in a tree high above the ground "we need to get back to the house" he said, panic clear in his tone "I'm sorry Dean, I'm-"

"-Don't be sorry" Dean interrupted "Don't ever be sorry."

Edward went to speak when the brunch snapped and they were soaring through the air again, this time they landed on the ground and Edward took off, his body rigid with fear. They world around Dean vanished, Edward was running faster then he had ever done before with Dean on his back. Dean closed his eyes and gripped on tight. Dean fell into a world of panic; his dad wasn't hunting him, so who the hell was it? And how the hell did they have speeds to match Edward's and yet they were still human? Dean had no answer to this, it wasn't a demon, they didn't run this fast and it wasn't a spirit because that theory was ridiculously.

They were being hunted by something human but with the speeds of the undead. It, he, she, whoever it was wanted to hurt Edward and his family. He wanted to hurt Dean's new family; well no way was that happening. Not with Dean around, he would protect this, _his_, family. As the neared the Cullen house Dean had already formed a plan. He just hoped to God it worked.

They raced into the glasshouse, Alice and Emmet greeted them, they both wore panicked expressions. They already knew, Dean could tell. Edward set Dean down and started to pace. The rest of the Cullen's joined them, Carlisle and Esme came to Dean's side, Esme had a steaming coffee in her delicate hand. Dean took it gratefully and took a sip of the hot liquid, letting it calm his nerves, though only ever so slightly.

"Son relax" Carlisle said placing a hand on Edward's shoulder "You're both safe now."

"Not for long though" he said looking his father in the eye. "I read his thoughts, he is obsessed with the hunt" Edward took a moment to calm himself, Dean could feel the anger and panic emit from him "He won't stop until he gets what he wants."

"So what do we?" Alice asked, her usual chipper voice dulled by worry.

"We leave" Edward said promptly.

"No!" Rosalie shouted "No way!"

"Rose" Carlisle turned to face his daughter and looked her levelly in the eye "we are in danger, we have no choice."

She didn't protest, instead she stormed out of the room, Emmet following her. Dean could feel the tension build; they all wore anxious expressions, each searching their mind for an answer. Dean hated the thought that they had to leave, they had a home here, he had a home here, it was time he told them of his plain.

"I know what we have to do" Dean said loud and clear.

"What is it?" the eldest vampire asked.

"I start hunting with the hunter" Dean said and before Edward could protest he silenced him "I will make him think I am working with him and when the time is right I'll kill him."

"Kill him?" Carlisle asked shocked "Dean you don't have-"

"-Yes I do."

"Dean it's to dangerous" Edward interjected "he is high on vampire blood, he will kill you."

"He's high on vampire blood?" Dean exclaimed, "Is that possible."

"Humans drink blood to gain our speed and strength, but only some can tolerate it" Esme explained in a serene tone "It's too dangerous for you to go up against a person like that Dean."

"No it's not" he said tersely "You are my family now, I'll do this for you" he looked a Edward now, "please let me do this for you" he was pleading, he knew it, but he'd do a lot more then plead to save this family.

"Ok" Edward caved "Ok."

**XoXoXoX**

Monday morning found Dean Winchester sitting at the breakfast table in the Cullen house. Edward sat beside him, he's brow furrowed in concern and his body rigid. Today Dean went in search of the hunter, who was after his family. He would befriend the hunter, make him think he was after the Cullen's too and when the right moment came he'd kill him. The only problem was that he was high on vampire blood, he had the speed and strength of a vampire, he didn't have the immunity though. A knife or a gun would be good enough to kill him with; Dean just had to do it quick.

Dean wanted this person dead, so he couldn't hurt his family and so he could be turned. Turning Dean today would be too dangerous, the hunter might know where they were and Dean would be helpless. So the sooner he found the hunter the soon he could start his new life. But he had no idea where to start; they had no idea who he or she was. Only the hunter's thoughts and the thoughts were to kill the vampires in this town. So until the hunter was killed Edward and the family had to lay low while Dean went looking for the person who wanted to murder the best people in his life.

"What if he saw you with me?" Edward asked.

"He didn't" Dean said and truth be told, he wasn't sure if he had been seen but he had to take a chance, he had to save his family.

"How do you know?" Edward asked, "He could of last night."

"Edward" Dean took his lovers cool hand into his warm one "I will be fine" he lent across the table and kissed him lightly on the lips "and as soon as I kill him I can be changed."

Edward smiled half-hearted "Please be safe, I can't loss you."

"You won't" Dean squeezed his hand for emphasis then rose to his feet "I have to go, I'll check the diner, he might be there."

"How will you know it's him?"

"Um… I have no idea."

"Are you going to walk up to everyone and ask if they're on a vampire hunt?" Edward quipped feebly.

"Yeah, I might do that" he grinned at his love.

"Or you could just ask me" came Alice's chipper voice.

"What'd you see?" Edward asked, his tone almost dangerous.

"A man in a red checker shirt, dark jeans" she closed her eyes "in a booth at Julie's diner, he would be a year or two older then Dean… tan skin and sandy hair with gold eyes" her eyes opened "he's still high on vampire blood, where is he getting it?"

"I have no idea" Dean said crossing his arms over his chest "did you get a name?"

"Jason, Jason Woodson."

**XoXoXoX**

Dean entered the diner, the smell of coffee and various foods tingled his senses, the sound of chattering filled his ears. He looked at the near-crowded room; families and couples occupied most of the booths and a few single man sat at the counter. He eyed them all carefully, scanning the room for Jason Woodson. He smiled politely at Julie as he passed her and made his way to the back of the diner where a lone man sat. Dean took one look and knew that it was Jason.

He moved to his table, he sat away from the crowds, eyes glued to some old book. Dean didn't even need Alice's vision to know that this guy was a hunter; he had the look of one and the style of one. Dean cleared his throat and the man looked up, his golden eyes spoiled by dark circles. Dean felt the hairs at the nape of his neck stand on end, this hunter was dangerous. A murderous look tainted his eyes.

"I'm Dean Winchester," he said clearly.

"Winchester" he scratched his chin "is your father John Winchester?"

"Yeah" Dean felt fear lace around him, what if he already knew Dean was with the vampires.

"Good man he is" he said reaching for his coffee "sit."

Dean sat down "So how do you know my dad?"

"Met him a few years ago" he said dryly "was on a hunt and he saved my ass, said I was too young to be hunting, which I guess I am, but I got nothing else."

Dean chewed at his lip, this man was just like Dean or rather how Dean had been, he'd changed now. He'd been changed by love and maybe if he hadn't been this would have been his future "Yeah, dad's always savin people."

"So why are you in Forks?"

"Having a break" he lied "needed it, why are you here? Are you hunting something?" he gestured to the books.

"Sure am," he said smiling sinisterly "Let me get you a coffee."

"Ah, thanks."

The hunter stood and walked off, leaving Dean with a bad vibe. Something about him was making Dean worry and Dean never worried, but this guy seemed, maybe crazy or slightly murderous. Dean closed his eyes and willed himself to stay calm, he had no need to be freaking out; he was a trained hunter himself. He could handle this guy, even if he was high on vampire blood.

"Here you go," he said handing Dean his drink.

"Thanks" he said before taking a deep drink of the hot liquid.

"You ever seen a vampire" he asked while thumbing through his book.

Dean cleared his throat "Uh no" he took another sip of his drink "never, you?"

"Heaps" he said not looking up "killed heaps too" he looked up now, a sense of danger ignited in Dean "They're monsters, even if they have you fooled."

"Yeah, I bet" Dean said, he could feel sweat beading at the nap of his neck and forehead.

"You've seen them before" Jason said, "You know them."

Dean felt panic spike within him and the room started to spin "What makes you say that?"

"Saw you last night" he said nonchalantly "with a male vampire" disgust stained his words "you're sick."

Dean felt his stomach twist into knots, he knew, shit he knew. Dean should just get out of here, make him follow him to Edward and they could finish him off there but when he went to run he couldn't. He felt like he was frozen, like each limb weighed a tone. The room started to spin faster and the hunters face turned into a blur of a colours. He heard a loud buzzing in his ears and a snickering laugh, he tried to fight off his sudden drowsiness but it was no use. The darkness took him.

**Please review :)**


	15. Chapter 15 You’ll Live in my Heart

**We love our tragedies.  
We're both broken in our own little ways  
We're broken and we fit together just right  
You know I saw the black inside your eyes  
I saw they were eclipsed that night,  
And they looked just right.**

**Evans Blue: **_**Eclipsed**_

**Chapter XV: You'll Live in my Heart**

When Dean woke, he found himself bound to a chair in what seemed to be an old farm shed. He went to call out but he was gagged and no one would even hear him. He could see the forest though the glass windows that allowed only a trickle of light to lift the darkness. He was in the forest somewhere, far from anyone, _far from Edward_. He looked around the room, it was pretty much empty, expect for an old cabinet and a few old chairs. Dean started to struggle against the ropes that bound him to the chair. He was weakened for the drug, his mind unclear. He struggled harder against his binds, the rope cutting into his skin.

"Don't struggle" came a gruff voice.

Dean looked around the shed, he spotted a dark figure in the corner of the room, he didn't need to see his face to know who it was though. Jason Woodson, the bastard who was after his family. He stepped out of the shadows, he seemed to look more frightening then he did before. Dean wasn't afraid though, he'd get out of this place and return to Edward and Jason would be six feet under. He stalked towards Dean, his strides graceful like vampires, but hey, he was high on their blood.

"You're sick" he crouched before Dean "you hang with vampires, you fucked a vampire and you asked, _willingly_, to be turned."

Dean's eyes widened in shock, how the hell did he know all of this? Jason removed his gag and Dean was able to voice his demands. He just smirked at him, his smirk sinister and cruel.

"Been following you," he said placing a hand on each one of Dean's wrists "saw how you fell for a vampire, a male vampire, that's even sicker, I mean, hey, vampires are hot, I'll give you that, but not worth loving" he gripped Dean's wrists tighter, sending a dull ach up his arms "Good fucks" he chuckled at his words and Dean bit his tongue, refusing to let this sick fuck know what he thought "But loving one? Making love to one? It's wrong! They aren't human, they're monsters, _evil_, and they should all be put down like the animals they are."

"They're not animals" Dean said calmly.

Jason laughed menacingly before slapping Dean across the face, he'd been slapped by a full-blooded vampire but this guy didn't know his own strength. He felt his bones fracture under the force. He saw stars; he heard ringing and his heart raced. This wasn't something he could handle; he was out of his league. He spat out a mouthful of blood; his head was pounding and the stars still danced before his eyes.

"You're a hunter for fuck's sake and you're fucking a vampire, our enemy, you're a disgrace!"

"Guess you haven't looked in the mirror lately then have ya?" Dean set his cocky grin in place and God he'd wish he'd shut up.

"You think I'm a monster" Dean was pulled to his feet, the ropes snapping like they were nothing "you think I am the freak?!" Dean saw his eyes flash black before he was tossed like a rag doll through the air, crashing down on a mirror he hadn't seen. A shard of glass embedded in his right leg, he cried out in pain only to be silenced by a swift kick to the stomach. This kick was more controlled, it hurt like hell, but he was sure he didn't just get his insides turned to slush. "You're the monster Dean."

**XoXoXoX**

When John Winchester received the message from his son that he was going to become a vampire, he packed his bags and jumped in the car, tearing up the highways at full speed. He wasn't about to let his son become a monster, not a chance. He drove with no sleep and only stopped to refuel the truck, his mind on his son. He didn't know when he stopped fuming, he didn't know when he thought that just maybe his son would be happier as a vampire, would be happy living this life. Now he stood in front of the house that his son had been renting for the last five months and he no longer wanted to stop Dean.

He had no idea why he had suddenly changed his mind or why he wanted his son to become something he had hunted, something he had _killed_. But Dean had been so happy and how could he take that from him? He would always be his son, vampire or not. He knocked on the door, hoping that he could still see Dean before he went through with this. No one answered though.

"John?"

John turned around to see a pale skinned man, Edward to be exact "where's Dean?"

Edward walked towards him, each step graceful "Someone has him," he said and John could see and hear the pain "I didn't want this to happen, I didn't want someone to hurt him, I'm sorry."

John placed his hand on his shoulder "It's ok" well it wasn't ok, someone had his son, _his boy_, but Edward truly was sorry "we'll find him, when did he go missing?"

Edward explained everything to John, filling in unnecessary details but making sure he understood everything clearly. They were both sitting on the steps of the porch now; Edward sat silently, still as a statue while John formed a plan. He had no idea where to start looking, Forks was small, yes, but there were still too many places to look. His son was in danger and he didn't have time to look under every rock. He had to find him on the first try, no second-guessing.

"Hello?" Edward said answering his phone, which took John away from his thoughts. "Don't hurt him," Edward hissed, "You want me, not him."

John listened as Edward shared a few words with his son's kidnapper, he didn't need to ask Edward who it was, he knew. Edward hung up the phone and turned to face John with a grim expression. "Where is Dean?" John demanded.

"He won't tell me" Edward replied grimly "I have to go back to my family but I'll come back soon, ok?"

John didn't believe Edward, he wasn't telling him something but he'd play along for now "sure."

"I'll find Dean," he said standing gracefully "I love him with all my heart, I won't let him be hurt."

John nodded, he believed Edward's words, he shouldn't, he really shouldn't but he did and he knew that Dean would be saved "I believe you."

**XoXoXoX**

Dean could barely breathe, he could barely see, he could hear though. He heard his heart drumming in his ears; he heard Jason's voice in the distance, he could hear as his minutes ticked away. He closed his eyes or maybe there were already closed, he only saw darkness. He pictured Edward's face, lips so red, skin so white, eyes so bright. He felt tears sting his eyes; he didn't think Edward would find him in time, the seconds ticked by two fast. He was losing blood; a shard of glass was embedded in his leg, he didn't remove it though, the blood would only come out faster.

He listened as Jason walked back to him, he was right near Dean, he could smell him. Anger, fear and hatred tainted the air Dean breathed, the anger and hatred came from Jason, the fear, _the panic_, came from Dean. He'd never been afraid, not like this, not even when the burning venom spread though his veins. He was truly afraid now; he found the meaning of fear.

He didn't know what was happening but before he knew it he was screaming in pain, in agony, the sound of bone breaking made his stomach churn and he forced away the bile. He shuddered in pain, he screamed and cried in pain. He felt like a mountain had just collapsed on him. He was pulled up now, Jason's face inches from his, his breath mixing with the sweat on blood that stained his face.

"How could you fuck a vampire?" he spat "how could you love one? Want to be with one?"

"Why do you hate them so much?" Dean groaned through the pain, "did you love one once?" he opened his eyes, he saw a flicker of pain in the hunters eyes "you did, didn't you?"

"No," he shouted, "she was human, my Jamie, was human but she trusted a vampire and he killed her!! He killed my Jamie!!"

"They can't always control themselves" Dean hissed "And yes, some are evil, some do deserve to die but not Edward, _not Edward_."

"Yes Edward" he shouted, "He killed my Jamie!!"

Dean pulled back; staring at the hunter with wide eyes "No, I don't believe you."

"Your lover" he growled, "Killed her! Murdered her in cold blood, like the monster, _like the freak_ he is! So he will die and so will you!" Dean was jerked to his feet before being thrown into a wall. "You will pay for what he did!"

**XoXoXoX**

Edward raced through the forest, the trees, grass and animals passing by in blurred colours. He didn't really see them though, only the path that led to his home. He ran as fast as he could, grateful that he didn't need air; he still pushed himself too hard. He didn't feel pain though, hadn't felt pain in many, many years, he felt an ache now though. An ache in his chest, an ache that only could be filled by Dean's safe return. He couldn't believe he had let Dean go, let him go after… _after him_. The man, the one person, who swore revenge on him, on his kind.

He wouldn't let Dean fade into the past like the others _he _had killed; he wouldn't let him kill the person he loved most. Edward would kill him, he didn't want to kill humans, but for Dean he'd do anything. He'd kill Jason; kill him so he couldn't hurt his lover or his family. He entered the house, Rosalie and Alice greeted him, Rosalie seemed unfazed by the troubles but Alice's chipper expression was nowhere to be seen and when Alice wasn't happy, things were really grim. He explained to them about John, not bothering with any pleasantries.

"So you told an obsessed hunter all about us?" Rosalie shouted at Edward "Great! Just freakin great!"

"He won't harm us" Edward assured, he was tired of Rosalie's bitterness towards Dean.

"Edward do you know where Dean is?" Alice asked.

"No" he said dryly "Do you."

"I can't see him" she said grimly "I keep trying but I just can't get a vision."

Edward nodded then looked back to Rosalie "I need your help."

"With what?"

"I need you and Emse to search the town while Alice, Jasper and Emmet I search the forests."

"Why should I?" she hissed "what's he to me?"

"Because Dean is family Rose" came Carlisle's voice of reason "and we protect our family."

"Fine" she narrowed her eyes then left the room.

"Is there anything you want me to help with?" Carlisle asked.

"I want you to go stay with Dean's father" he replied, "he wants to help find Dean but it's too dangerous."

"You know who it is, don't you?" Alice spoke, her voice laced with worry.

"Yes" Edward looked away, shame clouding his features.

"It's him" Alice said gradually, "Isn't it?" she looked at Edward now, her gold eyes darkened by distress.

"That wasn't your fault Edward" Carlisle said placing a soft hand on his son's shoulder "You never meant to lose control over yourself, Jamie's death was an accident."

Edward pulled away from his fathers touch "Shouldn't have happened though" he closed his eyes, he didn't want to see the images, the image of the blood, her. "I have to find Dean" he said loud and clear "this is my mistake, not his, he shouldn't have to pay for it."

**XoXoXoX**

Dean stared at the ceiling, he was going to die, any moment now, death was only minute's away, _seconds _away. He fought to take each breath, fought to keep his eyes from closing, he fought for Edward. He'd heard Jason ringing him, for the second time, he'd told Edward were he was, he was coming, Dean was saved. He just had to hold on. It hurt to breathe, hurt to move, he had to keep his eyes open though had to keep breathing. He saw a shadow loom over him, he saw Jason loom over him and he seemed, God he seemed more evil then any demon he'd battled.

He crouched down to Dean's height, pulled him up roughly by the collar of his shirt, now stained with blood. He didn't speak though, just stared at Dean, his eyes still gold but darkened by rage. He stared at Dean and he could see his plan unravel, he was going to kill Dean now, he was going to let Edward find him… like this… dead. He wanted to take Edward's love away from him, like he had done, he hadn't meant to though, Dean truly believed that.

"You're going to kill me" Dean whispered though the pain filled gasps "then just do it you sick fuck!"

"Not yet Dean" he said darkly "I want him to watch, like I had too, I want him to feel what I felt, to see what I saw."

"He didn't mean to kill her," Dean said and Dean believed his words, Edward would have never meant anyone harm.

"Yes HE did!" he screamed "he befriend her just so he could kill her! She said 'I trust him Jason, he can help us' but he killed her! I had to watch! I had to live while she died."

"Then go jump" Dean said, fighting away the pain and forcing on a cocky grin "Cause I don't care."

"ARGH!!" he hurled Dean to his feet.

Dean closed his eyes and waited for the pain but it didn't come, not he like expected. He fell to the ground and there was a crash but he did not make it. He forced his eyes open, there was Edward, pinning Jason to the ground, with ease. They wrestled for what felt like hours but was only minutes but Dean's only thoughts were he was safe. _He was safe_. He fought to keep his eyes open, watching the vampire and crazed hunter fight while the world slowly started to spin. His eyes drifted shut until a loud bang had him opening them and there was Edward.

"Dean" he pulled Dean gently, ever so gently into his arms, his cool body seemed to ease the ache of his bones "I'm here, you're safe now" they bounded into the air only to be pulled back down, Dean went sliding across the wall, he felt a sharp tear in his leg as he came to a halt. The glass was gone, ripped out with the force of the fall.

He placed his hand over the wound; he couldn't let Edward lose control, not now, _not again_. He saw that Jason had Edward pinned up against the wall, his knuckles white from the force he had around the vampires throat. He stared Edward, at Dean's lover, with hatred no words could describe. He seemed to be talking to Edward, but not with words. Did he know about Edward's gift, did he know he could read his mind?

"I won't kill him," Edward hissed.

"Why not?" Jason growled, "You killed my Jamie."

"I didn't mean too, I smelt her blood and I lost control," he said, sorrow in his tone.

"You still killed her!" he threw Edward sideways with such force that he didn't stop until he was close enough to touch Dean.

Dean looked into Edward's eyes, he saw no blood lust, only the need to save him "I trust you" Dean whispered in a tone to low to be heard by humans.

"Thank you" Edward mouthed before heaving himself to his feet and spinning around so fast that Dean didn't even see him. He threw Jason to the floor, pinning him with his body weight. Dean heard a loud crack, the sound of breaking bones so familiar to him. He felt all the fear and all the panic vanish, he felt safe; he knew he was safe. His eyes drifted shut, he felt Edward shaking him, calling to him, he didn't respond though, he was tired, _so tired_. He heard music though, a piano; Edward's song replaced the anguished cries. Edward's lullaby took away the pain and showed him the darkness.

Showed him peace…

**XoXoXoX**

Edward paced the corridors of Forks hospital, his mind racing, he heard so many voices, so many thoughts. Panic, joy, sorrow, he heard it all and for once he just couldn't block it out. He listened though, searching for the thoughts he had trouble reading, he searched for Dean's thoughts. He was still asleep; Carlisle had been the one to perform the surgery on him. His injuries had nearly killed him, could still kill him, Edward regretted not changing him when he had the chance. He was going to change Dean anyway, he was meant to, today, but the thud of Dean's heartbeat made him think twice. He didn't want Dean to have this life, to be a monster.

But if he died then Edward would regret his choice of taking Dean to the hospital when one bite could have saved him. His body had been broken, he'd been losing blood rapidly, he'd spent hours in surgery. He could have been saved with one bite. Edward dropped down onto a chair, he stared blankly at the white walls, he closed his eyes and tried to hear those thoughts. He heard someone's though, panic, a panicked father. His golden orbs snapped open, he saw John Winchester walking towards him, his face matching his thoughts.

"Where's Dean?" he demanded.

"He's in recovery," Edward said rising to his feet "Carlisle said he has broken leg, bruised lungs, blood loss and a bad concussion" Edward looked away, not wanting to see the emotions on the older mans eyes, he heard his thoughts that was enough "I could bite him… it'd save him."

"You mean it'd turn him into a vampire."

Edward looked back to the older man "He wants to be one of us anyway" he cleared his throat "He'll be asking me to turn him as soon as he's well again, I could save him a lot of pain" Edward knew that was a lie, the burning fire would hurt more then any of this, he knew it, so did Dean.

"I don't want my son to be some supernatural being" he could hear bitterness in his tone, Edward couldn't blame him though "I don't want him to lose his soul."

"So you've heard the stories" Edward said, "that vampires have no souls."

"Many times" John sighed heavily "If Dean really wants this though… if he truly wants this life then… then do it."

Edward chewed at the inside of his lip, he could hear John's mind screaming at him not to be saying this but another voice was telling him to let Dean have this. Edward nodded his head, this was want Dean wanted, he loved Dean more then the world so he'd give him what he wanted, even if he didn't want to either. "Would you like to see him before I do?" Edward asked, "You won't be able to see him for awhile after he's been turned, he will have strong blood lust, but it will pass."

John nodded solemnly.

"I will look after him," Edward said and God he hoped he was right "I won't let him use himself as bait again either."

John chuckled and a hint of a smile lit up his face "Dean always wants to be the hero, even if he gets himself killed."

"Dean is a hero," Edward said smiling.

John laughed softly "Yeah, he is."

**XoXoXoX**

Dean's eyes fluttered open; he looked around the room, his vision slightly blurred. He recognised his surroundings, it was a hospital room; they were all the same. Dull colours, uncomfortable beds, a too clean smell and the horrible sound of heart monitor beeping next to him. He knew he was in a hospital but why he didn't know, come to think of it, he had no idea what town he was even in or why he was here. He tried to recall his lost memories, tried to remember where he was and why, but he couldn't see past the thick cobwebs. He felt his head hurt as he tried to recall what the hell had happened, he gave up with an angry sigh of frustration.

Why in the world could he not remember anything and what the hell had happened to him? He felt sore from head to toe, quit literally too. He closed his eyes and breathed through the pain, just like his father had taught him. He wondered where his father was; did he know Dean was hurt? He opened he eyes in a hurry only to find his father standing in the doorway. He looked tired, his brow furrowed in concern and his mouth set in a grim line.

"Hey son" he said moving to sit in the chair next to the bed "how ya feeling?"

"Like a mountain fell on me," he said, ashamed at how weak his voice sounded, "Where am I?"

"Hospital" he said, his brow furrowing deeper.

"I know that" he said "but where and why?"

"You're in Forks…" John trailed off "Don't you remember?"

"No…"

"Nothing?"

"Not a thing."

"I'll be right back ok" John then departed from the room before Dean could protest.

**XoXoXoX**

Edward waited outside Dean's room, he still couldn't hear Dean's thoughts and it worried him. He could hear John's though, they were uneasy then all of a sudden he heard a thought that sent a chill down his spine. Dean didn't remember him, didn't remember a goddamn a thing. He had no idea where he was or why, he had no idea he asked to become a vampire and he had no idea he loved Edward. If Edward could cry he would have, his frozen heart ached and he fought hard to keep standing. Dean didn't remember, God he didn't remember and maybe it was a good thing.

"Edward" came John's rough voice "He doesn't remember anything, not you, not the town, nothing."

"Don't tell him about me" Edward choked out.

"He loves you though."

"And I love him" Edward spoke firmly despite his breaking heart "and… I'd much rather see him stay human, I don't want to see him give up his life but if he sees me and remembers me… he'll want to be turned" Edward paused, trying to hide his emotion "I should stay away from him, I should have stayed away, I will this time."

"Are you sure?"

"He'll live a normal life, he'll grow old, like he's meant to" Edward wished he didn't have to say this but this was what was truly best for Dean. He should stay human, find a wife, get married and have kids, not become the undead and watch his family die while he lived forever. "It's what's best."

"Alright" John turned around and walked back to his son's room.

Edward stared at the close doors, his heart shattered "Goodbye my love."

**XoXoXoX**

Nine weeks later and Dean was leaving Forks, the constant rain and cold had driven him crazy. He was glad he was leaving and glad he had yet again killed some evil son of a bitch. His father had told him that he had been on a vampire hunt and they had gotten the upper hand, he'd still managed to kill them but nearly lost his life. He'd been a coma for five months! He didn't feel like he had been sleeping for that long though, he still felt like he was missing something, missing a part of himself.

As he drove towards the exit he felt like he had forgotten something, something important. But that was crap, he was just feeling weird, it was all this rain, he decided, he needed sunshine and a new hunt oh and some good food. Hospital food was terrible as were the beds and the nurses weren't even hot. Yeah, he was glad to be leaving Forks.

The exit sign came into view and a sudden sadness washed over Dean, he truly felt like he had left something behind. He couldn't remember though, his mind still cloaked in cobwebs. He didn't even remember the fight between himself and the vampires. He hated not being able to remember and he hated that his stomach twisted and churned when Forks was no longer in his review mirror. He had the sudden urge to turn the car around and find what he had lost, but it was stupid, he hadn't lost anything. He turned the music up and stepped on the gas, he had to get away from here.

As he speed along the rainy highway he felt like he was leaving a part of himself behind but he didn't go back.

**The End**

**I'd like to thank everyone who has read and reviewed this story; I love you all so very much! And yes, I know the ending is sad, but I'm going to write a sequel, just don't know when but there will be one :) Thanks again everybody. Oh and one last thing if someone could make a Youtube video for this story for me I'd be forever grateful :) **


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